Steve
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  • Bloomsbury, NJ
  • United States
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Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"A few days ago a friend of mine in Dallas posted the below on Facebook along with a video of his willow tree moving with the currents of a gentle breeze; he was diagnosed with throat cancer a few months back and was told that if chemo didn’t…"
Sunday
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Always happy to hear from my sis Marsha, The nerve test will determine my fate as far as surgery goes, it's the waiting that is almost as painful as everything else.  No matter what the outcome, I am certain that I will get through…"
Saturday
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane, Tornado’s are scary, I had such an encounter in Jacksonville, Florida and they are nothing to take lightly.  Living in Dallas Mark and I faced a lot of scary evenings, we lived close to downtown Dallas and when the storm sirens…"
Saturday
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane, Who knows what will happen, Tulsa is not that far from the Dallas/Ft Worth area, once we are settled, I see several road trips in store for Chuck and me.  Texas is big and there is so much of the state I did not take time to get out…"
Jul 24
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Deb, The outer banks is the most awesome part on the east coast.  I fell head over heels in love with them the very first trip I took to them.  Each island is different and there is something to see at each turn, plus you have access…"
Jul 24
Steve replied to Andrew Berenyi Jr.'s discussion On the last day of our vacation my husband died. in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Andrew, When Mark passed away we were living in Dallas, TX, we moved there knowing that Mark could not hold onto a full-time job, due to the medications he was on.  He was very smart and before we left south Florida he had completed his…"
Jul 14
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Marsha, you have such a calming way of putting things into perspective, as I watched Mark pass on his expression was one of someone asleep, his eyes were closed and the noise of his breathing just stopped.  I found great comfort this morning…"
Jul 7
Steve replied to Andrew Berenyi Jr.'s discussion On the last day of our vacation my husband died. in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Andrew, I found this poem two years ago and I still refer to it when I am down, I pray that it will offer you the same comfort it has brought to me.  Take care dear sir and sleep well tonight: For those who believe: I wish I could tell you…"
Jul 1
Steve replied to Andrew Berenyi Jr.'s discussion On the last day of our vacation my husband died. in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Andrew, My name is Steve, I lost the love of my life, Mark, on November 31st, 2014.  It was a sunny afternoon in Dallas, TX and we were both napping.  I was awakened to similar sounds that you described, I sat there in horror as I watched…"
Jul 1
Steve replied to Malcolm Alexander's discussion Still missing him... in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"I found this online one night while researching grief, to this day I cannot remember how or where I found it and it no longer matters to me.  This poem offers me an enormous amount of comfort, I lost my one true love Mark William Thomas Cava on…"
Jun 27
Steve liked Malcolm Alexander's discussion Still missing him...
Jun 27
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Marsha, The very first thought I had was this, had the invitation been delivered weeks or a month in advance; would you feel better about going or would it have made it far worse having the same apprehensions spread out longer?  I pose…"
Jun 23
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Jun 18
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Sandfly and All my Legacy family, Mark and I, long before his passing, had discussed each other’s final wishes should the unthinkable happen.  For Mark, his choice was simplistic and yet thoughtful; he wanted his body donated to research…"
Jun 18
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"We have 35 acres of woods behind us, which makes it easy to find a resting place far enough from the house. Nature is very efficient in taking care of its own. Do not feel bad about wrapping it in a box and placing it in a plastic bag for regular…"
Jun 13
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"final  In the following weeks and many walks with Bella, we found feathers of various sorts in our path and each one was just as interesting and startling as the first one I found so long ago and had tucked away in the depths of my…"
Jun 13

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Steve's Blog

Mark & Steve

Posted on February 2, 2015 at 7:13pm 2 Comments

Mark and I met 27 years ago in Jacksonville, FL. I was cruising a popular after hours spot along the river and noticed a handsome young man standing by the edge of the river. Being shy, I circled back not once but twice; the 3rd time I see him standing in the middle of the road so I stopped. He walks over and asks me when was I planning to stop and talk to him. Then something happened to me that I did not believe in, I fell head over heels in love with a total stranger. Odd thing is I got the… Continue

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At 12:24pm on November 13, 2016, Eric said…
Hi Steve,

Thank you for the friendship. Do you live in Dallas or NJ?
I live in Richardson.

It's been a tough few years for me, losing my partner suddenly and both of my parents over a few years. I even lost my dog...When it rains it pours. My live has changed in so many ways...I found this site and home to find out more about the grieving process. My family was not close, so suddenly finding fillings of loss has been devastating . It's a rather long story. Hope you are having a great weekend
At 11:17am on August 30, 2016, Steve said…
T.C. Goodwin, we share the same last name. Just occurred to me that I never mentioned that before.
At 9:09am on February 23, 2016, T.C. Goodwin said…

Amen Steve...

At 8:46am on February 23, 2016, Steve said…
For those who believe:

I wish I could tell you of all that God has planned

But if I were to tell you, you wouldn’t understand

But one this is for certain though my life on earth is o’re

I am closer to you now than I was ever before

And to my very many friends trust God knows what is best

I’m still not far away from you, I’m just beyond the crest

There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb

But together we can do it taking one day at a time

It was always my philosophy and I’d like it for you too

That as you give unto the world so the world will give to you

If you can help somebody who is in sorrow or in pain

Then you can say to God at night my day was not in vain

And now I am contented that my life was worthwhile

Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile

So if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low

Just lend a hand to pick him/her up as on your way you go.

When you are walking down the street and you’ve got me on your mind,

I’m walking in your footsteps only half a step behind

And when you feel the gentle breeze or the wind upon your face

That’s me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace

And when it’s time for you to go from that body to be free

Remember you’re not going you are coming here to me.

I will always love you.

Anonymous
At 10:57pm on February 22, 2016, elyse said…
Steve,
On your post from Jan.27,what is the poem:For those who believe,etc.elyse
At 4:00pm on April 8, 2015, Jane P. said…

Steve, I am going to be one of those that will tell you to take your time.  I strongly suggest no to make any life altering changes within the first year.  Your post hit home for me.  Before my husband passed I retired from a job which I loved and was so respected but I did it with no regrets to take care of him.  After he passed away I confined myself to the sofa or bed and it it were not for my dogs I might still be there.  

I have no clue what God has in store for me or why am I here and he is not.  I guess why is an unanswered question we will need to figure out in time.   I try my hardest to stay positive and so when I am down I need to count my blessings and not my heart aches and that keeps me going.  

Grieving such as ours is a baby step process and unless someone has lost their soulmate, best friend, spouse all rolled into one they will never understand the pain we are in.  They will never understand the pain lingers and never truly goes away!  Take one day at a time Steve and remember to count your blessings and take life slow for now.  Sending big hugs your way.  Hugs, Jane P.

 

At 2:15pm on February 17, 2015, T.C. Goodwin said…

Helpful Tips:.

Keep busy and continue your routine of work and activity.  Many expressed the great help they received from prayer.

Let your grief manifest itself; don’t try to hold it in. The sooner you grieve and weep, the sooner you will pass the period of acute grief.

Don’t isolate yourself; mix with people and allow them to mix with you. If it helps you, talk freely about your lost loved one.

As soon as possible, take an interest in other people and their problems. Try to help others, and you will help yourself."

 
 
 

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