chrystal click
  • Female
  • Lake Worth, FL
  • United States
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At 3:13pm on April 14, 2011, Renee Semo said…

Chrystal,

I know what you are going through.  My husband died 9 months ago and left behind 3 kids.  I am trying my best to take care of them but it is so hard because each one of them is dealing with loosing their dad in a different way.  My oldest (son 19) is very angry, my middle one (daughter 16) is giving me the most trouble.  She is my stepford child that keeps her emotions in and refused to cry when he died and i think it is now hitting her.  I cannot mention her father in front her her that she doesnt stop screaming not to talk about him, she is doing poorly in school and was a straight A student, she answers me back about everything, I do nothing right.  I keep telling her she needs to talk to someone and she refuses, I have no idea what to do with her.  She is so stressed that she is making me crazy.  My little one is 12 and she is the total opposite, she talks about her dad all the time and even messages him on facebook.  That bothered me when I saw her message him telling him how much she misses him but I think it is good that she gets her feelings out.  We dont have much of a support system and both sides of the family have virtually no contact with us.  I think everyone is avoiding us because they think I should be "over" things by now. Please message me if I can help you at all or if you just need to vent.  Hang in there.  Love Renee

At 5:56am on April 14, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…

Do you have family, friends, a church family?  Let them know that you are struggling.  Sometimes people want to help but they don't know how or what you need.  We tend to withdraw when we are hurting (at least I do) and that probably makes people feel like I don't want to be around them or anyone.  Some days I need that time alone but other times having a friend to talk to made a big difference.  I don't know if you go to church but if not that may be something you could start doing. Also some churches have support groups for those who are grieving a loss and may be able to help you and your children.  My prayers are with you.

Sheryl

At 7:49am on April 6, 2011, Christy said…
Chrystal, I know it is difficult to grieve and continue to provide support to 3 boys at the same time. Of course they will be actting out- they are angry as we all are. Have you seen a counselor at the kids school? They can be lame, but you never know, sometimes they actually do what they are supposed to do and help kids who need direction. They may be able to suggest programs in & outside the school for the boys as well asother types of support & counseling that could help with thier classes, behavior & grieving... The Dept. of Family & Children's Services also might be able to provide some support to you and your family. Sometimes there are churches that have programs to help people with groceries and tutoring kids and provide counseling. I know it's hard to ask for help, but you need help & there are people & places willing to help here & there. The computer is your friend, so Google what you need help with & where you need it & see what comes up, for instance Google: "free children's grief counseling Lake Worth FL"

I am praying for you~ HUGS, Christy
At 5:58am on April 6, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…

I am so sorry.  I cannot imagine how challenging it must be raising three children alone.  Mine are grown up now but I help with two of my six grandchildren in raising them.  I have seen that we are all grievng and we each grieve differently.  It makes for pretty tough days sometimes when you all live in the same house.  I will be praying for you.  Have you tried to join a support group in your area where all of you can go to share your feelings?  Most of these are free - especially if they are Hospice support groups.  God please send help to Chrystal and encourage her heart today - please also be with her children who are also grieving.  May people who truly care be drawn to this family to help them work through this loss of a husband and father - In Jesus name Amen

 

At 9:04am on January 20, 2011, Renee Semo said…
Chrystal, I am so sorry for your loss.  To lose a child and then your husband I know the pain must be unimaginable. The first thing I thought of is now your child is not alone and has his/her dad with them and maybe that will help you a little.  I lost my husband June 18, 2010.  We have 3 children and I am doing my best to hold things together but it is hard.  I miss him so much that I actually ache.  I too havent gotten rid of Franks things.  Everything is just where he left it and I think that is how its going to be for a while.  My family, friends and even my doctor think im nuts so I know what you mean about the pills.  They dont help...only make you feel sick.  This winter is killing me too with all this snow.  I am so sick of it.  Franks grave is the only one at the cemetery that you would never know had snow on it.  I go and shovel it away (I dont want him to be cold...I know its crazy). I have learned not to care what anyone says or thinks.  If Im not asking them for anything then I dont have to acknowledge something they dont understand.  The one thing I know is that everyone who tells me to "get over this", will one day know what we are feeling.  Unless a couple die together one spouse or the other will have this pain one day so I tell them instead of giving me your opinion enjoy today with your husband because you never know what tomorrow will be.  I never thought this would be my life!  I guess none of us have. Hang in there...Im always here if you need to talk or vent.  This site really does hope.  We are not alone!!!
At 10:46am on December 23, 2010, Edler Sterling Broussard said…
I'm sorry to hear about your latest trouble. You would think that you have enough to handle and then this. I think after understanding the circumstances your in, things will work out for you. It seems as though nothing goes right after losing a loved one. Try to be strong, you and your family are in my prayers. Hugs, Ed
At 10:46am on December 23, 2010, Edler Sterling Broussard said…
I'm sorry to hear about your latest trouble. You would think that you have enough to handle and then this. I think after understanding the circumstances your in, things will work out for you. It seems as though nothing goes right after losing a loved one. Try to be strong, you and your family are in my prayers. Hugs, Ed
At 1:40pm on December 11, 2010, Macky Smith said…

