Thanks for wanting to be my friend. I hope you are doing okay today. I would have answered sooner but the past month has been a bad time for me. Besides Christmas to get through, I lost my mother a week before Christmas, it was like losing my mother and my child as she had Alzheimer's and the past 3 years she was like my child. I took care of her and talked to her as a child, bought her a stuffed animal for Christmas last year as that is all she wanted. Then just yesterday I had to go to a funeral for one of Brad's good friends. He had a massive heart attack on New Year's. I can't take anymore loss. I was starting to feel more positive and now all of this has brought me down again. I am so glad though that we all have each other to lean on and vent to because we all do understand what this life is like. I hope 2011 is good to you and please keep in touch! Hugs to you!

yours is truly a nightmare story that I can't even imagine coping with. and I am so sorry for the conditions with your inlaws. Losing your soulmate was more than enough to try to cope with. But all the other is just too much. I don't know how you coped with all of that,too. My husband was married before me and his first wife died of cancer in 1970;they had two sons.  We always had a good relationship and when Robert was dying, they promised him to do as he had told them he wanted and to help me because I would be devastated. As he lay here,dying, they promised him theywould do as he wanted and help me. Robert also told me to take care of myself because you never knew what people will do after someone dies. So, after Robert died, both of them decided they wanted to devide mine and Robert's estate. So,I  had to hire a lawyer to probate Robert's will,in which I was executrix and sole beneficiary. I have finally been able to forgive them,thanks to God, for myself. Hiring the lawyer has cost quite a lot of money,that I don't have; so, it has been very hard to deal with them lying to their father as he lay dying and causing a great monetary expense to me. I had told both of them that when I got to the point that I could bare parting with Robert's things, that I would call them to come over and they could get items they wanted. But, this wasn't good enough for them, they decided they wanted more. It was unthinkable that they would do this not only to me but also to their father's memory.  So, our relationship has been strained and now non-existant.  I understand your feelings about not having your husband's family now. You just never really know people! We just have to take care of ourselves and go on with our struggle best as we can.

Geni, I know eactly what you're going through and I am so sorry. Jan.28 will be  1 yr. that my Robert died.  He was my whole heart and whole world and soul,too.  Friends and family don't understand and can say the most inappropriate things.  I think that they don't know what to do or say and the things they say sometimes, hurt us very much. Most of our friends don't call anymore and, perhaps, it's because they don't know what to do or say anymore. Every day is a struggle, and all I have done recently is cry and cry. I miss him so much. I just wonder how in the world I will keep from losing my mind. Robert told me that I had to "get my best hold and hold on"because he wouldn't be here to take care of me and help me deal with his cancer. I am trying to "hold on" and that's all you can do,too. I don't know how we can "heal" as my preacher says,God will heal you. I am struggling with this every day, as I know you are.  I will keep you in my prayers and may God bless you too.    

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss, second I am sorry you were treated so badly by your husband's family. I was too, but not to the extent you are. My husband of 11 yrs passed away very suddenly on August 5, 2009, his family and I were very close, but for some stupid reason (I still don't know or understand) the day of his funeral they never spoke to me or since then except for one phone call 2 days after the funeral to tell me they were taking our cars away from me (???) We restored cars together. I told them no way, got an attorney and never heard from them. It would be nice to have Brad's family since I don't have him, but they don't want me. I still feel lonely and hurt, that will never go away, but neither will my love and great memories of our life together. Email me anytime: bchamberlain@wi.rr.com. Sending hugs your way!
Love you!

Hi thanks for adding me. My fiance died suddenly from a piece of plaque breaking off from somewhere and going to his heart. We didnt' even know he had it till we got the autopsy report. I just couldn't believe it. He was perfectly fine when he left for work. I talked to him after he ate his lunch at 12:33 and by 2:30 I was told he died! I still can't believe he is gone. I have some of the same thoughts as some of the other posts I'm reading thinking why couldn't it be someone else? There are so many people that deserve to die because they are mean people and yet they live and God took my honey away from me! I go from being so sad to getting so mad at his job for not finding him sooner. He laid in that bathroom for an hour before they found him. I wonder did he lay there suffering? or was it instant? That is the hard part not knowing. I have been lucky his family has been good to me. All 4 of his kids stay in touchh with me. I talk to his parents and they said they still consider me their daughter-in law because that is what Bob wanted.I lay in bed at night and I hug his pillow and cry myself to sleep.I will talk to you soon. I need to go to sleep.
Take care Joanne