Hello Judy...I can certainly understand how you feel. I was not married to my partner but we were together for eight wonderful years. He only lived 11 months after finding out he had cancer. He was 56. I have not heard from his family since his death. During his last month he was helpless. A very prideful man he craved privacey. This angered them with him and me. They got to see him everyday but could not understand why he didn't want to talk. They launched a witch hunt on me and it has nevered ended. I have tried to understand their behavior but I can't. I can't get past my own grief. Grieving alone is overwhelming....all I do is cry.
hi judy my name is sharon stricklen and i lost my husband in april of cancer. just wanted you to know that i have experienced the same thing as you. When Carl was sick here at home and also with hospice we had so many visiters and family almost every day come by and now, noone. I saw one man who came to see carl daily at a neighbors house and he could hardly look at me and I almost wanted to say Carl died I didn't because it really hurts down deep to think that you were not a friend just your spouse who passed, people can really be cruel but maybe they don't realize it. Just hang in there and know that you did nothing wrong at all and you have us here to talk to and help you
Judy, I am so sorry for your loss, and for the lack of support from your in-laws. It must be so hard to deal with, especially at the holidays. Like so many of us here, I'm also struggling with the first holiday after suddenly and unexpectedly losing my beloved David in September. I hope the holidays will lead them to contact you and re-establish broken relationships. I'm saying a prayer for you tonight, Judy. God bless you, and God bless us all.
Judy, it's probably nothing personal, you probably remind them of their brother and they can't deal with it, call them and talk to them. Maybe they can't go to your house b/c it reminds them of him...that happened to my late husbands family and they have come around.
I'm so sorry that his family is not being supportive. My husband family wasn't very supportive when he was sick, or even after he passed away. It was quite a eye opener for me. I felt that they let my husband down. So, I know exactly how you are feeling. I suggest you pray about it, and put it in God's hand. Maybe, his family is not coping well with his death. People act really strange when death occurs. Just give them time, maybe they will come around. In the mean time, try to stay positive, and don't get angry with them, it's not worth it.
Take heart, things will get better. Your loss is still so new and so raw, it takes time, but that ugly empty sting eventually lets up. Things will never be the same, buy you can learn to find a new normal.
It's been 2 1/2 years for me, we were newlyweds. It was the first time I witnessed someone die. In fact, At 50 yrs old. I'd never been to an open casket funeral. I still have issues and the non-greiving people just don't understand how we feel.
For me, it was the support of my church, church family and a multitude of griev groups. One of the best ones is called GriefShare. It's a national christian based series of videos that tough on just about every subject, then it's followed by a group discussion. Only people who have experienced the death of a loved one are allowed to attend. You will be among people who all have grief in common. I wentthrough the series 4-5 times. It really helps and you meet great friends.
If you feel the need to talk and aren't able to relate to friends or family, please check out their website. Since it's nationwide, there should be a GriefShare support group in your area.