Sandralee Vahey
  • Female
  • Norwood, Pennsylvania
  • United States
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  • Virginia
  • Peg Otley

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Joel A. Vahey

Posted on May 10, 2010 at 10:25pm 0 Comments

Yesterday was Mother's Day and I cried for most of the day. You see, I buried my beloved husband the day before. We had been together for twenty-two years. He always bought me a mother's day card even though we did not have any children together. He was a very thoughtful and sincere person who would do anything for anybody especially his friends and neighbors. He will be greatly missed especially by me.

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At 5:47pm on October 16, 2010, Virginia said…
Hi Sandralee, well i guess i should check my page more lol so sorry. I'm glad you seen there still is good in this world. were you able to read your book i hope so, and i'm glad your willing to take on a new step, it is easy does it, baby steps ok i'm going to put a update on my page. good luck stay in touch i hope you are feeling a little better it's a slow process. hugs and god bless
At 5:47pm on October 16, 2010, Virginia said…
Hi Sandralee, well i guess i should check my page more lol so sorry. I'm glad you seen there still is good in this world. were you able to read your book i hope so, and i'm glad your willing to take on a new step, it is easy does it, baby steps ok i'm going to put a update on my page. good luck stay in touch i hope you are feeling a little better it's a slow process. hugs and god bless
At 8:18pm on September 22, 2010, Virginia said…
hi was just wondering how your doing, i hope you are doing ok and as good as can be,
At 2:41pm on September 13, 2010, Virginia said…
Hi Sandralee, thank you for writing, how are you ? I agree with you, I believe mike is with me everyday well I'm still a bit weak so I'll go for now but will write later thanks again.
At 9:38am on June 5, 2010, Virginia said…
Hi Sandralee.thought I'd say hi and hope you are ok I've not heard from you so I hope you are ok
At 9:47am on May 30, 2010, Virginia said…
Hi Sandralee, thought I'd say hi and let you know you are on my mind as i know how it is getting things settled i was in a got to get it done mode right after my husband passed because i knew the depression would hit and i'd be useless i know people thought it strange but i didn't care i even told one of the ins. ladys this and she understood i felt at first i looked like i was money hungry because i was doing all this right after he passed i did wait till his mother went back home she stayed with me a week and she understood as she lost her husband 3 yrs. ago well i'll go for now was just thinking of you . stay intouch Virginia
At 9:16am on May 23, 2010, Virginia said…
Hi Sanderalee, sorry it took so long to get back with you. We are haveing a hugh BBQ on the 31st and my sister decided we should have a family reunion with all the cousins that live around our state.The only time we all get together( yea you guessed it ) is a death in the family,we were all close when we were kids as we all lived close to each other.We have a large family and as we grew we all spread out everywhere,so it is at my house and the yard is one heck of a mess as my nephew who took over the yard when my husband got sick only cut what was nesseary,now he's trying to get it looking nice.I've been doing what I can but with my disabilty I'm not much help. To get back on topic. I do belive in the super natural.and was taught to respect it.I would never ask someone why they said that it is not for me to judge how familys deal with their grief.I was always taught to pay your respects and make food lol for the family and ask if there is anything I can to.I don't know if you read what I wrote on the message board yesterday, but I haven't had a dream about mike since he passed and to me that means he is at peace and so am I in the descisions I had to make.I know it hurts when we are questioned like that but, I've lost so many people in my life I truelly don't care what others think and I've been that way for many years. Boy does that bring up some moments wow, anyway, you keep your head high and I truely hope you make out getting thru all the paper work I know it is alot to digest ontop of the depression,I'll be here for you anyway I can. ok going to go for now.Virginia
At 7:16pm on May 22, 2010, Peg Otley said…
I don't think those things are silly. I always felt that if we remember it that well then it is special. Harry and I always cherished the moment we decided to set our wedding date. We were sitting in his corvette in front of his house and he said you pick the month and I'll pick the day. March 6, 1973. We didn't give my parents much time:) Today, I was having a terrible day. It's been raining hard off and on all day. Every time I looked at his picture I cried. During one my "episodes" I got a text message from my youngest son saying that he is really missing Dad. Before I could answer, the phone rang and it was him. He was crying and so was I. We talked about Harry and we both cried a little more then we started talking aobut funny things he did and before I knew it we were both laughing. Harry told all of us I don't know whaat you are all so upset about, Im gonna beat this. He was doing well and then the whold thing turned around and they quit the treatments the Monday before Thanksgiving. They told him they would keep him comfortable. We had our usual Thanksgiving feast at the school hall. There were 41 of us and Harry stayed all day watching the grandchildren and all the "BIG" kids playing basketball, soccer, football etc. He sat in a wheelchair and we got full family pictures as his sister was up from Louisiana and my daughter and her family from Georgia.
There will be those horrible days when you just wish you were with them but you have to think about the rest of your family and what it would do to them. It is hard. Very hard. I always said if he was a rotten husband, it would be easier. He was wonderful and it's those "silly" moments that help me to get through it. You will find that out too. There are times when I still can't believe he's gone and it hits me like a ton of bricks. All the stages are normal. Whatever makes you happy thinking about him is special. I don't know where you live but I live in Pgh. and since my husband passed in
Dec. the weather has been awful. Being in the house so much has not helped. If we get some good weather for a change, MAYBE, I can keep busy OUT of the house and that would help me. I have not gone through his things yet other than some of his sports shirts which he never wore because he collected sports stuff. One day I will do it in my OWN time. God Bless you. Hang in there.
At 8:26am on May 18, 2010, Virginia said…
Hi Sandralee,Some people don't understand why we tell our loved ones it's ok to let go.I did the same thing boy that was one of the hardest things to do,I told him I would be ok what a lie that was, but I truelly believe it gives them the peace they need.I also made my nephew who was like a son to my husband,he truely didn't want to do it but I told him he had to,we each did it seperatly.I hope you can get use to doing the bills, my husband couldn't have told you what any of ours was lol I use to kid him all the time about it,I learned at the age of 16 how to do them because my dad did all that and when he passed my mom was clueless,I told myself then that I would never be that dependent on anyone lol so mike ( that was my husbands name ) said go for it lol one less thing for me to worry about.I handled everything even getting his driver license renewed, until they made everyone go to a photo,I told him sorry but I didn't think they would let me put my pic. on his lol he wasn't a happy camper lol. well I hope we stay in touch I'll be here when you need me. Boy writing this I've went from crying to laughing,wich is pretty much how everyday is for me. your in my thoughts and prayers. Virginia
At 10:04am on May 17, 2010, Virginia said…
Sandralee, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean when you say you second guess the ifs but that is normal.I did and still do ,it has been a year already that I lost my husband 4-29-09 our wedding ann. was 5-15 we would have been married 17 yrs. but we were together 32 yrs. I find it still so unbelievable that he is gone, where did the time go. You are so right about the time being an eternity but it seems to fly by, and I'm disabled and don't go out much, and as far as what you said about wanting him back is sooooo true my husband had emphysema for 10 yrs. although he wasn't bed ridden he couldn't get around because ha was so short of breath even with his oxygen.The one thing I'm so glad about is he didn't have to suffer the last stages of it as that is horriable he had a massive heart attack at home I did c p r but it took 30 mins. to revive him he wound up on life support for 4 days till I couldn't let him live like that he always said he didn't even want to be put on one . The DR. said he wouldn't last another 3 so I decided to let him go he never regained concessness, I truelly don't have any regrets about that only that we didn't have more time together. they are with us , god bless and be with you Virginia

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