Steve Cain
  • 57, Male
  • Aurora, IL
  • United States

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Elizabeth C commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Kristen Marsha and Rolland, I have regrets as well, as my husband was dying ( day 47 in hospital, by his side 99% of the time but he still commented " I thought you had left, I guess because i was sitting quietly by the window while he slept…"
1 hour ago
Elizabeth C commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Thank you all for your thoughts and comments, it is comforting to know there are others out there with similar thoughts and feelings and tragic too as I don't wish such sadness on anyone. I am experiencing some anger but no one but you guys…"
1 hour ago
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dearest Kristen ...  My condolences go out to you for the loss of your Rob. The decision made by you was a difficult one, but please be assured he did hear you.  Here is a link by a patient who was put into an induced coma (he said he was…"
9 hours ago
Rolland Wood commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I understand your pain Kristen, That last bit of communication, that last touch or kiss is something that is indelibly Etched in ones memory. We of course didn't realize it at the time, but you go over it in your mind with the inevitable…"
12 hours ago
Kristen commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Tomorrow is one year. One year ago, Rob's family and I made the decision to turn off all the machines that were keeping his body alive. All through his illness with H1N1 the doctors told us every day over a 6 week period that he had a 50%…"
14 hours ago
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Janeo ..  I am so sorry you are in the terrible place you are and wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away for you.  I find the most difficult of it all is fitting into society especially since I'm a senior and of course…"
16 hours ago
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Roland ...  Thanks for your post and you are so right.  Sooner or later we have to face the reality our spouses are gone and we at least have wonderful memories of them.  I agree we can't run away from our shadow.  I find it…"
16 hours ago
janeo commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Marsha thank you, your words of encouragement are well received. I understand and try but lately nothing I do is stopping this hopeless I feel I feel. The emptiness and hole in my heart seems to be taking over me. All I want to do is sleep and hope…"
20 hours ago
Rolland Wood commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Marsha...your reasons for making yourself stay are likely the same as mine, you get tired of trying to outrun something that is inherently a part our being,you can't run away from your own shadow,we can try,but all we get for our efforts is…"
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Trina ...  Every word you said hit the nail on the head and I'm sure most of us are thinking that.  I feel anger at times that my Ernie was taken from me just as he was going to retire. We knew each other 45 years and almost made our…"
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear Steve ...  I know how much it hurts missing your Mark and how difficult it is to get up each morning and face the day.  I promise you that time is the healer and the intense emotions will fade to a dull roar although Mark will always…"
Marsha H commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Janeo ... If I'm an angel then I have a crooked halo and bent wings.  LOL  I sure hope you are feeling a little better my dear friend.  I miss goofing off with you like we use to. Hugs Marsha"
Rolland Wood commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"You said it Trina..thanks. Rolland"
Trina Mamoon commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"As human beings, most of us have to go through the pain of having lost our spouse, but for some it comes too soon. I know when you love someone dearly, spending 50 years with that person doesn't seem enough. It seems utterly unfair and…"
Rolland Wood commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"ElizabethC. Your cake feeling is very familiar, If I eat a certain food that was a favorite of my wife and I, or go to one of our special restaurants, I find myself not only feeling sadness, but anger at the injustice that she's not there at…"
Steve commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I am going through each new day still hurting and still trying to find my way. Each day is a challenge just to get up and go to work and I find myself on the roller coaster ride of emotions. Some days I feel angry and frustrated knowing that I…"

Profile Information

Just a quick note to thank you all for supporting each other. When I started this I would have NEVER thought this group would grow this big and have the amount of activity that it does. It's great to see you all supporting and helping each other. With 3 jobs it is hard to spend as much time as I'd like but it's good to know I don't have to spend a lot of time here administering things. Just remember I'm around if you need me. When something gets posted I do get an email and I will respond as soon as I get that. Thank you all for taking care of each other and remembering your loved ones here.

Comment Wall (103 comments)

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At 2:19pm on September 1, 2014, Karen W said…

Joyce, welcome to the site.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband Ed almost 9 months ago and I have found myself back at this site often looking for comfort, encouragement, understanding, or just to vent my feelings.  Everyone here has been where you and I are and understands what we are going through.   I wish you strength for each new day. 

