Steve Cain
  • 61, Male
  • Aurora, IL
  • United States
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Diane C commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"That was beautiful Steve. Thank you!"
Friday
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"If you want to help a person in grief, accept you can’t just remove their heartache By even trying to ease someone’s pain, you are telling them you believe it to be fixable. Loss is never fixable. Grief is never erasable. So simply walk…"
Oct 11
Sara Murphy commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Deb......Yes, I too think the second year is hard.  For me, I feel like it's withdrawals...Ken has been gone long enough and I just need him back now.  It could be that the first year is a blur. "
Oct 9
Sheri Dettman commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Deborah, I agree about the 2nd year. The first year you are just reacting. My fog hasn't completely lifted but I do feel more clear. It doesn't make it any easier. I recently joined a couple of online groups that have a lot of members that…"
Oct 8
deborah peck commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Does anyone else think the 2nd year is worse than the first in someways? I don't know if its because the fog has finally lifted or the reality has kicked in but it seems harder to me"
Oct 8
Sara Murphy commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Deb.....It really would be wonderful if people would just do those things.  Unfortunately most people think saying "call me if you need anything" is sufficient and they only really mean it for the first few months after the…"
Oct 7
deborah peck commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"no one has ever done that for me but I have done it for others, giving is a powerful healer"
Oct 5
Mary. Jane commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Well said, Deborah. I would have never thought of that, since I don,t drive. Did someone do that for you? That is a wonderful thing.  I have just learned, a group have friends I used to work with, have rallied around another former…"
Oct 5
deborah peck commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"dear Marsha, I think your friend doesn't contact you because she sees her husbands own mortality when she talks to you and that is hard.I know how it feels to lose people after your husband passes but its been from me, I chose not to return…"
Oct 5
deborah peck commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I think it would be great for people to just act when someone passes, by that I mean show up months later to clean your house, just sit and have coffee, fix a meal, its random acts of kindness that we need not being told how sorry they are, we need…"
Oct 5
Mary. Jane commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Marsha, I mean this in the kindest way..but I loved your rant!  Thank you for sharing...now I know I am not crazy..(well, a little crazy,,lol) yes, the entire week has been weird...but yesterday seemed to b the culmination. I am with you my…"
Oct 5
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I've had a whole weird week!  First the two banks I deal with suddenly changed the numbers on my phone account where  I pay bills from and a new code, but never contacted me about it.  This couple Ernie and I were close to have…"
Oct 5
Mary. Jane commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Oh Sara..it wasn,t till BOb died that I understood the silence of others...as I used to be one of those people...at complate loss of words. Afraid I would say the wrong thing, cuz I had no idea what would bring the grieving person comfort, OR what…"
Oct 4
Sara Murphy commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"My aversion to that new show isn't so much the suicide part but as Deb says, the spouse dying part.   I remember one of the commercials had one of the characters saying "what do you say to someone who just lost their…"
Oct 4
Mary. Jane commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Ok, kids this is a very strange question...but in my world..TODAY has been extra WEIRD! Ya know those days when everything seems out of place, or everything seems to go wrong? Well,for me, today was one of the strangest days ever... i know this has…"
Oct 4
deborah peck commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I cant watch anything that involves a spouse dying, its just too hard and I end up crying"
Oct 4

Profile Information

Just a quick note to thank you all for supporting each other. When I started this I would have NEVER thought this group would grow this big and have the amount of activity that it does. It's great to see you all supporting and helping each other. With 3 jobs it is hard to spend as much time as I'd like but it's good to know I don't have to spend a lot of time here administering things. Just remember I'm around if you need me. When something gets posted I do get an email and I will respond as soon as I get that. Thank you all for taking care of each other and remembering your loved ones here.

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At 9:10am on August 12, 2017, Joanne Dobrow said…

My Jack was my world. It has been eight months since I lost him and yes somehow you go on but I will always be half of me. I have lost half of what made me me.

At 11:08am on June 18, 2015, Cynthia Murphy said…

It has been a while since I have been here. My husband died 19 months ago after 17years of suffering from diabetes related problems. I didn't think I would ever get better but I have. Eight months into a horrible grief a friend called and asked me to come over, her brother was there. I dated her brother in high school. He had lost one of his sons in 2001 and grieving as much as I was. We've had so many discussions about what we have been through and where we are now.. We are dating now and loving life again. We still talk about our loved ones we lost but we remember with smiles and happy memories. I don't know what the future holds for me but I have to trust that God is leading me in the direction that was meant to be for the second half of my life.

