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In Memory of my Mom (Ella Mae 4/10/47 - 09/01/04)

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Tamarah1271's Blog

Hi Mommy

Posted on April 29, 2011 at 8:34am 0 Comments

Hi Mommy,


Nothing much going on other than I am tired today but I know you know that already. I don't know why I am not sleeping this week. I don't know why my soul is so restless this week. I feel like I should be doing something but I don't know what. It's sort of weird and I don't quite understand it but I feel something.


I love you and I miss you dearly. You knew and understood me so well. When I look at Nah'zaire I only pray I can be half the Mom to him…


Missing my Mom

Posted on January 28, 2010 at 8:34am 0 Comments

Mommy, I love you more each day. I miss you terribly. I need you but GOD wanted you ... Rest peacefully my "Ladybug" in HIS presence.

You were the best mother anyone could ever have, you were so loving, thoughtful, strong and you were everything to me. I hope I can someday be as great as you!

always your baby girl...

Just thinking....

Posted on January 22, 2010 at 8:30am 1 Comment

Today I am going to see a hand surgeon because I have developed De Querviens tendonitis in both hands.... I have actually had it for 2 yrs. but it's getting worse and now I need to make a decision.

I realized other than having my son that if I decide to have the surgery my Mom will not be here to comfort me. I won't be able to go and lay in bed with her and be the big baby I always was in her presence.

My sister has been like a mother to me. We were so young when my Mom… Continue

Not doing so well today!

Posted on January 21, 2010 at 8:30am 1 Comment

Today I need my Mom... i just want to talk to her and tell how much I love her. Today I just want to be in her presence so I feel a little sad.

As I am typing I am thinking of some of our happier times and it's making me laugh so hard inside. We were all so silly and funny at times. I will get through this day... just knowing my Mom loves me and GOD loves me too. Together they are pushing and encouranging me to smile and laugh today. I know she does not want me wallowing over her… Continue

A push in the right step

Posted on January 20, 2010 at 8:13am 0 Comments

Mommy I love you and miss you more than tears, or words can ever describe. You were everything to me and without you I feel so lost but I feel you watching me and encouraging me to move forward .... thank you!!

Today I feel a little better, thanks to this forum. I am wondering why I did'nt think of joining sooner but I guess I wasn't ready for any kind of help. I felt I needed and could deal with this on my own. I have now opened my heart and mind to allowing others to help me. Here… Continue

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At 6:49pm on September 3, 2011, Stewart said…

Hi tamarah,

Just loggin in to see what is happening and I have noticed that you have been very quiet recently, as have I and with time on my hands I thought it would be nice to catch up with you. you might not know but my friend here is a Jehovah's Witness she sure would love to hear from you if you would like to drop her a message she sure would welcome you.doreen2@live.co.uk She is very busy over here.


At 1:11pm on May 23, 2011, Stewart said…

Hi tamarah, nice to here from you again . I have been having terrible trouble with my internet connection as bt were updating there service and knocked me out of broadband. It has been a terrible time without it . It has struck me in a way that was unexpected . without my network i felt isolated and alone. but now that i have managed to get connected again all is well again . "WELL" as one can be i guess. so sorry for not getting back to you I do miss your thoughtfull and trully uplifting messages.  take care and hope that all is proggressing well for you . thoughts and wishes to you tamarha .

best wishes stewart..

At 4:00pm on May 17, 2011, Warren Washington said…

Well yes I am one of Jehovah's Witness and thank you for your condolences as well. It's okay to have a different views I was just trying to share with you the comfort I received from God's word the Bible not my own opinion.


Out of curiosity I was wondering why did you ask about my faith.  

At 11:10am on May 17, 2011, Chelle said…

Hi Miss Tamarah,


I send you my condolences. I can't imagine loosing my mom. Mine actually lost her own mother to brain cancer. She recovered fine, the doctors said "no stress" unfortunately she returned home to her husband. A stressful environment no doubt. And the cancer came back and took her away. My mom talks about her still, ( of course). We look forward to seeing her again. Do you also think you'll see your mom again?

 Take care 

At 6:18pm on May 16, 2011, Warren Washington said…

Hello how are you? My name is Warren. I would like to express my condolences to you. I lost my dad in 2002 and that pain was unbearable for me. I felt physically sick to my stomach but I was able to find comfort in God's word the Bible.


