It seems we've got a good dialogue going, and it sounds like a beautiful place.  We had about a foot of rain, which your son can attest to end of April into May.  The corn in the fields is usually about a foot tall by Memorial Day.  It will be a late season this year.

I have to say I've been blessed, I have a husband that is very supportive.  It is between his personality and doing time in the service, it either "makes you or breaks you".  He makes reference to understanding what it feels like to be locked up, he was on a submarine most of the time.

I'm sorry to hear about your son's divorce, I would equate it to being like the death of a relationship.  As I said, my husband and I have both been through a divorce and we plan on that never happening again.  His divorce was so bad it became required reading for all lawyers practicing domestic law in our county.  We can now claim casual relationships with a good dozen lawyers in the area because of it. 

We(my husband, Tom and I) learned the court system is not set-up to handle  mentally ill spouses.  Which I hope is not the case for your son.

I appreciate you writing back it is like the empty place in me isn't so empty for a little while.

I know I could go on forever...but I thank you for your time and I probably better get back to work.  I know that your heart has a whole in it but you've lightened my heart just knowing that you listened(read) my words.

Thanks again.

Lisa

Valerie, Thanks so much for sharing that little bit, it does help us all to hear about others and how they are coping with their loss. 

I understand what you went through I think, my brother talked very little in public but he would about talk my ear off sometimes.  The first few times it happened my husband (2nd marriage) was shocked, he assumed I had done most of the talking....but it was always my brother that did most of the talking.  He was a strong, vibrant young man in his mid-thirties when he got sick.  He had lifted weights from high school, so to look at him at first no one realized how sick he was.  At the end he looked like a shriveled old man and I'm the only one that could get him to do what was best for him.  So one of our last times together I was having to bring an ambulance to take him to the hospital.  He would listen to me but not to my parents but I took care of him from the time he was 4 and I was 7.  My mother worked nights until I was 10 and then I was the one that took care of them(him and our sister that had been born) when school was out from that point on.

My parents don't seem to understand it, they can't accept that I was the closest one to him.  He never acknowledged Mother's or Father's Day and I don't think they realize that he really wanted me taking care of him.  I kept my visits with him limited to give my parents time to be with their only son, otherwise he was mean to them.

Well....anyways...you need positive encouragement, you don't need my misery too.  I will say that yes...we are having trouble with the heat, I know that in your area of the nation you seem to be a little more prepared for the heat.  We seem to have more humidity I think but I try to be optimistic.  If it's so hot the less likely we are to eat and drink more.  I also lived in Asia for a while so the humidity can be much worse than here in Ohio.  So do you have mountains in the area?  But thank you for listening.

Thanks for returning a comment so quickly, I'm using this site to help heal what can be healed within me.  I'm sorry to hear about your husband, but glad to hear we have the state of Ohio in common.  I live about 45 minutes from Cincinnati just south of Dayton. 

I did leave a message about my brother and my situation so don't think I'm just depending on you, but I felt drawn to let you know.  I understand your situation even though I don't know exactly what you're feeling.

Valerie,

I don't know how often you get on but I think we have quite a bit in common besides loosing a brother to illness and another sibling that you have little or no contact with.  I read your posts from around mid-year 2009 and felt that kinship.  I hope you're doing better and that you've got things and people around you to keep you busy.

Best wishes,

Lisa