CHRYSTAL--THE POEM IS LOVELY. THIS IS ALL NEW TOO ME. MY HUSBAND PASSED AWAY NOVEMBER 6 AND REALLY HAVING AN AWFUL TIME DEALING WITH IT. LOST A SON IN DECEMBER 2008--MY FAVORITE UNCLE IN JANUARY 2009, FORMER MOTHER-IN-LAW (BEST FRIEND) IN JULY 2010, AND NOW THIS. DOES IT NEVER STOP? I KNOW GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ALL OF US---IT SURE IS HARD NOT TO ASK "WHY?" I AM TIRED OF CRYING ALL THE TIME, AND I HAVE TONS OF FRIENDS--THEY DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL UNLESS THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH THIS. I HAVE A DAUGHTER, FOUR GRANDKIDS, AND NINE GREAT-GRANDS (THE LAST ONE WAS BORN NOVEMBER 5). TRYING TO UNDERSTAND BEING IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE--YET SO ALONE. MY HUSBAND HAD LUNG CANCER, AND I KNEW IT FOR A WHILE, BUT NEVER REALLY PREPARED FOR IT. WHEN MY SON DIED--I SAT AND WROTE POEMS, BUT NONE SEEM TO COME TO ME THIS TIME. DECEMBER 12 (TOMORROW) WOULD HAVE BEEN OUR 29TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. I AM THINKING ABOUT A PUPPY--TO GIVE ALL MY TIME AND ATTENTION TOO, NOT SURE THAT WOULD HELP EITHER--SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GET MY MIND OFF THIS UNHAPPINESS. I REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY WINTERTIME HOBBIES, JUST SUMMER. OLD CLASSIC CARS  --CAR SHOWS OR CRUSING--. I LIVE IN SOUTHWEST LOWER MICHIGAN AND IT IS  C-O-L-D !!!! HERE, PLUS A BIG SNOWSTORM ON THE WAY, FROM ACROSS LAKE MICHIGAN. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET MY PICTURE ON HERE, SOMEBODY WILL HELP ME THOUGH.  THANK YOU FOR A NEW SHOULDER TO LISTEN TO ME. HAVE A GREAT DAY---MACKY SMITH (I DO KNOW HOW TO SPELL MY NAME!!)

At 7:55am on December 5, 2010, Renee Semo said…
Chrystal, I lost my husband 5 months ago and I know what you are feeling. My kids want to put up the christmas tree and I would rather do anything else. I have panic attacks everyday when it hits me that he is gone and not coming back. Each day is like the first day for me. I went to a psychiatrist because I really thought I was going crazy. It hasnt gone in for me. I go to the cemetery everyday and still it doesnt really hit me that this is real. My church brought us Thanksgiving dinner and I wanted to the floor to open up and suck me in when they came to the door with a turkey and all the trimmings. Now they have my childrens wish list up for people to buy things and I feel horrible. I can do for my kids and I know they are all trying to help but for me doing these things makes me feel worse. I dont want people looking at me and feeling bad for me but this is my life now. Im not "Renee" anymore. I am the poor woman with 3 kids whose husband died and left her. People tell me to take things one day at a time...I take them a minute at a time. I can be fine one minute and a basket case the next. Anytime I find something that was Franks or something he did I cry. I was cleaning my kitchen cabinets and stumbled upon a pack of Chuckles candy and cried. He used to bring them home for me and hide them in his eyeglass case so the kids wouldnt eat them on me. I was done for the day! Chrystal I dont know if life will get any better for us but we cant lay down as much as we would like to. We have to go on to take care of our kids. They have lost enough in their life and now I just live for them and do what I can to make their life happy. My life is over everything is just for them. I know one day we will be together with our husbands again. That is the one thing I know for sure. Hang in there...if you never need to vent get in touch with me. Im right here with you and we can cry together. Try to smile a little today even if it is just a fake smile.
At 8:32am on November 23, 2010, Edler Sterling Broussard said…
Good morning Crystal, sorry for your loss. John , I'm sure,would want you to be there for your boys. Try to focus on the good memories. Try to have a nice day. Ed
 
 
 

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