Audrey,
You have came to the right place. Your husband is not in pain any more. People that take their lifes, don't think about how hard it will be on the family. Did you have childern. You are going to have alot of bad days and a few good days. Speak of him often and remember any good times you had and hold then close to your heart. I read this poem from one of the other members. I love it and I will share it with you.

WHEN I'M GONE

When I come to the end of my journey
and I travel my last weary mile.
Just forget if you can that I ever frowned
and remember only the smile.
Forget unkind words I have spoken;
remember some good I have done.
Forget that I ever had heartache
and remember I've had loads of fun.
Forget that I ever stumbled and blundered
and sometimes fell by the way.
Remember that I have fought some hard battles
and won, ere the close of the day.
Then forget the greif for my going.
I would not have you sad for a day.
But in the summer just gather some flowers
and remember the place I lay,
And come in the shade of the evening
when the sun paints the sky in the west
Stand for a few moments beside me
and remember only my best.