Vanessa H
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No Mother's Day Blues.....

Posted on May 7, 2011 at 1:10am 0 Comments

Hey J....

 

Well it is the day before Mothers days and I have decided that instead of getting myself into a depression because you are not here I am going to focus on celebrating as a mother myself and keep close to heart that with out you I would not be.....

 

I went to the store today and felt a twinge of sadness because I looked at all the Mother's Day cards and knew that I would not be purchasing one for you but I know that you know you are in and always will…

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY

Posted on April 29, 2011 at 10:29pm 0 Comments

Dear Mommy,

 

Today is your Birthday and I wish you were here so that we could share another year together... BUT... your celebrating else where so I will silently thank GOD for allowing you the time you had on this earth to share all the other Birthdays we celebrated together...

 

Make sure to play all those motown oldie goldies we love.... Butterfly kisses to you from me and the babies... 

 

 

Happy Birthday... 

Our Stuff....

Posted on April 28, 2011 at 10:31pm 0 Comments

Hi Mommy,

 

Well as you know I have gotten that business taking care of that I needed to do and I am happy with the out come... You also know I heard the news of what happen and although it saddens me and even makes me a little angry I am not going to take it on... I know you have to be watching.... Your B'day is on Sat and I am wondering how we would have celebrated... I look at that picture of you and I having such a good time and I miss those times so much... I am always…

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Another sad holiday...

Posted on April 24, 2011 at 5:14am 0 Comments

Happy Easter Mommy,

 

I will think of you today as everyday and once again wish you were here so that life could go on as nomal with the tradition of going to your house for a feast and then just hang out and catch up...

 

People say it gets easier with time but the question is... When exactly does that happen??? I still have an ache in my heart and I miss you as much today as I did when you had to leave me...

 

I hope you are resting in peace…

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Missing you...

Posted on April 22, 2011 at 3:56am 0 Comments

Dear Mommy,

 

Today is a holiday..... I am still lost without you... I am still overwhelmed with the fact that I can not call you and talk to you about.... whatever....  I am going home to my babies and I know today you would have had a great time with them... They are getting so big and although I am glad you got to meet them I know you would have really enjoyed knowing them.... Mommy I really dont know how you did it all those years... I feel so consumed by lonliness.... I…

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At 8:43am on February 22, 2012, Tamarah1271 said…

Hi ... it doesn't seem that you come on here anymore either but I wanted to leave you a message while I was on for a quick second. I miss talking with you. I hope all is well with you and the babies... hugs and kisses!!

 

tamara

At 10:52am on May 2, 2011, Tamarah1271 said…

Hello My friend!

 

I will definately share my days with you as well. SO no worries, I have plenty of days when I need someone to listen to me too. The thing I find is that it is so much easier to talk to others who have walked the same path as you. VS trying to talk to someone who does not understand but think they do.

 

I find that some of my relatives and friends try to compare thier pain to mines as if they are saying I miss her too but .... so I don't talk to anyone about it. I used to talk to my son father but then when we had a argument he kind of threw it in my face like I was whining or something so I will NEVER foreget or forgive him for it. He lost his Dad a year before I lost my Mom so you would think he would understand but he did not. Everyone mourns differently so I chalk it up to that and move on. He recenlty loss his nephew to cancer and when he was talkign to me I wanted to say blah blah don't whine BUT I was the bogger person and showed him so much respect and support because I do know.

 

My sister and I are extremely close. My Mom taught us a long time ago that we only had each other so we just became closer after the death. We are 4 yrs apart and share a two family house together. I'm upstairs and she is down stairs. We both got 1 son, mines 3 and her's is 10. We are close to my Dad and so was my Mom although they had divorced decades ago. So that love and support continued and got ever stronger.

 

My sister doesn't like to talk about the death of my Mom but again she never lwanted to admit that our Mom was sick. She would always deny that she had a terminal disease and I think not talking about it is her way of keeping it from her mind. Every now and then we will talk about it but not so much of the day she died. So in that alone I find this site as a outlet for me.

At 8:13am on April 29, 2011, Tamarah1271 said…

Hi Vanessa,

 

Im so sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry! I believe that you are right ... GOD put people in our lives for a reason.. rather it's lifetime or a season. I find that my heart and soul is strenghtened each time I come onto this site. I think that if I can console one person then my purpose for the day was just that.

