Thank you Sue. How long does it take to find some peace. I go through the motions of life but with a constant pit in my stomach. I find respite in my famil but they even don't understand the depth of my pain. My children need to have their own lives but I still need them so desperately because it helps not to feel so alone. How have you moved on? I know it will never go away. i have a friend whose husband died 10 years ago and she still sleeps with his robe. I'm so tired of this nightmare. Thank you again for your thoughts. I know I'm not alone in this and I believe it's so important to encourage each other. some days I think my life has ended.