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Loss of a Child

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my daughter sara 19yrs

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At 10:56am on February 15, 2011, LuLu said…: Wendy - I do believe that our loved ones stay with us for a while. When my father died, I was the one who drove 6 hours to his city every weekend and stayed at the hospital with him. I received a call from the nurse stating that I should get there as soon as possible - so back on the road I went. It was the middle of the night and my husband & I were sleeping in a completely black, dark room - no lights and no windows - there was a cross on the wall - something woke me up - I looked at the cross and a light was on it..the only light anywhere...I jumped up to run to my father's side cuz I knew he was gone...he was - he had stopped by to tell me goodbye. I have had a terrible time with the loss of my daughter....have cried uncontrollably and not been able to function...one night after about 2 months, she came to me in a dream. In the dream, she had some illness like cancer which had a some curable rate but would take many rough treatments to try to make it...I was crying begging her to do what needed to be done to survive - she took my hand and said "Mom, it's my body and my choice; this is what i choose." Then she laid her head in my lap - I could honestly feel her hair as I was stroking it - and smell her perfume...and feel the weight of her on me...I believe that she came to tell me, this wasn't anything I could control and to let go - I haven't done that yet - too hard - but am so happy that I saw her once. I know I will never be the same person again...and I know I will think of her and miss her forever - but I do believe that she wanted me to know, it was her decision.

At 1:50pm on January 29, 2011, Carrie L said…: Your daughter is beautiful. I am so sorry for our losses the pain lingers forever. They don't know how horrible it is. He would want me to be happy. But he was mad at me. And he was right. Oh how I love him and miss him. I am forever shattered but time moves on how sadly without our beautiful children. carrie L

At 11:17am on January 19, 2011, LuLu said…: Wendy - what a beautiful daughter - my precious daughter commited suicide March 22, 2010 at the age of 35. She had lost everything and chose not to go on - so strange because she was a strong person - in the 10 months since her loss, I have not had a day when I haven't cried - yesterday I cried for hours - we are all the same here - we ask "what ifs" and "why why" but we have no answers - we are joined together by these terrible tragedies and the loss of our children - but at least this gives us all a place to talk to others who understand the pain.

At 11:17am on January 19, 2011, LuLu said…: Wendy - what a beautiful daughter - my precious daughter commited suicide March 22, 2010 at the age of 35. She had lost everything and chose not to go on - so strange because she was a strong person - in the 10 months since her loss, I have not had a day when I haven't cried - yesterday I cried for hours - we are all the same here - we ask "what ifs" and "why why" but we have no answers - we are joined together by these terrible tragedies and the loss of our children - but at least this gives us all a place to talk to others who understand the pain.

At 1:26pm on January 13, 2011, JOYCE MASHER, 4 Amy 5158791808 said…: Wendy, there is also a group here under the tab, Grief Support Community, Suicide's survivors. But either way, we are all here for the same thing.

love and hugs to all

At 4:41pm on January 12, 2011, Tamara Daniels said…: You have to keep the good memories going, that is what I do with my son, I look at his pictures and talk to them all the time. He was a sweet young man, and lived life to the fullest. My oldest grandson will blow bubbles and say I am sending bubbles to Uncle Chris. He also will tell you that Uncle Chris is with Jesus in heaven. I am going to my best to tell my grandson's about their Uncle. So they will know that he loved them and they will be able to know everything about him and what he was like. I have a small picture of my son when he was a baby and I read at night before I go to sleep, and use his picture as my bookmark.

At 3:34pm on January 12, 2011, Tamara Daniels said…: I do understand, I didn't get to see my son either, they took his body to Montgomery, AL for an autopsy (that they didn't do), and I finally got to see him the day before his funeral. I laid my hand on his hands and stood there I know for an hour talking to him and crying. I was very angry not with him but with God, and everybody around me. I went thru some very dark places after he died, and I had to turn it over to God, to pull me out of that dark place. I had become withdrawn, and depressed. My son was my heart. I have a daughter also, she was totally devastated by what he had done. Her oldest little boy talks about Uncle Chris all of the time. And her youngest little boy was only a few months old and never got to know him. I wished I could hug my son again and tell him how much I love him and miss him. I have to keep telling myself that I will see him again, and what a glorious day that will be.

At 11:54am on January 12, 2011, Tamara Daniels said…: Wendy, I understand your pain. I lost my son, 23 years old, on June 21, 2008. We never will understand the whys and what ifs. I still have bad days, but I am still trying to take it one day at a time. Just know that we are here for you. Just remember you have a guardian angel watching over you.

At 11:41pm on January 11, 2011, JOYCE MASHER, 4 Amy 5158791808 said…: Wendy, your daughter is beautiful as are all our children. Those still with us here or those we lost. You have come to the right place. I too lost my 21 yr old daughter in 2008. She fell out of a window, 15ft, to a cement sidewalk after playing beer pong and doing shots with friends. I wont go into it here. I just want to say, I and all those here pretty much know what you are going through. It has taken me this long to feel a little better talking about it. It is something that is out of our hands one way or the other.

I am not sure you get our news, but I think about that littlel girl who just got shot in the news. What in the world is happening to our children? They leave us in all kinds of ways and we dont get a choice. It hurts.

If you feel comfortable, tell us more about your daughter. Come here to vent anytime. Or just say what is on your mind. It helps now and then. Everyone here is very friendly and compassionate and understands to the fullest. I am from the states. I see you are not. But that does not matter.

Just know we are all here for you.

missing my ANGEL AMY, 5/15/87-9/18/08

At 8:25pm on January 11, 2011, Jody's Mom said…: Hi Wendy,

I will be happy to be your friend , I lost my 16 year old daughter , Jody June 27,1993, Wendy this is something we should not have to go through , did they realize they took part of us with them , its been 17 years , people tell us it will get better as time goes by not knowing the hurt we felt emptyness , lonely watching other mothers with there daughters, I had 2 children a daughter and a son , it gets a little easier to live with we never forget them they were a part of our lives , we will always have them in our hearts nobody can take that away , its not a day that I don't think about my little girl I thank God for letting me have her for 16 years , but I ask a million times " WHY' it should have been me , nobody will never have a answer for us , thats why we have Friends without wings , so we can cry together and laugh together , and share what we lost so dear to us , I wish Heaven had a phone so I can hear her voice and her laugh , all I have is her pictures and her memories will never fade away , we will be strong for each other , love you friend ,Ann