faith is the only thing that has kept us going. you may not want to hear this but you are not alone. God is always there watching and listening to you. i worried my husband would do himself in after the boys were killed. i got him into a dr and he got some counseling and now he is doing better. in fact he is trying to get off the meds. please get some help.
I've been virtually suicidal since losing everything after losing both my parents. My own son and brother had a lot too do with it, though clearly it's my own fought I ended up homeless with nothing. I only recently made up with my son. I may never get there with my brother. We've had problems a long time. I loved Mom dearly, at least she knew that. Dad must have thought I hated him sometimes. I inherited his alcoholic temper. Anyhoo, I wish I believed in God. I don't have that to helpme. It's all I can do to stay alive with virtually nothing. Going on THREE years now! That's why I'm ready to end it. Your story touched me though. I wish you the best. Thanks for listening. jamesDean