Steve Cain
  • 58, Male
  • Aurora, IL
  • United States

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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Trina ... I sure hope I do make you feel better and give you a little peace as you so deserve it.  I agree it's no coincidence when I feel Ernie is protecting me as Joseph is protecting you.  I really don't care what others…"
Trina Mamoon commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Marsha, Thanks so much for your words of encouragement and understanding.  It's no coincidence when you feel your Ernie is protecting you. These things that happen so often as you describe, can't be just coincidences. Over this…"
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Trina ...  I'm so sorry you had a rough day of it.  It never ceases to amaze me how some things bring memories back to us (the falling snow in your case) and tears flows unexpectedly at the most inopportune times. You and I believe…"
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Georgia ...  I just had to take the time to answer your post as I feel your pain and anger and then forgiveness.  It's almost 5 years since my Ernie passed and although not as often I still can cry and get angry at him for…"
Trina Mamoon commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hello All, It's been quiet here on this site with not many posts recently. Georgia, so sorry to hear about your pain and suffering. It'll be 14 months on October 4 since my darling Joseph left this world, and it still hurts like hell.…"
georgia commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hi Marsha,Wilena, I also talk to Louie all the time especially if something is bothering me. I cry all the time when I talk to him I even yell at him for leaving me ,Then I apologize because I know he did not want to go. I am not lonely till he…"
Sep 29
Linda B commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Computer problems here angels but just wanted to see how everyone was doing and to say hello. I think I understand your pain    and from what I feel and what I read it is the worst pain I have ever  been through and they havent found…"
Sep 15
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Wilela ...  Sometimes when I get frustrated or just feel down I just talk to him as if he were still here with me.  Sometimes I cry and sometimes I'm just plain angry and want to get my frustrations out.  They know how tough it…"
Sep 15
Wilela Trip commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Marsha - How do you talk to Ernie?  I try everyday but I always end up crying and then I can't stop.  I want so much to talk to Brian and tell him what a rough time I'd have without him.  I think he knows without me telling…"
Sep 14
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"MARCHING TO THE BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUMMER: After 4 1/2 years of grief for my soul mate and the love of my life I have learned a lot about family, friends and society as a whole.  When our spouses pass away we are given the illusion that…"
Sep 14
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Gretchen ...  I hope you don't think I'm butting into your post to Linda, but my heart went out to you.  I found it so odd that I would remember 'it's been a month, a year, years since my beloved has passed' and…"
Sep 14
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Gretchen ...  Thank you for that beautiful quote and it's true!  I have discovered in myself throughout this 4 1/2 years of grief how strong I am and slowly getting my independence back.  The only step in grief I am having…"
Sep 14
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Georgia ...  Thank you so much for the compliment and I appreciate it.  I'm happy you enjoyed the poem and it fits with the angels on this forum.  I do love writing and throughout the years have had people tell me to write books,…"
Sep 14
Gretchen Goldhammer commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Found this quote while I was searching for quotes for my son's room.... Seems appropriate to maybe help us get through each day.   "Always remember: You are stronger than you seem, Braver than you believe, and Smarter than you…"
Sep 14
Gretchen Goldhammer commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"LInda, Thank you so much for your response.  Yesterday was the official 8 month mark, and your words couldn't have come at a better time.  Had quite a few break downs yesterday, but managed to get through.  And I've learned…"
Sep 14

Profile Information

Just a quick note to thank you all for supporting each other. When I started this I would have NEVER thought this group would grow this big and have the amount of activity that it does. It's great to see you all supporting and helping each other. With 3 jobs it is hard to spend as much time as I'd like but it's good to know I don't have to spend a lot of time here administering things. Just remember I'm around if you need me. When something gets posted I do get an email and I will respond as soon as I get that. Thank you all for taking care of each other and remembering your loved ones here.

Comment Wall (104 comments)

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At 11:08am on June 18, 2015, Cynthia Murphy said…

It has been a while since I have been here. My husband died 19 months ago after 17years of suffering from diabetes related problems. I didn't think I would ever get better but I have. Eight months into a horrible grief a friend called and asked me to come over, her brother was there. I dated her brother in high school. He had lost one of his sons in 2001 and grieving as much as I was. We've had so many discussions about what we have been through and where we are now.. We are dating now and loving life again. We still talk about our loved ones we lost but we remember with smiles and happy memories. I don't know what the future holds for me but I have to trust that God is leading me in the direction that was meant to be for the second half of my life.

At 2:19pm on September 1, 2014, Karen W said…

Joyce, welcome to the site.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband Ed almost 9 months ago and I have found myself back at this site often looking for comfort, encouragement, understanding, or just to vent my feelings.  Everyone here has been where you and I are and understands what we are going through.   I wish you strength for each new day. 

