Sandfly
  • Female
  • New Zealand
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Sandfly's Friends

  • MicheleRedman
  • Sara Murphy
  • Marsha H

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Sandfly and MicheleRedman are now friends
Aug 2
Sandfly commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hello everyone, I am dreading the first anniversary. My husband died August 2016. Still stunned as I am writing these words. I live alone and have no family nearby, my side of the family all lives in Europe,his two sisters are closer but still quite…"
Jul 29
Sandfly commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane I am thinking of you. How many times we forget for a second they are not here and then WHAM! We remember and it feels like it just happened. I was walking home from work tonight and I swear for a second it was all normal, there was a…"
Jun 21
Sandfly commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Steve, I absolutely love the lamp. So beautiful and poignant. Also  love the symbolism as I am sure he was the light of your life. Sara,DJ, Marsha and Mary Jane, thanks so much for your comments.  Mary Jane I am so glad you survived the…"
Jun 19
Sandfly commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hello everyone, I am so tired but can't sleep.Sitting in bed with my cat purring away and my husband's ashes next to me.Must get him a proper box, I just want something really special  for him. I have been having pains in my chest and…"
Jun 17
Sara Murphy and Sandfly are now friends
Jun 17
Sandfly commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hello everyone, I am so lost today. Forced myself to go to work and only lasted half a day. I feel useless .I have no purpose. Coming home was even worse. I wish my husband was here to talk to. Give me a hug. It's just me and the cat. It is 9…"
Jun 15
Marsha H replied to Sandfly's discussion I used to love long week ends. in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Sandfly ...  Your post had me in tears.  It has been just over 6 years since my dear husband passed away and to this day I detest long weekends.  I too see people getting ready to go on vacation for a long weekend, hear them laughing…"
Jun 6
Sara Murphy replied to Sandfly's discussion I used to love long week ends. in the group Bereaved Spouses
"That's one of the most difficult things......hearing other people making plans, even something as simple as the grocery store or doctor's apt because they're making those plans together.   I feel bad about being jealous but…"
Jun 6
Sandfly posted a status
"I am referring to comments in the 'messages from the other side' discussion. would love to hear recent experiences."
Jun 4
Sandfly posted a status
"These are great but are old posts. I would love anything recent, anone?"
Jun 4
Sandfly added a discussion to the group Bereaved Spouses
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I used to love long week ends.

I used to love long week ends. Now I am dreading them.It was hard hearing the banter and the excitement of my colleagues sharing their plans while all I could think about was how to fill the void for an extra day.It will be just as bad when I get back to work. Everyone will tell their fun stories and I will stoically smile and say 'how lovely' and 'what fun'. I don't begrudge them being happy,I miss being happy.Today is almost over and I made it through, two more days to go. I miss you my…See More
Jun 3
Marsha H replied to Sandfly's discussion A family of one in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Sandfly ...  My deepest condolences on the loss of your husband and I am so sorry you have to join this site, but all of us hope you will continue to post your feelings because this site saved my own life when I my dear Ernie (65) passed…"
May 31
Sara Murphy replied to Sandfly's discussion A family of one in the group Bereaved Spouses
"It takes a while for the fog to lift.  My head knows he's not coming back but my heart still can't believe it.   I still cry for him every day although not all day every day like in the beginning.  For the first…"
May 26
Sandfly replied to Sandfly's discussion A family of one in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Hi Sarah, thank you for your kind words. They do help :) You have been such a traumatic event and your husband was so young! I am so very sorry he died , and so suddenly. I can just imagine your  agony of that hour and when hope of a different…"
May 26
Sara Murphy replied to Sandfly's discussion A family of one in the group Bereaved Spouses
"I am so sorry for your loss.  It's an unbearable grief.  I lost my husband on 1/13/16.  He was just 52 years old and we were together for 30 years.  I hope telling you this will alleviate your guilt of not being able to help…"
May 25

Sandfly's Blog

A family of one

Posted on May 23, 2017 at 2:09pm 2 Comments

Hello, I just joined the group. I am having a really BAD day, can't stop crying.

My darling husband of 29 years died unexpectedly in August last year. I was overseas at the time. We have no children and no extended family where we live and very few friends. I had to ask the neighbour to check why he was not answering his phone and it took for EVER. I wanted him to break the door down but he was saying I am over reacting. Eventually my neighbour was able to open a small window and see…

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