"I am sitting here on the anniversary of Gregs funeral, the date your supposed to say your good-byes knowing none of us really does say goodbye, I tried last year on this date to come to peace with his passing, silly me it doesn't work like…"
"I for got to tell you all that Saturday was my grandsons birthday party and even though we were not feeling it my daughter had a party for him here at my house which was worse since this is where Greg passed away but while the kids played we played…"
"Steve you explained it perfectly, as the years went by after my 1st husband passed away Greg would always say he could tell when the date was near because I would be very crabby and quiet sometimes before I even realized what was wrong with me. So I…"
"I wanted to let everyone know that the river is starting to recede and my home is still dry, thank you all for all your kind words and prayers. I also as you can see got thru Gregs D date, and is it just me but is the second year worse? Its…"
"Marsha my heart breaks for you and your Booker, when one of my yorkies passed away the other one clearly mourned her. She quit eating and just layed around to the point we got another puppy for her, a cocka-poo, they were best friends for a long…"
"Has been a bad week here, what with Gregs birthday and the anniversary date on Sunday I am also watching the river rise a field away from my home, it is coming in on the side and back of my small subdivision. they have closed part of the road I live…"
"Marsha, I am so sorry about your baby as pets truly are our babies. when my little yorkie passed away I was heart broken. They become a part of our family and lives and the grieve is real. please know I am here for you and you can email me anytime"
"well it is May 3rd, the day after Gregs birthday and I survived as I knew I would, I think the anticipation of these dates makes it that much harder, it was a nice day with only a couple of breakdowns. once when my sis and her hubby sent me flowers…"
"Dear Diana, I was on antidepressants up until recently but weaned myself off because I don't like taking meds but after I was off of them I now remember all my dreams, Think the meds was making me sleep too heavy.
Mary Jane, I do…"
"The closer I get to May the more I panic, the 2nd is Gregs birthday and the 12th is his d day. It seems to be even harder this year, I keep having different dreams about me trying to find him, always makes for a bad day when I awaken from them. Does…"
I identify with u i had two fiances that passed away in my life & I cant compare & wont because my first fiancé I knew was sick with COPD vet bad & he was very open about his death and he died in my arms in the hosp and I knew how he died plus he we were exactly like someone married we shared everything but morein the yrs i knew him and was with him more married than my marriage the only reason we we not married by the time of his death, his divorce had not gone thru yet & his wife was giving him a hard time but atleast i knew a love that i had and now 15 yrs later can finally say I was a very lucky woman to have known, felt, such love my fiancé that just passed away in Aug, 2017 died without me there. i still to this day do not know how he died (i was having surgery 300 miles away) & b4 I left he made it pretty clear he wanted me to leave after my surgery and came back The shock I felt when he died, the not knowing how and all the assuming (he had a bad heart & was supposed to get a pacemaker) one minute he would tell me how much he loved me and so many times he kept saying I want to marry u and even plan the date and were we would spend our honeymoon it was even as close as a month before his death. I do know this I loved both of them equally as much, and with my fiancé Frank, his death has me so confused, and wondering know if he ever loved me at all. Now after his death I see so many things he did for me that I never saw when he was alive but I don’t know if i’m just not dealing with all the hurtful things he said and did to me too. i don’t even at this point consider myself as his fiancé before he died i don’t know what he was now. We lived together for 2 yrs and the last time he proposed marriage i said let’s just do it, i knew in my gut something was going to happen i thought to me not him he was such a strong person and we are both not kids waiting im 67 soon to be 68 in April 3, and he was 65 going to be 66 on April 2nd two Aries oh boy we were supposed to get married in 2017 in April 3 but because of my surgery and him not wanting me anymore blaming me for his heart attack he had 3 wks before my surgery he was so angry at me and that i still don’t know why but now all i want to do is let him go, I’m getting so tired of grieving for him, I now still don’t have my apt anymore lost almost everything and I am not blaming him because I was the fool who loved him so much, and still do, but why?? It’s obvious to me he was either lying to me about loving me ever or I can’t even fathom and am still in shock but just want him out of my mind and get on with whatever life is left and have some joy because between both of my fiances there was such a major difference I think that with Frank I thought he would be like Al (my first fiancé) and show me all the love he had or had too much expectations but the nit knowing atleast how Frank died no one will tell me in his family I am trying for months to get his Death Certificate but i’m in nyc and was living in nys and it seems almost impossible to get one from the county up there that their laws are so different up there and searching and searching on the internet for something but they all want money and don’t promise results. I’m just getting very tired of all the researching when i should be grieving and moving on, i might never know, i’ve even thgt maybe it was suicide the last phone call i received from him the day before he died sounded very sick (i can’t share it now) but with his heart history i can only assume it was his heart and only know he died in the hospital. I even called the county coroner who shared with me he only investigates things like murders or deaths that r under investigations but did tell me if he died in the hosp that means they didn’t find him home dead or he didn’t die in the ambulance he passed away in the hospital and was there for over 24 hrs that’s all he could tell me legally. i still have so much guilt , I get angry at myself for loving.