Death is such a hard pill to swallow I know from personal experiences. I would like to share with you what I found out about the dead and what happens to us when we die and hope for our dead love ones.The dead are shown to be “conscious of nothing at all” and the death state to be one of complete inactivity. (Ec 9:5, 10; Ps 146:4) Those dying are described as going into “the dust of death” (Ps 22:15), becoming “impotent in death.” (Pr 2:18; Isa 26:14) I'm hoping you this helps you find comfort in your lost as I have please feel free to ask any question you may have and I'll be more then happy to share with you what I know. Take care. In both the Hebrew and the Greek Scriptures, death is likened to sleep, a fitting comparison not only because of the unconscious condition of the dead but also because of the hope of an awakening through the resurrection. (Ps 13:3; Joh 11:11-14) The resurrected Jesus is spoken of as “the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep in death.”—1Co 15:20, 21


At 10:23pm on April 29, 2011, Vanessa H said…

Hi T,


No it was a good cry (smile) I was taken to a good spiritual place so it's definately all good.   Thank you for your offer to have an open ear and trust me I know I will be taking you up on that. At the same time I want this new found friendship to be reciprocated so I also want you to feel comfortable talking to me as well if the need be.


For me to come to this site I feel is a good and positive thing because it helps me sift through a number of emotions... I dont have a support system where I live (Bermuda) at all.  My mother was my only connection here and that is a part of why we were so close because we had each other.


I have family but they are all in the U.S.A. and unfortunately as it so often happens, everyone has basically scattered off and pretty much doing their own thing these days since the death of my grandmother over five years ago.  She was that one person that kept everybody connected. 


I have always been one of those people who had the attitude that some times you have to create your own family no matter where you are. That has not happend here due to the dynamics of this island. Lets just say people here are definately a different breed.


I would really like to think my mom is always here with me but since her passing I have not felt her presence. She is always on my mind but, I dont know. I sometimes wonder if I am looking for the typical sterotype of an image of her that people speak of or a vision. I have had dreams about her but I guess the important thing is she will always be in my heart and to some degree still very much alive through the presence of me.


I see that you have a sister and that is great that you have each other for support. Do you have any other siblingss

Here is my email nabotg@yahoo.com and in closing, you have helped someone today so your deed has been done.  Take Care

At 10:12pm on April 28, 2011, Vanessa H said…

Tamarah.....  All I can say at this moment is that when I read you response all I could do was cry... I'm reading your post on my page and all I can feel is such a strong positive energy.. Thank you so much for all your kind words and your prays...  I am glad to be able to connect with someone who understand what it's like to be so close to a mother and have that bond severed by the thing called death that is so permanent.  I have two children ( twins ) and my mom was able to meet them and spend a short time with them but I look at them everyday and wish she was around to see them now that they are getting older and really developing their little personalities... Yes I know exactly what you mean by the little things that happen and wanting advice whe you need it most.... There will indeed always be that ache of not having them around but I really believe that a higher power puts us in peoples lives and their presence for a reason.. I am glad that we are crossing paths at this time... I will keep you in my thoughts and prays too T... Take care and please keep in touch...





At 1:13pm on April 25, 2011, Stewart said…

how nice it has been to hear from you, I do hope that you are keeping well and that you are doing ok, I am working a lot these days to keep my mind off things and when I do have time off I tend to think of her a lot I have got to say I do still think of her as in the fact that she is still here and that maybe tomorrow I will see her again. deep down I guess that I will never see her again but that is such a crock that I dont belive but will get on with life best I can .


ok me is off to check this and that. stewart.x

At 1:13pm on April 25, 2011, Stewart said…

how nice it has been to hear from you, I do hope that you are keeping well and that you are doing ok, I am working a lot these days to keep my mind off things and when I do have time off I tend to think of her a lot I have got to say I do still think of her as in the fact that she is still here and that maybe tomorrow I will see her again. deep down I guess that I will never see her again but that is such a crock that I dont belive but will get on with life best I can .


ok me is off to check this and that. stewart.x

At 11:28pm on April 21, 2011, Stewart said…

Thank you for your message tamarah, as I was reading your message it brought back to me that time that I had woke in a hot sweat with such panic and the realisation that my mum was to pass over it was the strangest thing ever as my mum was still here and all was well but sadly it was not to be a few days after that my mum passed away in her sleep. so there must have been a connection there some place telling me that I had to reach out to mum, but still to this day I think if only I could have done something to prevent this as I knew before hand but never said it to my mum as it might have frigtened her. but sure enough when my mum did pass I just new even before I got the call to say that she passed early in the morning .


I am Glad that the opperation has gone well with you and you are feeling mutch better it is realy nice to chat with one that does share the same feelings as I do about my mum as you do about your mom.

thank you again take care stewart.


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