I just want you to know that what you're feeling is natural....you've lost the person who has truly known you all your life. I lost my mother almost a year ago. She died unexpectly 4 days before Christmas, and she was still so young. My advice to you is to allow yourself to feel what you feel, but try not to get "stuck" in that state. Do you have someone to talk to? If so, I admonish you to utilize them. Talk as much as you can....it helps to ease the pain. But there will also be days where you dont want to talk...thats okay too. You're experiencing a great loss that no one could have prepared you for.. Many people say it gets better, but it doesn't...it simply gets easier. Its been 11 months since my mom's passing and it still feels like it just happened this morning. If I may ask, how old are you? I am willing to make myself available to you to talk to... feel free to email me at tsmyle@yahoo.com. I hope my words have helped.