Steve Cain
  • 58, Male
  • Aurora, IL
  • United States

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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
11 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Steve, I just read the poem you posted. That too is beautiful and describes our grief in a way that resonates with me very much. And yes, love comes with a price, and we here are willing to pay the price, as steep as it may be. That's true…"
22 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Chicago Beard, Thanks for sharing this insightful poem with us. The poem puts into words beautifully that all/many of us on this site feel and live with daily. Yes, grief is something to endure, not to get over with it. I know my grief will remain…"
23 hours ago
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Carol That is exactly how I feel and what I tell my clients in psychotherapy who have lost loved ones."
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Christina ...  So true we can come on here and spill our guts to those that understand.  We all cope with grief in a different manner, but the basics are the same.  This forum kept my sanity throughout the tough years and still…"
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Steve ...  Thanks so much for that passage as it rings true for all of us. Hugs Marsha"
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Chicago Beard ...  Nice hearing from you and the poem said it all.  Thanks so much. Hugs Marsha"
Christina Marangolo commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I love that poem!  How true it is and a great reminder. "
Charles E. Nelson commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hello Chicago Beard, Yes indeed - this says it all - thank you for sharing. I needed some way to describe this new place I'm in to others, and now you have given me the perfect way to do it. Be well, Chuck "
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Grief never ends but it changes. It’s a passage not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness Nor a lack of faith…it is the price of love.” A price all of us would be willing to pay Don't remember who posted…"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Christina Marangolo commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Marsha, I get it - for me I really just need someone to spill my guts to...who gets it.  All the feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, etc.  You all understand.  Everyone else doesn't quite know what to say.  I mean, all of us…"
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Carol ... Sounds like you have a bit of a flu bug.  Take a Q-tip and warm oil and gently clean your ears out.  Also put your hair dryer on low on warm and let it blow into your ear and it does work.  I have had this problem…"
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Christina ... I'm so happy you have made plans for 3 trips and I know you will enjoy yourself.  I am hoping to go to Vegas for 4 days with a girlfriend, but that won't be until September.  I need a holiday badly and to see…"
Christina Marangolo commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Oh Gretchen, Thank you for replying.   I guess I'm back & forth about coming to terms if I really need to talk to someone.  Once the kids got settled into the school year and Christmas came & went, things started to settle…"
Gretchen Goldhammer commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Chuck, Thank you so much. You are always so kind!"

Profile Information

Just a quick note to thank you all for supporting each other. When I started this I would have NEVER thought this group would grow this big and have the amount of activity that it does. It's great to see you all supporting and helping each other. With 3 jobs it is hard to spend as much time as I'd like but it's good to know I don't have to spend a lot of time here administering things. Just remember I'm around if you need me. When something gets posted I do get an email and I will respond as soon as I get that. Thank you all for taking care of each other and remembering your loved ones here.

Comment Wall (104 comments)

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At 11:08am on June 18, 2015, Cynthia Murphy said…

It has been a while since I have been here. My husband died 19 months ago after 17years of suffering from diabetes related problems. I didn't think I would ever get better but I have. Eight months into a horrible grief a friend called and asked me to come over, her brother was there. I dated her brother in high school. He had lost one of his sons in 2001 and grieving as much as I was. We've had so many discussions about what we have been through and where we are now.. We are dating now and loving life again. We still talk about our loved ones we lost but we remember with smiles and happy memories. I don't know what the future holds for me but I have to trust that God is leading me in the direction that was meant to be for the second half of my life.

At 2:19pm on September 1, 2014, Karen W said…

Joyce, welcome to the site.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband Ed almost 9 months ago and I have found myself back at this site often looking for comfort, encouragement, understanding, or just to vent my feelings.  Everyone here has been where you and I are and understands what we are going through.   I wish you strength for each new day. 

At 10:45am on September 1, 2014, Joyce M said…

I too am new to this site...and am not sure how to post a comment...I have read so many comments by others and have found some small measure of comfort knowing that what I am going thru is so normal...I lost my husband just 3 weeks ago and every day is so hard right now....

