Hey Anita. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get back. I've just been In a different mindstate right now. Everyday I feel like I go back to the day it happened. I was visiting my Mother and i was out of the house for a few days and he was constantly sick for a few months and the next day i was going to drive to the house to take him to the hospital to make sure everything was okay and there wasnt something we were missing.I woke up that morning to a phone call from his mother, she had gone to the house early cause she wanted to make him some soup and come with us to the hospital. and she's screaming and crying into the phone "I'm sorry i'm sorry" over and over again. Then the polce officer got on the phone and told me what was going on. I lost it. I couldnt believe what i was hearing. I rushed over to the house and his entire family was there. our house was about 45 minutes away from my mothers... i did it in 15. His face was just so pale and so lost. All i kept saying to myself is "this isnt real, he'll be here when i wake up... he will" but i never woke up. they flipped over our matress and no one told me why and i spent some time in the room by myself and i decided to look and see for myself, big mistake i will never forget what i saw that day. matress was covered in blood.... the bed we shared. I love him more than anything. I just want him back... i dont know where i am anymore. i still cant eat or sleep the same. everything i do is so different and i cant figure out why, matter of fact i dont sleep much...ever.
Christmas is just not gonna be the same this year..
im scared... of what i'll feel or what i might do..
i hate this..
i really just need to talk to someone i can relate to. i feel like no one understands but here i feel like you guys do.
thank you for taking time to read part of my story and if you have any comments feel free to share them with me and share your story as well