susan just wanted to know there is another mom here feeling this pain and thoughts and longing and emptyiness. he is so handsome you were lucky to have him as i my son. they did exist that is what the one poem says.. the poems were kind of neat on e about a black box and one about the dash the dash between death and birth and that was the most important thing in life... take care carrie L

Hi Susan................my name is Susan, too. I understand the pain of losing your xon, as my son died in a motorcycle accident. It will be 4 years for me on the 29th of October. Although I know in my heart that he's gone, even after 4 years, it is so hard to accept. He was only 30, and a week away from getting married. I have an older son and a younger daughter to help me, and my husband, who isn't my kids father, does what he can to help. I thank God for all of them. October 29 is also my husband's birthday, so I expect it will be a bittersweet day.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, as are all who come here.

Susan, I know your pain, I grieve along with you. The hardest thing ever in my life was to lose my son. I know what it is like to go shopping and not want to be there, I don't know why that is, but it is. Everyday is a struggle for me, as I am sure it is for you. I live with a broken heart everyday, just waiting for God to mend it, I pray that He will mend yours also. Sincerely, Cheryl

Susan, I know your pain, I grieve along with you. The hardest thing ever in my life was to lose my son. I know what it is like to go shopping and not want to be there, I don't know why that is, but it is. Everyday is a struggle for me, as I am sure it is for you. I live with a broken heart everyday, just waiting for God to mend it, I pray that He will mend yours also. Sincerely, Cheryl

Oh Susan, what a horrible horrible thing to have happened. I wonder if you might be able to take comfort in knowing that if he was resting, he did not have time to be afraid. He went from resting with us, to resting with God, with no terror in between. I know that I often wonder what Jake thought in those last seconds of his life...as he was sailing through the air, hitting the trees...Gosh it makes me sick to even think about it...The ache in my heart always stops me from completely finishing that thought because I don't think I could bear it if he was scared, if he felt any pain, if he wanted me or his dad....I don't know, just a thought. You are lucky that you have other children to take care of. You will do what you have to do to make Christmas special for them, and I know you will cry in your heart, on the inside...I understand completely. I have decided this year on Christmas I am going to stay home, visit Jake and my husband Steve at the cemetery in the morning, and nothing else. I am not going away, I am not doing a tree, or a dinner or anything else at all. I am going to do what I want to do and not worry about anyone else's feelings. If I want to cry I will, if I want to sleep I will, if I want to lay on the couch all day and do nothing I will...I don't think I could pretend that I was having fun as someone else's house, knowing what I am missing at my own. Anyway, I am happy to hear from you, and hope I can help you in some way....regardless, I am hear to listen anytime.

Susan, Thank you. I too am sorry for your loss. I read your original post before I saw the one you left on my page and was trying to come up with a way to write something that might help you. I guess I am thinking it is different for you because of the circumstances of your sons death...the worry and anxiety you must have felt when he joined the military during war time...long before he was KIA, and the grief you now have to go through because your son was fighting for all of us, and lost his life. A true Hero. I personally cannot thank you enough for raising such a wonderful young man who sacrificed his life for all Americans. But, when all is said and done, he is gone, and you miss him terribly....that is something I can relate to. Holidays are going to be hard, I can't tell you any secret to get through them other than to try and do what your son would want for you and your family. If you have read any of my other posts, you might notice that I use the word "survive" a lot. I think it way more than I say it....Mom's are survivors....we do what needs to be done even if we don't want to....This is something you will survive Susan one day at a time..... Come to this site often, and share anything you are thinking....you will be amazed how many others will know exactly what you mean, and just knowing you are not alone will make a difference.

Sorry for the lost of your son. You will find comfort in this website full of Moms that know exactly what you are feeling. So handsome, so young and protecting all of us in this country.
Holidays approaching are scaring all of us....at least we can all talk in this website....
Hugs to you and your family.

Dear Susan,

I cannot put into words how sorry I am about the loss of your precious son.
It will be two years for us in January. I still cannot believe that he is not here.
A friend shared this quote with me a few weeks ago. . .
"If Love could have kept them here. . .They would have Lived Forever.

Please know many people care.

Diane Dillon
Greensboro NC
Always Always Proud Mom of Philip Dillon Lean