Hi Wendy,

I was just thinking of you since it would be two months soon. I just wanted you to your still in my thoughts and prayers and hope you and your daughter are able to make the most of it despite it all. I'm sure the way you treasure and honor Kevin's memory alone would make him happy. I'm sorry if things are tough, but keep holding on. Take care, Kev.

Wendy I am so sorry that you lost your fiance. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going thru right now. We all suffer differently. I know this is running deep and there seems to be no answer or relief in the horizon. You people are telling you to move on, but… how. In one way it means going back to the way things were before. Finding that special person to share your life with meant you wanted things to change. How can a person chose to go back to that. It’s difficult and almost seems impossible. Most of all, why would we. That lose can never be replaced. It does mean that the love that you had is never lost as well. That person carries on in your memory , your daughter’s memory and God’s. There isn’t a sure fire way to prepare for a loved ones death. Let alone to cope with it unexpectedly. A verse in the Bible book of Ecclesiastes 9:11 states that time and unforeseen occurrence befalls us all.

I agree with you whole heartedly. We never know when we may say goodbye or goodnight for the last time. That alone is a sobering and numbing thought if we let it consume us. Yet you have already saw the most important part of that reality. Making the most of what we have and can do now. If you’re not ready to move on, don’t let anyone push you into. It will take time, and you can do it. If alone for your daughter you can find the strength to endure.

Many have wondered why though. During times of deep grief, troublesome questions do come to mind for some. Why did God let this happen to us? Why did God take them? And the wrong answers can’t bring true satisfaction, only false comfort. To be told that ‘God needed your loved one’ very often causes a turning away from God in a spirit of bitterness. The truth, as contained in the Bible, answers questions about grief and draws one closer to Jehovah God, rather than pushing one away from him. We are assured at 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4 that he is the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort. Peter said “Throw all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7). Throw this burden upon him, “The nearer you go to God, the nearer he will come to you.”

Things can indeed get better Wendy. Keep holding on, your daughter will need your strength. Please pray for that strength. It’s hard to comfort strangers. You never know if you may say the wrong thing hoping its right. You don’t want to offend or anger. Despite being separated or different, we are all the same in that we are touched by death. In one unfortunate way or another. I can’t put into words how sad I felt for you as I read your words. I cried for you. We also are all connected as well as being created in God’s image. And as a parent you know the feeling of wanting to spare your child of pain and grief. Like a parent our Heavenly Father would feel the same. Yet just like a parent can’t spare their children grief the same is for us. You did nothing wrong or weren’t being punished. Never think that.


The faithful man Job said: “If an able-bodied man dies can he live again? . . . You will call, and I myself shall answer you. For the work of your hands you will have a yearning.” (Job 14:14, 15) Here the original-language word that is rendered “you will have a yearning” denotes God’s earnest longing and desire. God has a strong desire to reunite loved ones. It states here “The hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life.”—John 5:28, 29

God has promised to undo the ravages of death. Hang in there Wendy, I know it’s easier said than done. But you can do it.