 

I am glad we have crossed paths as well ... if and when you ever need to talk I am here. Don't feel alone, we are all here because of the same reason and we all share the same hurt and pain ... it's just that we have different faces attached to it but we are all here for the same reason.  Most of us have the same thoughts. We all know exactly what you are feeling and thinking. Some of us are in different phases of grief but that's the one thing we have in common is we know what loss truly means.

 

Your Mom will always be with you and I know you know that but sometimes when you really think about it. It's much deeper than the words. Your MOM is a angel and she is still walking with you, listening to you and she is hurting for you. She just can't physically be here with you but every now and then you'll smell her scent, you'll feel a breeze blow across your face that will be different, you'll laugh for no reason. That's your Mom! I believe that so much and when it happens for me I just saying "Hi Mommy or thanks Mommy". I find myself, and I noticed my sister does it too but we always say when we are looking for advice or giving advice or thinking of soemthing to say... we start off by saying " AS MOMMY SAID" or "AS Mommy would say" My Mom lives on strong I just can't see her or touch her but I feel her all the time.

 

You have a blessed day my friend and know that I am only a word away if you ever need me!!

 

Tamara :-)

 

At 8:37am on April 25, 2011, Tamarah1271 said…

Hi Vanessa,

I wish I could tell you when it will get better but I can't... just find comfort in knowing that someday it will get easier to deal with. There is no time limit in which we have to grieve so take your time. It took a long time for me to realize she was gone and never coming back. I was the opposite I was strong and solid the first 4-5years and then I broke down. I am much better but somedays I still struggle however it has gotten a little easier for me to deal with the heartache and pain. I miss my Mom dearly every day and I am sure I will go thru those emotions as a part of my daily life until my last breath.

 

It's not so much the major holidays that get me... it's the simple things like when something funny happens or when I need advice that would send me into a system shock. We were so close. Sometimes I just want to walk in the house and say hey "Ladybug" (my nick name for her), how are ya, what we eating today? I miss saying that. I miss laying my head on her lap and talking when I needed advice or felt sad. My life will never be the same.

 

I look at my son and sometimes I just smile because he looks so much like me and I look so much like my Mom... I knew she would have gotten  kick out of him because he has so many traits of her as I do. She never got a chance to meet him but I find peace in the fact that she met my sister's son and was in his life for 3yrs before she passed.

 

As you stated let's keep in touch...

Vanessa I am praying for you, just believe that GOD will give you the strength to be strong. HE will guide you and never leave you.

 

Warmest regards, Tamara

 

At 8:37am on April 25, 2011, Tamarah1271 said…

Hi Vanessa,

I wish I could tell you when it will get better but I can't... just find comfort in knowing that someday it will get easier to deal with. There is no time limit in which we have to grieve so take your time. It took a long time for me to realize she was gone and never coming back. I was the opposite I was strong and solid the first 4-5years and then I broke down. I am much better but somedays I still struggle however it has gotten a little easier for me to deal with the heartache and pain. I miss my Mom dearly every day and I am sure I will go thru those emotions as a part of my daily life until my last breath.

 

It's not so much the major holidays that get me... it's the simple things like when something funny happens or when I need advice that would send me into a system shock. We were so close. Sometimes I just want to walk in the house and say hey "Ladybug" (my nick name for her), how are ya, what we eating today? I miss saying that. I miss laying my head on her lap and talking when I needed advice or felt sad. My life will never be the same.

 

I look at my son and sometimes I just smile because he looks so much like me and I look so much like my Mom... I knew she would have gotten  kick out of him because he has so many traits of her as I do. She never got a chance to meet him but I find peace in the fact that she met my sister's son and was in his life for 3yrs before she passed.

 

As you stated let's keep in touch...

Vanessa I am praying for you, just believe that GOD will give you the strength to be strong. HE will guide you and never leave you.

 

Warmest regards, Tamara

 

At 11:13pm on April 16, 2011, elyse said…
Vanessa hi, my mom passed away feb 19 2011 and I wanted to reach out to her so many times when she was dying before my eyes and tell her I wasn't ready for her to go and have her hold me and talk to me. Your moms response to you was incredible! I'm going to hold onto that. 
having a really hard time void is present every minute of every day.
Peace,
Elyse
 
 
 

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