Tina, My whole thing is to try my best to have no regrets. Of course we are human so we're bound to make mistakes, but all we can do is is all we can do; tomorrow we might see another way that we didn't see before. That's life. Sorry about your inlaws, mine are honestly among the worst. As for Christians, I am a believer/follower of Christ~ not a fan of "religion" per say & definitly not a fan of in your face hypocrites! As I said, none of us are perfect, but don't preach at me & lie to my face in the same breathe! BUT, I couldn't survive all this without my faith, my bible & my true Christian friends. HUGS & Healing, Christy
I just read your post & wish you the best. Two months seems like forever on one hand & mere moments on the other- heck, that's how it still feels for me after over 6 months. It's awful how people are judging us, when they just don't know what it's like. Your father in law could have offered to stay overnight with your husband if he was so concerned about you being 15 minutes away at night, but did he? Did anyone? You did what you thought was best at the time & that's all any of us can do. You gave the shirts to him like your husband would've done so that's a good thing. But, I know you feel betrayed & wish you hadn't gave them to him. When my husband died, I thought his brother was going to be the good guy he always claimed to be- a Christian, HA! I was going to give him a couple of things that I thought he'd want of Larry's, but I'm so glad I didn't do it. He will get nothing from me. I haven't let 1 thing go. When I'm ready I will pack up things for his son, but that's it. You take care of you & your son & ignore the rest.
Tina, do not worry about the long comment. I am glad you told me about your husband. I too have a lot of issues with Neal's doctors. The more I think about it the madder I get. Do not ever worry about any comments you make on here or how long they are. I am still kind of new to this site, but so far it seems that everyone understands how you feel, some more than others, but everyone who has commented to me has been nice. We need this site to vent our feelings. So don't worry. Glad you wrote back. HUGS
Tina, I kiss Neal's picture every morning and tell him good morning. I talk to him aloud and I have a picture of him in my car.
Neal was diagnosed April 23, 2010 with lung cancer. Until then he was never one to be sick. He hardly ever even had a cold. He had 3 chemo treatments but side effects were bad so he said he wanted quality of life. Then Sept. 10, 2010 the doctors told us that his cancer had spread to his liver, bones and his brain and he probably had 2 to 4 months to live. He died 1 month later on October 15, 2010. He died in our bedroom in his recliner with each of his sons on either side of him and me at his feet.
I am like you, I would have never put Neal in Hospice Hospital. The last week of his life the cancer in his brain was more evident and both of my sons helped me with their Daddy. He was in terrible pain because of the bone cancer, but would only take something when it was unbearable. He never liked to take medicine. A Hospice nurse came to our house about 10 days before he died and wrote all kinds of prescriptions out for pain. Other than that my sons and I took care of him in our home and I would not have had it any other way.
You hang in there with the rest of us in this terrible club we are all in now. This is a wonderful site to express your feelings and just put what is on your mind. Everyone understands because we are all in the boat. HUGS.