At 9:44am on May 26, 2013, Jan said…
How do I talk to people on this site? I posted and did a blog and no one responded. Maybe I didn't do it correctly.
At 9:02pm on December 7, 2012, Babs said…
I just realized I posted
I have read others post and it seems no matter whether the loss of our loved one is recent or years ago What I am feeling is what others have posted
I feel a large piece of my heart died when he did I feel like I have to be another person at work and then go home to our home we shared for 45 years and feel so alone I just crawl in bed and zone out to movies or sleep When I think about how much I miss him and being there when he took his last breath it's like I have to put my feelings away because its too hard to deal with them. I get mad then sad and cry I just want to go to sleep and wake up and he is back home with me. The question I have is I feel bad when other family members call with problems they are having or if they are sick. I feel like I can't handle it or be sympathetic and say the wrong thing to them. I really don't want to talk to others I feel bad I can't listen to there problems Does anyone else feel this way. I have always been the strong one helped others and was able to fix my problems. This grieving I can't fix me. I know everyone says it takes time but this is the worst thing to go thru and I don't feel I will ever be me again. I married Mike when I was 18. Moved from my patents house to be Mikes wife then became a mother and now 45 yrs later alone. I was always a wife and a mother never a me I don't know how to be me. Mike and I were friends too and did everything together I really don't have friends Sorry my post is so long. Mikes birthday is coming up then Xmas. Thanks for listening
At 8:40pm on December 7, 2012, Babs said…
Hi. I am new here how do I post a question My husband of 45 years passed away 10 months ago tonight I don't feel it will ever be better I miss so much. GOD BLESS EVERYONE
At 2:35am on September 13, 2012, Marilyn kroge said…
I am facing the 1st anniversary of the loss of my beloved Jim and I still can't accept that I am alone for the first time since I was 18 years old, almost 50 years with the same man and my only love. I wake in the night to sounds that I realize are coming from my very soul. I find myself calling out to him, begging him to please come back to me, that I can't go on without him and I can't stop the tears that won't stop and I don't want to stop the pain I feel because that would make it real, it would mean that I finally know that I will never feel his arms around me, that I'll never kiss him goodbye when he left each morning. This man I met for the first time and we knew that first meeting that love at first sight really happened and we were together from that moment until I kissed him and felt his last breath, warm and so amazing that I felt his breath as he closed his eyes and so quietly left me forever . I know how maudlin my words sound but I so need to finally tell someone of my pain. I'm not allowed to say any of this to my sons or anyone in my family. Their grief became anger and so this has been my life, alone and terribly hurt that no one wants to hear what I've said here where I feel safe sharing my deepest thoughts. Thank you......."m"
At 9:13pm on September 12, 2012, Margie Thrash said…

I am coming up on my second month without my rock (Scott) it is hard but I do have good friends that check up on me every night if I dont contact them so I am fortunate that way.  Had to already go thru his birthday without him was very hard to do.  Then we always did a 100 mile horse ride week of labor day did it this year by myself with a few friends and was hard but I did it.  Not a day goes by I dont cry.  One of his last text to me was please dont get depressed like I am right now (he had 3 months to live from diagnosis made it 3 1/2).  So I try to think of that text everytime it gets too bad and I go outside or work around the house and listen to alot of music.

At 2:21am on January 10, 2012, Rowe said…

Welcome to all new members. I Lost my first husband 31 yrs ago at the age of 38. Remaried 6 yrs later and lost my Late husband after 10 yrs. He has been gone for 15 years. I am living proof that after the grief, Life will go on.  Not at first, but about 5 yrs later you will be living again.. even though you thought it would never happen. I Recommend that you do not try to avoid the grief.. you have to deal with it because if you dont it will be waiting for you to come back. I am here for you if you need to vent, or just want someone to give you an ear.

At 5:40am on December 15, 2011, dawn m long said…

hi steve only a few more days till christmas .. Im here for ya

 luv dawn


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