At the middle of August, 2009 I received a call from my daughter in law that my dear son Jr. was hospitalized and wanted to see me; no more explications. At the moment I live in Rochester, NY and they are in Puerto Rico. Next day I went to P.R.
My daughter in law took me to the hospital and before we went to the "Intensive Care Unit", she told me to please do not cry. When I saw my son in that bed I was so surprised and so sad because he did not look like him. Junior was yellow, swollen, machines everywhere and when he spoke to me he sound so tired, his eyes were so red! I tried to do my best and kissed him, smiled without letting know how worried I was.
Three weeks later my son passed.
I have been taking antidepresants and pills for my depression and panic attacks for many years before this happened. Maybe that was the reason I was unable to cry until know. I cry a little bid; but I do not know why can I cry the way I should. Sometimes I think I am in shock. I love my children and I never thought I could see one of my children go before I did. He was very attached to me. Before he got married we talked for many hours, he was so understanding and mature. Sometimes I close my eyes I see him when he was a baby. I do not know if part of me has died. Mothers outthere I am sure you know what I am talking about. Thank you for your patience.