april
  • Female
  • San Antonio,Tx
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At 10:09am on April 9, 2010, Stephanie said…
Dear April, I'm so sorry for your loss. I live in Cypress, Texas and I lost my brother in 2007 and my son in 2009 to suicide. I started a Facebook group for Survivors of Suicide in Texas. If you would like to join this group also,
please click on the link below to join. Or search groups on Facebook under Survivors of Suicide - Texas. It's another place for survivors of suicide to find support and information. Hugs and healing to you! Love,Stephanie

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=318420411588&ref=ts
At 6:04am on March 2, 2010, Mickey Doolan said…
Hi April, just wanted to let you know that I share your pain. I lost my brother Rich on 7/7/2003 - it will be 6 years this year. I have struggled through every milepost, every anniversary and think that soon I will come to terms with it. One of the hardest things to deal with is that most expect you to be 'over it' by now. Just exactly when is 'by now'? And what do they mean by 'over it'? I am a lot further down the road than you, and still I have bad days. The tears come unbidden at any time day or night. It has got a little better, slowly, slowly. It seems some people are 'move on kind of people' as one of my work colleagues described herself, and others struggle to get on with life. It's only people that have been through it that really know. Still I am amazed at how some people seem to deal with it and can talk about it quite easily. I wish I was like that, but I'm not. I feel the power of the loss so keenly. What I have learnt I guess, is to keep it to myself now. It has taken a long while, but after seeing the looks of 'Oh, no, not again' on people's faces, it just wasn't worth it. I think forums like this are great, because people here will understand and be prepared to listen. It is a good idea to see a counsellor as well. Some are just professional listeners, but in a way that's OK, because you need to unburden yourself and let it out. April, my advice to you is to not expect too much and try to be kind to yourself. I've heard it said that generally the grieving process takes about 5 years. I'm here to tell you that it does get better. When you are in a dark place you can't see the light, but it is true that the sun always rises and it will for you too.
At 12:16am on February 27, 2010, Deanna said…
I believe time really heals, April. I had lost my best friend, companion, and love of my life on September 11, 2009 to suicide. I never thought he would do such a violent act to himself because he love his children, family, and me so very much. I guess I was wrong. As I look back, I could see several signs that something wasn't normal. Even though is family tried to get professional help for him, ultimately it was his choice not to seek help. Individuals who commit suicide are not bad or weak people, their usually very sick people. Even though we suffer every day after they pass on, they probably suffer even more when their living. I can amagine how hard it is for you to lose your brother, but I truly believe it won't be as painful as time goes on. Around three months after Tim pass away I thought I was accepting my new life without him. Sadly, I began to have dreams that Tim was still alive. I became depressed and very sad most of my days. I've come to the conclussion that I was feeling that way because I was finally dealing with his suicide instead of trying to get over it quickly and get over the pain that goes along with it. Sometimes when we rush grieving, we get stuck in the process. That' why I believe time really does heal. It may not be as quickly as we would like it to be, but give it time and go through the whole process. Let time be your friend and don't rush it. We all heal at a different speed, so don't force it, let your grieving process come naturally. It's been 5 months since Tim passed away and I can honestly say that I can laugh again, and enjoy my life again. It may not be the way it was before he died, but its a start. You too will get to that point where you'll be happy again. None of us will ever truly understand or get over our loved one's suicide, but we can go on with our lives and be somewhat happy again. I'm sure you'll get to that point in your life. Take care of yourself. Dee
At 9:41am on February 23, 2010, SUE said…
April,
Im very sorry about your loss of your dear brother. In the beginning you were in shock and somewhat protected from the grief you are feeling now. This is very normal. You will get past this immense pain you are in now, but that may mean asking for help. Do so if you need it ok. Keep talking and writing and surround yourself with caring people. It is a journey, I hope you have lots of support. Im a sister who lost a brother too. It takes time .
If I can help at all please let me know, you are never alone here.
Sue
 
 
 

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