Thanx for your comment. I just want you to know that your aren't "bothering" people around you if you talk about it. If they love you, they won't mind...its a part of grieving. I've learned that it is much easier to deal with if you vocalize your feelings. When you keep them to yourself, its easy to be taken over by them. At one point I was angry because no one would talk about my mother's passing, and to me it seemed as if they were pretending it didnt happened, but Ive learned that people don't necessarily know what to say and/or when to say it so they dont. But, any chance you get to vocalize your feelings helps...trust me. I also recommend journalizing your thoughts.
You know I cant believe there is a better place because my mother always wanted to be with us and she knew we would take care of her. I think we tell ourselves things just to deal with our pain or try to understand this hurt. There is no way we can deal with it but acceppting the truth and try to understand we cant change this. I cry everyday trying to undestand why people have to deal with the loss of a parent it is very hard. I sont know how to cope. I just drink and drink everyday. When will this change for me. I need help. Lord help us.