I'm new at this .But I really like this site.I see alot of people dealing with the same thing I am.I hope I'm writting this in the right place.
I lost my DAD on March 1 of this year.And I'm stilling having a hard time believing he is gone.He was always a good working dad.Doing things,working all the time,going places and doing everything for any one.He was always healthily and never took a pill and never smoke and never complain.Till about 9 years ago his heart started giving him problems.Then high blood pressure.Came a diabete.Then it went to triple by pass to his heart,then went to double by pass to his brain,then to his lung with fluid all the time.Then he had get that drain all the time,then it went to one lung they had to drain and put some kind of stuff in it to stop it from filling up all the time,so then the lung went and then he had only one lung.And then it went to loosing blood,getting blood.And then it went to he couldn't catch his breath,and then he couldn't walk far,and losing his breath.Then he went to oxygen only when he needed it,then all the time at night only,the went to all the time towards to the end.He was in the hospital in and out all the time.But he always fought it.Till back in Sept.2009 it all started going down hill.He started complaining he cant breath and even go to one room to another.Then me and my sister and my mom had to be with him 24/7.He had to have someone their 24/7 to watch him,his walking got bad.He didn't want to eat he was full right away.His sugar started dropping down all the time.Then it went to his kidneys and then they started to shut down.Then we knew we were loosing him.He just couln't do it any more.He fought to the end.
But I can't stop thinking about him.I know he in a better place now,he don't have to suffer no more he in good hands now.But I'm still crying alot ...And my nerves got really bad lately.Some times I don't even want to get out of bed.I don't even want to go to the cemetery.And his birthday on Tuesday,July 20.I know if I go, I will break down more.Then I will be crying all day and then I will be dreaming in the night.Cause I went their maybe 3 months after,to cemetary,and I took it really hard,crying..laying on the ground and I would'nt leave till the night they carry out,and I screaming let me hear with him.I want my dad back,why,why,why to me.And I didn't even want to go the house,up to see my mom. And if I did I started to cry.Then I would have my mom crying with me. But I did started going up to see her now.I'm dealing with it a little better.And also I'M TALKING to people which I wouldn't talk to know one,just keep it all to my self.So I think I'm doing good.DAD I MISS YOU SO MUCH,I LOVE YOU.Sharon