eric johnson
  • Male
  • Saugus, MA
  • United States
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78 days

Posted on September 22, 2015 at 12:04pm 2 Comments

this is how long its been since I have been able to speak with the man of my dreams. I cant help but wonder how I get any better when everything in my life good or bad was discussed with him. we never went a day in 16 years that we didn't speak and now every day and night I spend in tears. I almost wish he wasn't so great so I could have something to look back at and be angry with but he was a perfect human being. now going trough his thing and packing myself up to move out of state in 6…

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my hopes of sharing

Posted on August 3, 2015 at 2:32pm 2 Comments

my hopes of sharing on here is to connect with others who have lost. for me I lost the love of my life to a 5 month battle from pancreatic cancer, he was only 52. although we had 15 wonderful years together I wish everyday he was still here he passed away on July 6th the very day we met. he was kind and loving and we had only 1 argument in all that time. every second with him was pure joy. I was able to spend every minute these last 5 months by his side. He had many stays in the hospital and…

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At 12:07pm on March 9, 2016, Arvin Bain said…

Hey there Eric.  Thanks for the comment.  Like you, I'm still taking it hard myself.  It seems like the pain, sorrow and loneliness never goes away.  It just rears it's ugly head at weird times now.  Yeah, it's been only 3 months for me but it still seems like my partner left only yesterday.  I've made little changes to the routines we use to share but still, all I need is that one tiny memory to set me off.  Like you, I've been crying everyday.  More and more in private now, but sometimes I'll be when I'm driving, going for that jog or watching a tv show.  The hidden pain and tears just take over.  I don't know either when that will stop.  I've met people who have lost someone over 10 years ago and they still get real choked up and teary eyes when they talk about them.  My fear is that those will never go away!  I find myself sitting on the edge of my bed every morning, alone and thinking how this could have happened to us... to ME?  It really sucks.  Then I start cranking up to get ready for the day just wondering what I will go through mentally again.  UGH!  I'm still here though.  So, you have a new friend Eric.  Right now I go to work everyday because I still need to pay my damn bills.  Other than that, I'd probably still be in bed.  Take care buddy.  Hope to hear from you again, soon.  

 
 
 

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