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  • Bloomsbury, NJ
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Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"My Dearest Marsha, Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how I look at it, I am all too familiar with how a family can tell you to your face how much they love me, how much I am loved, we have your back, please let us know if we can help…"
2 hours ago
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane, Mark's illness was a neurological disorder very similar Parkinson's and so his doctors treated him with the same and similar meds, all of which were very strong and powerful pain killers and a mix of other drugs to try and…"
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I too felt fear, there were several layers of fear.  Mark passed away at home and having to answer all the questions that the paramedics hit me with, then the local police arrived and I had to answer all the same questions over, several…"
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I haven't posted this in a while, seems like today is a good day for repeats, each day I wake up and see Mark's photo, I think of this poem: For those who believe: I wish I could tell you of all that God has planned But if I were to tell…"
Apr 11
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Sara - Pablo Cruise "Love Will Find a Way", 1978 I too have had many signs from Mark, I remember waking up one afternoon by a fragrance, it was his favorite cologne, and it lingered as I became fully awake. This has happened several…"
Apr 10
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Part two:  I was stunned and caught off guard, then I desperately wanted to thank him, as I looked up he had made his way to the top and disappeared out of sight.  I quickly moved up the steps and reached the top and took the short steps…"
Apr 10
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Many of us on this site can attest to spiritual visits.  Before I lost Mark, I encountered an Angel one day in a busy train station some 10 stories below ground full of busy people moving about all trying to get to where they were going. …"
Apr 10
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Marsha, When I lost Mark all I had left in my world was my dear sweet Bella.  I know without a doubt I was loosing it, I was alone and did not have anyone I felt close enough too and my family was 1000 miles away.  Bella would…"
Apr 6
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dearest Marsha, Please have your broom tuned up and add a side car for your pups, you will always have a place with Chuck and I no matter where we end up.  This week we have started the task of clean and fix up so that we can get the house…"
Apr 4
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Mary Clough, It is quite normal for us to fall into depression no matter how long we have dealt with our loss.  As we face each new tomorrow the weight of our loss comes and goes just like the tides of the ocean.  Sometimes I find…"
Apr 3
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"When I joined Legacy this was my profile picture, Mark on the left and me on the right.  The year was 2001, company Christmas Party in Ft. Lauderdale, Mark was 39 and I was 53.  Hard to imagine that so much has changed over the past 16…"
Mar 26
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I found this today while reading posts on Facebook, a very dear friend of mine posted this.  My friend Gabby lives in San Antonio, TX and spent many hours on the phone with me right after Mark passed, just listening and crying with me.  I…"
Mar 24
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Good day to my Legacy Family, It has also been awhile since I posted and I too have been keeping up with all the posts.  Today I find myself reflecting back over the past two + years and am humbled by all of the events and life changing events…"
Mar 22
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dearest Marsha, I have struggled with depression my entire life, somewhere along the way a Doctor put me on Prozac when I was 37.  At the time I had been thru an ugly separation, it wasn't the separation, it was all of the things in my…"
Mar 3
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear family, Retiring and moving to snow country has been a real eye opener for me.  It takes time to adjust to new places and yes the weather, still I see it as a new adventure.  I have decided that this past storm has placed too much…"
Feb 11
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Family, Thought I would re post a poem I found soon after my loss, it says a lot and I found it today while going thru my computer documents : “Friends and Family … Don’t tell me how to grieve” Don’t tell me that…"
Feb 3

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Mark & Steve

Posted on February 2, 2015 at 7:13pm 2 Comments

Mark and I met 27 years ago in Jacksonville, FL. I was cruising a popular after hours spot along the river and noticed a handsome young man standing by the edge of the river. Being shy, I circled back not once but twice; the 3rd time I see him standing in the middle of the road so I stopped. He walks over and asks me when was I planning to stop and talk to him. Then something happened to me that I did not believe in, I fell head over heels in love with a total stranger. Odd thing is I got the… Continue

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At 12:24pm on November 13, 2016, Eric said…
Hi Steve,

Thank you for the friendship. Do you live in Dallas or NJ?
I live in Richardson.

It's been a tough few years for me, losing my partner suddenly and both of my parents over a few years. I even lost my dog...When it rains it pours. My live has changed in so many ways...I found this site and home to find out more about the grieving process. My family was not close, so suddenly finding fillings of loss has been devastating . It's a rather long story. Hope you are having a great weekend
At 11:17am on August 30, 2016, Steve said…
T.C. Goodwin, we share the same last name. Just occurred to me that I never mentioned that before.
At 9:09am on February 23, 2016, T.C. Goodwin said…

Amen Steve...

At 8:46am on February 23, 2016, Steve said…
For those who believe:

I wish I could tell you of all that God has planned

But if I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand

But one this is for certain though my life on earth is o’re

I am closer to you now than I was ever before

And to my very many friends trust God knows what is best

I’m still not far away from you, I’m just beyond the crest

There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb

But together we can do it taking one day at a time

It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too

That as you give unto the world so the world will give to you

If you can help somebody who is in sorrow or in pain

Then you can say to God at night my day was not in vain

And now I am contented that my life was worthwhile

Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile

So if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low

Just lend a hand to pick him/her up as on your way you go.

When you are walking down the street and you’ve got me on your mind,

I’m walking in your footsteps only half a step behind

And when you feel the gentle breeze or the wind upon your face

That’s me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace

And when it’s time for you to go from that body to be free

Remember you’re not going you are coming here to me.

I will always love you.

At 10:57pm on February 22, 2016, elyse said…
On your post from Jan.27,what is the poem:For those who believe,etc.elyse
At 4:00pm on April 8, 2015, Jane P. said…

Steve, I am going to be one of those that will tell you to take your time.  I strongly suggest no to make any life altering changes within the first year.  Your post hit home for me.  Before my husband passed I retired from a job which I loved and was so respected but I did it with no regrets to take care of him.  After he passed away I confined myself to the sofa or bed and it it were not for my dogs I might still be there.  

I have no clue what God has in store for me or why am I here and he is not.  I guess why is an unanswered question we will need to figure out in time.   I try my hardest to stay positive and so when I am down I need to count my blessings and not my heart aches and that keeps me going.  

Grieving such as ours is a baby step process and unless someone has lost their soulmate, best friend, spouse all rolled into one they will never understand the pain we are in.  They will never understand the pain lingers and never truly goes away!  Take one day at a time Steve and remember to count your blessings and take life slow for now.  Sending big hugs your way.  Hugs, Jane P.


At 2:15pm on February 17, 2015, T.C. Goodwin said…

Helpful Tips:.

Keep busy and continue your routine of work and activity.  Many expressed the great help they received from prayer.

Let your grief manifest itself; don’t try to hold it in. The sooner you grieve and weep, the sooner you will pass the period of acute grief.

Don’t isolate yourself; mix with people and allow them to mix with you. If it helps you, talk freely about your lost loved one.

As soon as possible, take an interest in other people and their problems. Try to help others, and you will help yourself."


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