Terri's Groups

loss of a parent

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At 12:16am on March 28, 2010, Stewart said…: Terri , Please Please Do not send your letter via e-mail.
Please hand right the letter. If you send the letter in a e-mail it will be all to easily for your mother to trash that e-mail even before she see's what it say's.

And if you right a letter it will not be dismissed so easily.
It may be true that she will not want to read it once she knows who the letter is from, But this simple little letter is a hand of freindship and it will show your mother that you have taken the time and comitment to have her back in your life. she may read the letter and may feel anger , hurt, lost as to what to do next, The key thing is not to push so quickly so readily. But do continue to right the letters, and if you wish you can add contact details so she may reply to your letter. but be prepaired not to have a reply qiuckly or not even at all. But you must be strong at this point keep it together and right more letters.
If you feel that it will help send letters to the other family members.

At 12:02am on March 28, 2010, Stewart said…: Terri, I feel for the loss you are feeling and the struggles that you are going through, But you are to be comended in keeping it together so well in the face of such adversity.Terri my father passed in 2007 And I was not ready for what was to follow, the breakdowns, the greif, the anger, the pain, the many questions of why and what could I do better, but this is something that you are never going to get over. But for me to remember the good times is what keeps him alive for me. I am so very saddened by the family situation that you find yourself in and the heartach and pain that you are feeling is of someone that is careing and of a good heart. If you know how your mother is feeling and think that you can't win her heart back, try and try, and try, and if this fails think from deep inside yourself and ask why does she not wish to have you in her life. what is it that she is saddened by and if you are able to overcome this fact then you will have a better chance of being back in her life once more.
Please terri on the fact that you are not getting along with your mother there is a deep pain that your mother has been holding onto and is only trying to keep from being hurt once more, If you are able to overcome this you and your mother can become close once more.
make arrangements with yourself and take some time to think about what it is that has keept that pain in your mothers heart, and once you have come to terms with this go to see your mother and explaine all the things you wish to say to her. If you feel that you are not able to do this in person and your mother feels the same I urge you to send a letter explaining everything you would like to say and express to her.
If she still will not have it, then keep sending those letters and if she still will not reply seek out one of your family members that will be willing to help.

At 10:00pm on March 27, 2010, Billinda said…: Terri,
Bless your heart! You have really been through some difficult decisions and encounters lately! I have a few suggestions, but think we need to email privately. Why don't I give you my email and you can email me yours, and I think I have a few suggestions that might help....before it is too late! You hang in there, girl, and try to think of happy thoughts and times until we can email privately. You will be in all of my thoughts and prayers! God Bless You!
Linda
email: billindainokc@cox.net

At 7:04pm on March 27, 2010, Terri said…: I have a situation I'm not sure how to handle. I lost my father Dec 23rd. Before that, I became estranged from my mother who is very ill. I have tried to get back into my mother's life but she will not have it. When I lost my father, I was sent a hateful e-mail from my mother about not going to the funeral because I was sick and dad and I were not that close. My parents divorced 35 years ago so I didn't think it was her place to do so. She could have at least sent a card. I feel bad about not attending the funeral but there were other family members I did not want to see and I feel the funeral is for the living. My mother's health is bad and she has turned the whole family against me. After my father passed, she said she would not have anyone call me upon her death. To make matters more stressful, my son is getting married and I have had a falling out with her and her family. There is so much going on, I don't even know I am making sense here. I just feel overwhelmed, my faith is gone, and I don't know how to have closure on a mother that will die but I will not be informed.