At 2:19pm on September 1, 2014, Karen W said…

Joyce, welcome to the site.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband Ed almost 9 months ago and I have found myself back at this site often looking for comfort, encouragement, understanding, or just to vent my feelings.  Everyone here has been where you and I are and understands what we are going through.   I wish you strength for each new day. 

At 10:45am on September 1, 2014, Joyce M said…

I too am new to this site...and am not sure how to post a comment...I have read so many comments by others and have found some small measure of comfort knowing that what I am going thru is so normal...I lost my husband just 3 weeks ago and every day is so hard right now....

At 9:44am on May 26, 2013, Jan said…
How do I talk to people on this site? I posted and did a blog and no one responded. Maybe I didn't do it correctly.
At 9:02pm on December 7, 2012, Babs said…
I just realized I posted
I have read others post and it seems no matter whether the loss of our loved one is recent or years ago What I am feeling is what others have posted
I feel a large piece of my heart died when he did I feel like I have to be another person at work and then go home to our home we shared for 45 years and feel so alone I just crawl in bed and zone out to movies or sleep When I think about how much I miss him and being there when he took his last breath it's like I have to put my feelings away because its too hard to deal with them. I get mad then sad and cry I just want to go to sleep and wake up and he is back home with me. The question I have is I feel bad when other family members call with problems they are having or if they are sick. I feel like I can't handle it or be sympathetic and say the wrong thing to them. I really don't want to talk to others I feel bad I can't listen to there problems Does anyone else feel this way. I have always been the strong one helped others and was able to fix my problems. This grieving I can't fix me. I know everyone says it takes time but this is the worst thing to go thru and I don't feel I will ever be me again. I married Mike when I was 18. Moved from my patents house to be Mikes wife then became a mother and now 45 yrs later alone. I was always a wife and a mother never a me I don't know how to be me. Mike and I were friends too and did everything together I really don't have friends Sorry my post is so long. Mikes birthday is coming up then Xmas. Thanks for listening
At 8:40pm on December 7, 2012, Babs said…
Hi. I am new here how do I post a question My husband of 45 years passed away 10 months ago tonight I don't feel it will ever be better I miss so much. GOD BLESS EVERYONE
At 2:35am on September 13, 2012, Marilyn kroge said…
I am facing the 1st anniversary of the loss of my beloved Jim and I still can't accept that I am alone for the first time since I was 18 years old, almost 50 years with the same man and my only love. I wake in the night to sounds that I realize are coming from my very soul. I find myself calling out to him, begging him to please come back to me, that I can't go on without him and I can't stop the tears that won't stop and I don't want to stop the pain I feel because that would make it real, it would mean that I finally know that I will never feel his arms around me, that I'll never kiss him goodbye when he left each morning. This man I met for the first time and we knew that first meeting that love at first sight really happened and we were together from that moment until I kissed him and felt his last breath, warm and so amazing that I felt his breath as he closed his eyes and so quietly left me forever . I know how maudlin my words sound but I so need to finally tell someone of my pain. I'm not allowed to say any of this to my sons or anyone in my family. Their grief became anger and so this has been my life, alone and terribly hurt that no one wants to hear what I've said here where I feel safe sharing my deepest thoughts. Thank you......."m"
At 9:13pm on September 12, 2012, Margie Thrash said…

I am coming up on my second month without my rock (Scott) it is hard but I do have good friends that check up on me every night if I dont contact them so I am fortunate that way.  Had to already go thru his birthday without him was very hard to do.  Then we always did a 100 mile horse ride week of labor day did it this year by myself with a few friends and was hard but I did it.  Not a day goes by I dont cry.  One of his last text to me was please dont get depressed like I am right now (he had 3 months to live from diagnosis made it 3 1/2).  So I try to think of that text everytime it gets too bad and I go outside or work around the house and listen to alot of music.

At 2:21am on January 10, 2012, Rowe said…

Welcome to all new members. I Lost my first husband 31 yrs ago at the age of 38. Remaried 6 yrs later and lost my Late husband after 10 yrs. He has been gone for 15 years. I am living proof that after the grief, Life will go on.  Not at first, but about 5 yrs later you will be living again.. even though you thought it would never happen. I Recommend that you do not try to avoid the grief.. you have to deal with it because if you dont it will be waiting for you to come back. I am here for you if you need to vent, or just want someone to give you an ear.

 
 
 

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