At 10:45am on September 1, 2014, Joyce M said…

I too am new to this site...and am not sure how to post a comment...I have read so many comments by others and have found some small measure of comfort knowing that what I am going thru is so normal...I lost my husband just 3 weeks ago and every day is so hard right now....

At 9:44am on May 26, 2013, Jan said…
How do I talk to people on this site? I posted and did a blog and no one responded. Maybe I didn't do it correctly.
At 9:02pm on December 7, 2012, Babs said…
I just realized I posted
I have read others post and it seems no matter whether the loss of our loved one is recent or years ago What I am feeling is what others have posted
I feel a large piece of my heart died when he did I feel like I have to be another person at work and then go home to our home we shared for 45 years and feel so alone I just crawl in bed and zone out to movies or sleep When I think about how much I miss him and being there when he took his last breath it's like I have to put my feelings away because its too hard to deal with them. I get mad then sad and cry I just want to go to sleep and wake up and he is back home with me. The question I have is I feel bad when other family members call with problems they are having or if they are sick. I feel like I can't handle it or be sympathetic and say the wrong thing to them. I really don't want to talk to others I feel bad I can't listen to there problems Does anyone else feel this way. I have always been the strong one helped others and was able to fix my problems. This grieving I can't fix me. I know everyone says it takes time but this is the worst thing to go thru and I don't feel I will ever be me again. I married Mike when I was 18. Moved from my patents house to be Mikes wife then became a mother and now 45 yrs later alone. I was always a wife and a mother never a me I don't know how to be me. Mike and I were friends too and did everything together I really don't have friends Sorry my post is so long. Mikes birthday is coming up then Xmas. Thanks for listening
At 8:40pm on December 7, 2012, Babs said…
Hi. I am new here how do I post a question My husband of 45 years passed away 10 months ago tonight I don't feel it will ever be better I miss so much. GOD BLESS EVERYONE
At 2:35am on September 13, 2012, Marilyn kroge said…
I am facing the 1st anniversary of the loss of my beloved Jim and I still can't accept that I am alone for the first time since I was 18 years old, almost 50 years with the same man and my only love. I wake in the night to sounds that I realize are coming from my very soul. I find myself calling out to him, begging him to please come back to me, that I can't go on without him and I can't stop the tears that won't stop and I don't want to stop the pain I feel because that would make it real, it would mean that I finally know that I will never feel his arms around me, that I'll never kiss him goodbye when he left each morning. This man I met for the first time and we knew that first meeting that love at first sight really happened and we were together from that moment until I kissed him and felt his last breath, warm and so amazing that I felt his breath as he closed his eyes and so quietly left me forever . I know how maudlin my words sound but I so need to finally tell someone of my pain. I'm not allowed to say any of this to my sons or anyone in my family. Their grief became anger and so this has been my life, alone and terribly hurt that no one wants to hear what I've said here where I feel safe sharing my deepest thoughts. Thank you......."m"
At 9:13pm on September 12, 2012, Margie Thrash said…

I am coming up on my second month without my rock (Scott) it is hard but I do have good friends that check up on me every night if I dont contact them so I am fortunate that way.  Had to already go thru his birthday without him was very hard to do.  Then we always did a 100 mile horse ride week of labor day did it this year by myself with a few friends and was hard but I did it.  Not a day goes by I dont cry.  One of his last text to me was please dont get depressed like I am right now (he had 3 months to live from diagnosis made it 3 1/2).  So I try to think of that text everytime it gets too bad and I go outside or work around the house and listen to alot of music.

At 2:21am on January 10, 2012, Rowe said…

Welcome to all new members. I Lost my first husband 31 yrs ago at the age of 38. Remaried 6 yrs later and lost my Late husband after 10 yrs. He has been gone for 15 years. I am living proof that after the grief, Life will go on.  Not at first, but about 5 yrs later you will be living again.. even though you thought it would never happen. I Recommend that you do not try to avoid the grief.. you have to deal with it because if you dont it will be waiting for you to come back. I am here for you if you need to vent, or just want someone to give you an ear.

At 5:40am on December 15, 2011, dawn m long said…

hi steve only a few more days till christmas .. Im here for ya

 luv dawn

At 5:40am on December 15, 2011, dawn m long said…

hi steve only a few more days till christmas .. Im here for ya

 luv dawn


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