Gilbert, my name is David Williams. South Bend, Indiana. I lost my only true love and soulmate Richard nearly 2 years ago. He died 5 months after his Dx of lung cancer. I am so sorry that this is something you have to go through. Be kind to yourself and let yourself experience whatever you are feeling. People around you will only be able to support you for a short time, so be patient with yourself. I am still having some short emotional panic-like attacks. I have had the fortunate availability of a caring grief counsellor through Hospice. It is a no cost service. Hopefully you can find such support through a Hospice Center near you. You can write to me and share any time. Love to you.