Robert, I realise how lost you must feel. I lost my live-in son twenty-eight months ago, and I swear his two dogs and his garden have helped me so much. I would have been distraught without them. I have also had good feelings from posting lots of pics of Bernie, the older happy and healthy ones. I live in a village, so was able to do a little garden on the main corner as a memorial, and people find it easier to talk about him when I am there working. I hope you find what is good for you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Yesterday marked 4 months since I lost my husband of 24 years. We were friends for 32 years. I am totally lost without him. His death was so very sudden and unexpected.
I don't have any great words of comfort and I am not sure when you will begin to stabilize (I haven't yet, so 4 month isn't the mark), but I do know that the people on this site have been helpful to me. I am disabled and I can't always get to a support group meeting, but I have found some great people here. I hope you find some comfort here, like I have.
I can't make things better for you, but I can listen when you want to talk about how you feel. I will be praying for you, Robert. I hope that doesn't offend you.