Hello Shelia, My son Logan, has the same birthday as your Jason, Oct 3rd, Logan would have been 33 this year. I lost my Logie on the 26th of Oct last year. He was living in Vietnam opening up resorts. I just got back from Texas to bury my mothers ashes, the next day we got the call from the embassy that they found our son in his room as he did not show up for work. It has been a painful jouney as you well know...I had a memorial benefit this last Friday for Logan, it was a kareoke contest because Logan use to love to ham it up when he'd sing. All the proceed went to "unhooked" a teen addicition help center. The turn out was amazing and the money made was fantistic!! "unhooked" said that could help 4 young adults to recovery. I felt great about that...helping people, remembering Logan, and having fun doing it...a wining trio. I can't just sit here and weep for what I have no control over... I had to do something positive for a very painful and tragic situation. I know Logan is smiling on this one...Please get back to me and tell me about your Jason and yourself. BIG ((HUG)) to you, Macs
I know what you mean Sheila... in 4 weeks will be the one year anniversary..then 16 days later thanksgiving, a week later his 34th birthday, then christmas, new years...it just keeps beating me and beating me...everyone expects me to put on the xmas like I used to... all the decorations dinners etc... I am just not feeling it.
It is hard to watch all his friends move on with thier lives...and here I am stuck in my grief watching the world go right past me...
Hoping you have a better day hon... Huggs to you and I will be thinking of your Jason... Forever Bobby's mom...Deb
dear sheila,i know tomorrow is going to be a hard day. i am going to keep you in my prayers . thank you for sharing your story with me. i try set aside some time to thoroughly go over what happened to dusty. if allowed my thoughts to wonder, i would not be able to function. however, i dont remember much of the first year at all. today i have been teary, you know, we just miss our boys with all our being. i sit hear and wonder, how will i really live the rest of my life without my very handsome, witty, loving, and smart son. it sounds like you and your son were very close. i will touch base with you tomorrow , your in my thoughts and prayers, hugs your friend valerie
hi sheila, its great to hear back from you.. you are much earlier in your journey of grief than i am at this point. i really dont remember much of the first year except that the approaching of the 1st anniversary was horrible, i was in an all day therapy about a month before that date and i as i approached his 2nd anniv, 1 month ago, it was real bad and i lost a job i was 2 weeks into. i still cannot believe he is gone, we were extremely close, even throughout his drug abuse, i refused to slam the door on him, even though many people suggested that, i am so very glad i didnt do that. i loved him unconditionally, no, i wasnt happy about the drugs, but i loved him more each day and feared the eventual outcome. what happened (if you dont mind me asking) to your precious jason?? stay in touch, i will keep you in my prayers as you approach jason's birthday as well as his first anniversary. hugs, valerie
welcome to legacy grief site for moms and dad who have lost a child. i am very sorry for your loss. i lost my only child, dusty, age 25 due to a drug overdose. its been 2 yrs and 1 month and it doesnt seem to get much easier. i have had only minimal support throught this journey. i have no friends and i only have my husband and mother in law, my husband was not dusty's father, in fact, dusty's father was a deadbeat and did not want to be in dusty's life. a real loser.....i picked up the pieces and tried to be a good mom and dad, and i know i gave dusty a great life! except he turned to drugs most likely due to his dad rejecting him. i did everything humanly possible to save his life, but he just wasnt ready to put down the drugs. i too, think: why am i still here???? thinking of you and sending you a hug, valerie
Hi Sheila - honestly, I have no idea how I do it. I look back and wonder how I can still be living. I certainly don't care if I am or not. I just took it one step at a time. Xmas was the hardest by far. I have a great therapist, and a group through hospice - parents who have lost adult children. And this board. If you don't have those things, try looking for one in your area. I know at first I thought I was the only one in the world that could possibly be going through these things. Knowing there are others helped to keep me from losing my mind. I cry every day, I miss him every second, I feel despair, anger, disbelief. I have no idea how I will get through tomorrow. I just try to get through today. I know now that it will never get any easier. At first I thought it might. I think you just get more used to it. I have always said that I will consider myself as healed as I possibly can when I can look back and remember and savor all the wonderful times we shared. Now, when I think of them, all I feel is overwhelming sadness. Keep in touch - it really does help.