I want to thank everyone for your comforting words and support. I really appreciate it more than you know. I am at such a crossroad right now just don't know what to do. I cannot bear to go back to the house where he passed away. I am staying with my daughter right now and I know that this can't continue but my mind just won't let me make any decisions. Actually I don't want to think enough to make any decisions, I just want to sleep and not think.
Ann, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter on Jan. 21 of this year and I truly did not think I would survive. However, here it is 7 months since she passed and I can honestly say I am doing better. I am not doing great, just better. Some days can be pretty darned good and others make me want to stay in bed all day and not speak to anyone. I have found that shared grief is a much lighter burden. Speak of your son to any and all. I was so afraid Kim would be forgotten but I see that is not so. Perhaps you could have a memorial tree planted in a park. We have one for Kim. We planted flowers around the base of the tree and placed inspirational cards and pictures on bright ribbons to hang from it. In the 7 months she has been gone, people have placed globes, garden faries, butterflies, dragonflies, stones with sayings, etc. I don't know who has done this but I do know Kim touched their hearts and they remember her also. She still lives in so many people's hearts as I am sure your son does. It becomes easier every day to remember the beautiful person she was & the happy times we shared. Don't get me wrong; I still cry every day (and usually several time a day) but they are soft tears now not the gut wrenching ones of the first weeks. It will get easier to manage but unfortunately there seems to be a "process" we have to go through. Just allow yourself to pass through this process to come out on the other side. The hole in your heart will never heal completely but it will scar over and the pain will become bearable. If I didn't believe this, I would find it even more difficult to move forward with my new reality. Sending you comforting thoughts and hugs. ~ Jo