I lost my Micah 21 months and 12 days,he took me with him I have no desire to be here,my husband says.when your gone your gone he don't believe in an after life ,he has convinced me of it.so there is nothing for me I am just existing. I hate everything. I lost the most beautiful being in the world to heroin .
Oh my goodness Cynthia here it is June and I'm reading over you post from December and January. You wrote that you would be interested in the CD I mentioned. It is a meditation to help you with Healthful sleep it is by Belleruth Naparstek. The CD can be purchased by going on www.healthjourneys.com
It cost a few dollars but when I had ordered it they sent me another CD along with it. And a really nice mask to help sleep. I hope you come back and view this post to read what I wrote. I apologize for not reading carefully enough the first time I read it. I don't know but I was drawn to read your posts this morning. I need to go to sleep. I have to get a Hyalgan injection in my knee and do physical therapy for my knees. It's tough. Hugs Barbara
Thank you so much for your note and I am so sorry for your loss. It must be so hard to deal with the anger and have no restitution. My daughter lived in Missoula Montana and was a farmer. My other daughter lives in Livingstone Montana and will hopefully move back to Vermont with her boyfriend in October. I can not believe how quickly time passes and I still can't believe I will not see her until I too die. Every day is a challenge and some days are much worse than others. How old was your son? I am here to listen when ever you need to talk.
Cynthia, Thanks for your kind response on the main wall. I post infrequently and had been feeling bad that maybe my anger was showing through too much. I go through stages with this grief for my son I am so sorry your lost your beloved son Chris. The holidays are hitting me hard and I am feeling sorry for myself that I can't be like everyone else and have all of my family here for Christmas. I had always taken it for granted and now I am suffering. The pain will never leave, I am certain. His three little children keep me here, doing for my son what he can't do for them. But it is still so hard and I miss him so terribly. He was my youngest, my baby, and always will be. I would love to tell you that I feel at peace after four years, but the missing has gotten worse. In some ways it is calmer now anyway. It is my so called "new normal" I guess. But I must say I do hate it that I am forced to go on without my son. My love and Justin's love to you and your son.
Cynthia, I just read your post. Please accept my sincere condolences. I don't want to sound alarmed but in all honesty I never heard of a gang bangers make my day law. This is absolutely absurd!
My only son Joe was taken from all of us who love him because of a 38 year old male drunk driver who was using his girlfriend's SUV. (I cringe every time I see an SUV) It happened after Joe left our house for Easter Sunday 2010 within the hour of him leaving on April 5, 2010. My husband and I were sent a letter from the prosecutors office to write him a letter about how the tragedy impacted our lives. I wrote a single space typed letter and kept it in my computer file. It's almost 4 years and it's like it fell through the cracks and as you said swept under the rug. The drunk driver was a hit and run but he was brought in and put in the local jail. However, he had bail at I believe $50,000 put up by a relative. We received notice that he was released on the same day as we put our son to rest. My son lived with my mother who passed away a year ago Nov. 19th. It was difficult on her as he was like a second son to her. Especially since my only sibling Richie passed away suddenly Nov. 1995.
I won't go on but I feel that we can identify with each other to an extent of no justice being served. No matter what is done to these pieces of garbage nothing will change the scenario for either of us.
I agree with you about the dimensions and use to watch a show called "Fringe" on TV. My husband is into the sciences and space and he should have been a physicist. He watches the discovery channel and learns a lot but I can't take too much of it. My husband said that there is another theory that there is really no time. Everything is actually happening all at the same time. That's difficult to get. But I have been able to believe that my Joe is in another dimension living his life. Even the major scientists can't really explain it all at this time. However, everything that has come to be began with a thought, then a theory and eventually it was proven to be reality. I don't like talking about what a person who has passed is doing. However, I do write to my son on his FB wall. I didn't register until Christmas when my husband brought food to my mom's and stayed there all day till late evening. I didn't mind I love the computer. He got me on my son's wall because thank goodness he knew his password. Joe's friends were baffled as to how it happened. I can give one piece of advice. Whatever you did before the tragedy occurred continue doing it. If you were not involved in anything get involved. I'm in a garden club and I'm publicity and membership. I went just days after saying our farewell to our son and attended my garden club meeting. You need to be around people and have some type of interest or else we would just wither sitting at home.
I didn't take my clothes off yet and didn't sleep yet today. I got involved in a few things and all I did was meditation for an hour. I have a CD and if you want to know the name of it just ask I'll tell you.
I write a lot and talk a lot too. LOL
We are so lucky that Tami has put this site together for us. It helps many people.
Cynthia, welcome to our site, as I tell every new parent "I'm so sorry you had to find us, but glad you did." I would love to hear more about your son, if you feel like sharing on our wall that would be great, if you just want to look around, that's fine too. Here is my personal email if you want to chat. Again, welcome