William Smith
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At 1:30am on July 25, 2010, Pamela said…
Dear William,

I am so sorry about the loss of your parents just 2 months apart. My Dad went to heaven in 1975 when I was 18 after battling lung cancer. I am his only daughter. I just recently lost my Mother on June 20, 2010. She was 88 yrs. old. She fell at home where she and I lived together and was hospitalized for a month and passed away due to complications from back surgery (respiratory failure/pneumonia). I had lived with her all my life, 53 years. Even when I married for the first time at 51, my husband moved in with us. She "carried a torch" for my Dad and never looked at another man. She missed him for 35 long years. They were married for 36 years. She fell 9 yrs. ago and I was working full-time and caring for her also. She became totally dependent on me. She used a walker in the house, and then I would push her in a wheelchair when we would go places. Then I was so blessed to be able to take early retirement from my job 6 yrs. ago at age 47. We got to be together all the time. She was, and still is, my Best Friend. We did everything together, vacations, shopping, eating out, movies, plays, concerts, everything. You hardly ever saw one of us without the other. I miss her SO much, sometimes I can hardly stand it. My faith in God is what is getting me through this. I realized about a week ago that God makes NO mistakes. He has each day of our lives written down in His book and He knows when each of us will be born and when He will carry each of us Home. I was torturing myself with "if only". "If only" I had been standing near her when she fell I could have stopped her fall, or "if only" she had not vomited into her lungs during surgery then her lungs would not have gotten damaged. But it's just like God put these words right in front of me one day just when I needed to see them "God Makes No Mistakes." He knew all of the circumstances leading up to my Mother's homegoing, and nothing could have changed them. I am SO comforted knowing that my Mother has a brand new glorious body in Heaven and that she is with my Dad. When Jesus died on the cross, he told the prisoner that was on the cross beside Him, "Today you will be with Me in paradise." I was with my Mother at 12:01 a.m. on Sunday, Father's Day, when she left this Earth for Paradise. I was caressing her forehead and kissing her on the cheek and telling her that my Dad was waiting for her with open arms. I felt her spirit leave her body before I even looked up at the cardiac monitor. On Saturday afternoon my family, I have 4 brothers, and I were by her bedside. We had decided to have the ventilator she had been on for 3 weeks unplugged when we knew there was no hope. It wasn't expected to happen till the next day, Sunday afternoon. I prayed a prayer that if it was God's will that He would take her home on Father's Day so that my Dad could have a happy Father's Day welcoming home the Best Mother. That night after we had all gone home to get some rest, the nurse called me and said my Mother's blood pressure was dropping (49/25). Fortunately, my husband and I lived only a mile away and we got there for her last 20 minutes. I was by her side talking to her, even though she kept sleeping peacefully, and telling how much I loved her. I was caressing her hair and forehead. I looked up at the clock and it was 11:56 p.m. I prayed silently that she would make it to Father's Day, and then suddenly her heart rate started dropping drastically and at 12:01 a.m., Father's Day, she went to Heaven. God had "pulled the plug" and my family and I did not have to make that decision the next day. The sweet nurse told me to keep talking to her after that, that her spirit was still in the room. I'm so glad I got to be by her side. I had been with her 12 hours a day for over 3 weeks in the hospital. I know she, and my Dad, are watching over me. Only God knows how Heaven works, but I feel that being the loving God that He is and all powerful, that He allows our parents to go back and forth from Heaven to check on their children that are left behind on Earth. I know I feel their presence every day. I feel my Mother by my side everywhere I go. I just can't see her, but I feel that she can see me. And I am comforted that we will be reunited in a glorious family reunion when God takes me home in the future. And what is truly awesome is that we will NEVER, EVER be apart again. We will be with our loved ones forever and ever! No more sickness, no more tears, no more heartaches, no more death.

William, I am sure that your Mother and Father are SO proud of you for taking such good care of them and they know how much you love them, and they love you. God must have known that they needed to be together early on in Heaven, that's why it was only 2 months apart. And please remember this, you mentioned that it was the first time in your life that you do not have a father or mother. But William, you still, and will ALWAYS, have a Father and Mother, they are just not with you any longer physically. But they are both right by your side, you just can't see them. They are checking on their precious son, William, every day. Just remember that. :) This is only a temporary physical separation from them. But just keep living day by day doing what your parents would want you to be doing. And it's okay to cry. Crying is part of grieving. I have cried an ocean of tears over my Mother, but then I stop and I can almost hear her voice saying, "I don't want my girl to be crying," and I know that she wants me to be happy and not sad now that she is TOTALLY well and with my Dad. And rejoice that your Mother and Father are also TOTALLY well, and that they will always be in your heart and by your side, you just can't see them, but they can see you and they are smiling at you, William. I hope that I have said something that will comfort you. I will be praying for you, and would appreciate your prayers for me. May God comfort you with his love and peace.

God Bless You,
Pamela
 
 
 

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