Hi I am Scott.  I widowed 2 1/2 years ago.  I have recently realized that I am grieving late or maybe there is no real time and it will probably go on indefinitely.  Sometimes I wonder which is harder; the loss of Skip or the hell that we went through for the year prior.  It does not change anything but I think about it.  Where was the payback for being on top of all the care giving and making so many decisions and all that?   I sometimes feel so CHEATED which at first makes me feel selfish…