I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mom recently and it seems her last days went over and over in my mind for weeks. I suppose this is the natural way we grieve, but it does get wearing. About a month before my mom died my first granddaughter was born and I hadn't had a chance to see her as she lived in another state. I decided to take a trip to see her and it was the best thing for me. A baby keeps you busy and they are such a miracle. When I came back home after my visit I found that while I still grieved my mom I had other things...baby things... that went through my head as well. I am not done grieving but having that change or break from my routine helped me just a bit. Perhaps if you could go on a trip or change up your routine it may help you as well. I am looking forward to the day when my thoughts of mom are about her life more than her death. It will come with time.
Time does heal all wounds. It's been 2 weeks since I lost my mother to end stage renal failure, but the thing that brings me joy, besides God, is knowing that mom is no longer aching.
My sister struggled with it until she saw the peace that was on her face as she laid there, looking lovely as ever. You will never really feel complete now that she's gone, but you are complete because look at what she left behind for you. She left you with an abundance of memories, the good times, the bad times, the happy times, and even the sad times.
A scripture from the Bible that was given to me was John 14, and it has brought me comfort. I want to pass it on to you. May God forever watch over you and fill the void that you hold in your heart. I know it's hard because it's hard for me, but one thing to remember, you now have an angel on your side who is helping you to fight your worldly battles.
I hope I helped you some because those are the talks that make me see the value of life and death. One day, we will all meet again in Glory and then my mom will have her legs back, she will have use of her arms, and she will be able to turn herself over without having to wait for one of her daughters to feed, bathe, or dress her.