Thanks so much for sharing that. Yes I have been told and I also know that I am holding my brother back from moving on in his journey. How selfish of me (ha ha). That's why I know I have to let go. I'm also not letting myself move on with the journey that I have ahead of me. I have been so selfish to my brother , My husband and son who live with me know, they have been very patient with me but I can feel a push inside and out that it's time to move on. YOu know I tried to do this about a year ago I wrote my brother a letter saying good bye, it didn't work. I need to think what will work and i say to myself maybe you just shouldn't say goodbye just see ya later.
If this site is able to hook to help sites perhaps I can use it. When I was 18 and a Sr in HS my brother was killed in the Navy for no, as of 33 yrs, explained reason as we were not at war anywhere. No I shoot happy pictures for my classmates kids at the same school and in 03 I had to document my classmates kids killed because a 14 yr old brought a gun to school. Also work with and document Minnesotas Red Lake Nation indian tribe as they have become my friends since they also has a school shooting and lost many kids. I am trying to pull resources toghether to help these traumatized kids help each other and the next schools in need like Virginia Tech. I believe some of these things are so traumatic and rare no one knows how to handle it. We get swept under the rug. I see signs all the time of them needing help. How to do it??
My younger sister died on November 9, 2005 of bacterial meningitis. She and I were incest survivors of my older brother. My mother died of a heart attack three weeks ago and so my husband I went to those services in Michigan in spite of having not seen or spoken to my parents in three years.
I saw my older brother who works for the Pentagon. It was the first time I had seen him in nearly 27 years. I can't say exactly how I am feeling right now except overwhelmed, alone, sad, ripped off and somehow, weirdly at peace.
I have barely recovered from the death of my sister feeling as if, "How could you have left me here to bear this incest burden on my own," and then I am wishing my older brother condolences on HIS loss (of my mother), at a funeral I never expectded.
Seeing my brother after all this time and behaving in a way I think my mom would have wanted me to seemed to wash away all my stress and fear. I understand that forgiveness for my brother is not the same as reconciliation, but I just feel so sad right now that a lot of stuff doesn't matter.