Who am I?
My name is tammy i am forty years old. I have four children and three beautiful grandchildren. On september 22nd ,2009. I lost my father , i found him dead on my couch. My father died from liver disease. My dad and i were very close i was devasted when he died.Almost three weeks later i was told by the army that my son was dead.On october 14th, 2009 i had the army show up at my door and tell me that my 21 year old son had hung himself , i told them there was no possiable way that my son could have done that because i had just talked to him a coupke of days prior to that. We had both made promises to each other and my son was not the type of person to break promises ecspecially to his own son.The day of my son richards funeral they changed his suicide to a homicide investagation. In the beginning i thought that i would be able to handle my son dieing if he was murdered but after they told me that he was killed i started having nightmares. Now i'm afraid to sleep, i dont really eat actually i really havent eaten anything in about two months when i do eat i throw up. I'm so misserable and lonely, lost ,confussed, and empty it's just not even funny anymore . i just want to give up actually i pretty much already have . I just can't go on withhout my son i miss him so very much. His birthday is on november 9th and i just don't know what o do.