Susan Fuller
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  • MO
  • United States
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At 4:24pm on June 23, 2010, Susan Fuller said…
Fathers day was especially difficult for me. My dad died 3/6/10 and I am feeling really depressed. I kept thinking prior to Father's day that I needed to go out and buy his card/present...only to snap back to reality knowing he is is gone. Next I have his birthday coming up in August. It feels like it is never ending...the reminders of him being gone. Unlike other people's comments that I've read here...I don't feel comforted going to his grave. It just feels empty there. I haven't had any feelings of him 'watching' over me or anything. I'm glad for those that feel the above but sad that I don't feel any comfort other than he isn't in pain anymore. Death is such a finality here on earth!
At 4:13pm on June 4, 2010, Susan Fuller said…
I am feeling very sad today.....thinking about my day who passed away 3/6/10. Memorial day was very tough for me.
At 10:53am on May 4, 2010, Susan Fuller said…
I am missing my dad so much that it hurts. My mom seems to be getting worse instead of better. I don't know what to do for her other then be there for her when she needs me. I pray that God will give me strength to deal with all of this!
At 6:33pm on April 14, 2010, Wayne Brown said…
Susan, you said that you are "relying on time healing" the pain you feel over losing your dad. I guess everyone's grief is different and I won't presume to guess how long that healing time will be for you, but as someone who went through it myself, I'm sure that time will come. Tomorrow would have been my dad's 88th birthday. I lost him 30 years ago, in May 1980, on the day I graduated from college. The sense of loss has never gone completely away, but long ago the acute pain faded and became a sort of wistful sadness. It saddens me that he didn't live long enough to meet my wife or his grandsons, but over the years I took comfort in telling them about him and in noticing things in my boys that reminded me of him. When I think of him now I remember special moments in my childhood when he and I did little things together, things that didn't seem like a big deal then but which I now treasure as reminders of the love he showed me. I will always miss him, but for many years now, thinking of him brings much more joy than sadness. I'm sure you will reach that point too, in your own way and in your own time.

Since you mentioned that your faith in God is helping you deal with your loss, I'd like to recommend a book by C.S. Lewis (author of the "Chronicles of Narnia" stories) called "A Grief Observed." It's based on a notebook he kept in the days following the death of his beloved wife Joy, and shows how he struggled with his grief and doubts, and how his faith eventually helped him to get through them. It gave me a lot of insight into my own feelings after losing my dad, and then my mom exactly 19 years and one day later.
At 8:37pm on April 12, 2010, Susan Fuller said…
I am missing my dad. It has been 37 days and my mom got a letter today that said his stone will be ready in 4-6 weeks. I just want his stone to be on his grave soon. It looks so sad.
At 1:35pm on April 12, 2010, Susan Fuller said…
Feeling pretty blue today. Dad died March 6th and it seems like time is passing so fast. I went to his grave last Friday because he still doesn't have his stone and the grave had settled a good 6 inches. Just looked so sad and depressing. Thankfully, they had fixed his grave. To me it is weird how life goes on for everyone as it should but....All I can think is.... "It's been 5 weeks and it feels like yesterday that I lost my dad". I'm really relying on time healing.
At 10:05am on April 5, 2010, Susan Fuller said…
Just got through our 1st holiday without my father being there. It was sad but we did manage to have a wonderful holiday because all 30 of us managed to get together!
At 9:38pm on April 2, 2010, Colleen N Murphy said…
Hi Susan, my prayers are with you and will continue to be. God, have your grace on Susan and her G-daughter & all right now and thank you for your grace and your Word. I still have my dad, pretty healthy, just lost my 1st born daughter, 29 in Iraq. 11.04.09 K I I. So, I can only know that pain and cringe at the time I lose my dad. There are no words, prayer is a comfort to reach the soul and helps to smile at the good memories and happy times. Our worlds will never be the same and I ask Amy what to do next....talk to your Dad,,,then listen...Bless You xxxooo bwj
At 8:07am on March 30, 2010, Susan Fuller said…
It has been 24 days since I lost my dad. I think of him each and every day. Some days are worse than others as far as not being able to control my tears. My beautiful 12 year old granddaughter tried to commit suicide last week. I don't know how much more I can bear emotionally. My faith in GOD and support from my family are the only things keeping me going.
At 8:18am on March 23, 2010, Susan Fuller said…
It has been 16 days since my dad died. I am feeling so lost today. His last day with us was horrible and I keep replaying it in my mind. I am at work today so I have to keep myself together which is very difficult. I know that my dad is in a better place and out of pain but.....I don't feel him around me and that makes me sad. Whoever reads this...please have a little prayer for me today.
 
 
 

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