At 10:45am on September 1, 2014, Joyce M said…

I too am new to this site...and am not sure how to post a comment...I have read so many comments by others and have found some small measure of comfort knowing that what I am going thru is so normal...I lost my husband just 3 weeks ago and every day is so hard right now....

At 9:44am on May 26, 2013, Jan said…
How do I talk to people on this site? I posted and did a blog and no one responded. Maybe I didn't do it correctly.
At 9:02pm on December 7, 2012, Babs said…
I just realized I posted
I have read others post and it seems no matter whether the loss of our loved one is recent or years ago What I am feeling is what others have posted
I feel a large piece of my heart died when he did I feel like I have to be another person at work and then go home to our home we shared for 45 years and feel so alone I just crawl in bed and zone out to movies or sleep When I think about how much I miss him and being there when he took his last breath it's like I have to put my feelings away because its too hard to deal with them. I get mad then sad and cry I just want to go to sleep and wake up and he is back home with me. The question I have is I feel bad when other family members call with problems they are having or if they are sick. I feel like I can't handle it or be sympathetic and say the wrong thing to them. I really don't want to talk to others I feel bad I can't listen to there problems Does anyone else feel this way. I have always been the strong one helped others and was able to fix my problems. This grieving I can't fix me. I know everyone says it takes time but this is the worst thing to go thru and I don't feel I will ever be me again. I married Mike when I was 18. Moved from my patents house to be Mikes wife then became a mother and now 45 yrs later alone. I was always a wife and a mother never a me I don't know how to be me. Mike and I were friends too and did everything together I really don't have friends Sorry my post is so long. Mikes birthday is coming up then Xmas. Thanks for listening
At 8:40pm on December 7, 2012, Babs said…
Hi. I am new here how do I post a question My husband of 45 years passed away 10 months ago tonight I don't feel it will ever be better I miss so much. GOD BLESS EVERYONE
At 2:35am on September 13, 2012, Marilyn kroge said…
I am facing the 1st anniversary of the loss of my beloved Jim and I still can't accept that I am alone for the first time since I was 18 years old, almost 50 years with the same man and my only love. I wake in the night to sounds that I realize are coming from my very soul. I find myself calling out to him, begging him to please come back to me, that I can't go on without him and I can't stop the tears that won't stop and I don't want to stop the pain I feel because that would make it real, it would mean that I finally know that I will never feel his arms around me, that I'll never kiss him goodbye when he left each morning. This man I met for the first time and we knew that first meeting that love at first sight really happened and we were together from that moment until I kissed him and felt his last breath, warm and so amazing that I felt his breath as he closed his eyes and so quietly left me forever . I know how maudlin my words sound but I so need to finally tell someone of my pain. I'm not allowed to say any of this to my sons or anyone in my family. Their grief became anger and so this has been my life, alone and terribly hurt that no one wants to hear what I've said here where I feel safe sharing my deepest thoughts. Thank you......."m"
At 9:13pm on September 12, 2012, Margie Thrash said…

I am coming up on my second month without my rock (Scott) it is hard but I do have good friends that check up on me every night if I dont contact them so I am fortunate that way.  Had to already go thru his birthday without him was very hard to do.  Then we always did a 100 mile horse ride week of labor day did it this year by myself with a few friends and was hard but I did it.  Not a day goes by I dont cry.  One of his last text to me was please dont get depressed like I am right now (he had 3 months to live from diagnosis made it 3 1/2).  So I try to think of that text everytime it gets too bad and I go outside or work around the house and listen to alot of music.

At 2:21am on January 10, 2012, Rowe said…

Welcome to all new members. I Lost my first husband 31 yrs ago at the age of 38. Remaried 6 yrs later and lost my Late husband after 10 yrs. He has been gone for 15 years. I am living proof that after the grief, Life will go on.  Not at first, but about 5 yrs later you will be living again.. even though you thought it would never happen. I Recommend that you do not try to avoid the grief.. you have to deal with it because if you dont it will be waiting for you to come back. I am here for you if you need to vent, or just want someone to give you an ear.

At 5:40am on December 15, 2011, dawn m long said…

hi steve only a few more days till christmas .. Im here for ya

 luv dawn


Latest Conversations

Barbara Rieger left a comment for Heatha
Claretha Rice commented on Robbie Miller Kaplan's blog post No Cancer Is a Good Cancer
Claretha Rice posted a status
"I just read my post from Jan. 2013. Am I going backwards. It is the same as my recent post. I don't know what triggered this episode today."
Claretha Rice posted a status
"I lost my brother, mother and father 1 to 2 yrs. apart. My father 3 years ago. I am having the worst time right now. The posts are a help."


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