I've had a lot more healing to do since 2014, when I first found Legacy Connect. I've been busy working with other survivors of suicide loss, writing about survival, connection, and hope and creating/updating the website that is right for me.

Now seems like the time to come back here. I still miss my husband, who ended his life in 2007 after a valiant battle with depression and bipolar disorder. We were married for over thirty years. But he is still part of my life. He made that kind…

The month has been beautiful in the mountains. No need for a/c - just open a window at night. This year I have been joined by my best friend James. He loves NC as much as I do. Is having trouble finding a job - overqualified for everything. Have had some problems with the dogs running away-- again. I guess all the wildlife here is irresistible. I will post a new picture of the puppy - he is bigger than my german spitz already. Charles and Steve - hope your anniversary was wonderful.…

Soon be 6 months.  This site gives me a place to unload with people I don't know.  It has been healing for me. 

In just 3 weeks, 2 neighbors have died.  Lat night it was a teen in an auto accident.  I will be here for his mom.  I will be saying those soothing comments I have read on this site.  I will help as I feel lead to do, but won't attend the funeral.  I think it will set me back.  Pray for my strength as I comfort someone who has gone through a horrible loss.

My husband enjoyed a good laugh. I was thinking how much I missed his happy, blue eyes. Sometimes when I talk to him at night, I hold a teddy bear he had as a young truck driver, but Jingles has no eyes. Lo and behold, on an errand, I found a bag of google eyes!!!! I colored them blue, and glued them on the teddy bear. Big eyes, big bright movable eyes. I can not help but to laugh out loud when I come into the bed room. The bear represents him. Just like him, it made me laugh. Have a good…

Here I am again reflecting. Thank God I have a full life, but yet, I don't feel complete. A huge part of me left 5 months ago. Although I continue some of the things we did, those moments are bittersweet. I have him in my thoughts, but long for his physical presence.

As I let go of some of the pain, I try to make room for others who were not as blessed as I to have had a partner that enjoyed going out and doing simple, and not expensive things. This week, I heard a woman say she had…

Ain't no mountain I can't climb. The evenings and early mornings I enjoy the birds, especially the ones who like to do a nightly choral for me at my reflection, prayer time. Caught myself singing a lot yesterday. My soul doth magnify the Lord.

After 7 years and what still feels like a long road my dad dropped new information on me today about my brothers death. He let me know that he had his eyes roll back to white while conscious 2 days before he had his seizure . 2 days later he died from seizure. He didn't take him to the hospital the first time. He is now telling me this 7 years later. Neither of my parents told me about this . I could have maybe helped. While I know there is no turning back I feel so many strong emotions…

How to live after breaking up with your loved one? Difficult, sad, lonely. You as if something is missing. First of all - air. Tears overwhelm, heart smiles, emotions are bred. But you need to live on. Sometimes it is very difficult, but it is necessary.…

Frankie, you should be used to making coffee in the morning.  It is a minor thing and he did it so well.  He would laugh today and remind you to not forget to put the grounds in.  He knew you had brain fog in the mornings.  He is hugging you from heaven with a twinkle in his eyes.

Dear Frankie, Remember to put on your muscle rub cream  before you cry in the morning.  Wash your hands before you drop those tears and touch your eyes.  Well, it did refocus your thoughts.  

My husband's health notably got worse after a stroke about a year ago.  Although his life was spared for a while, it was obvious to both of us - although not discussed much - that he probably would not out-live me.  I had dealt with being a widow before.  He had been a widow and one day we came up with the idea of Huggy.  Near Valentine's day he bought me a huge stuffed Monkey and we named it Huggy.  Frequently he or I would hug the monkey.  The monkey was to…

     Second time around, just as painful, but maybe more hopefull.  I have past the third month and have not quite shelved my grief, tears come frequently and I still find it hard to talk much about him.  Went to a local festival yesterday and missed holding his hand.

     I have kept busy.  Over the  spring break I actually read and enjoyed a book, The Dutch Wife.   …

My husband is Mario. He died at our local hospital in October 2018. He had cancer. He fought the battle against cancer for 8 years. Before cancer, he had a rare autoimmune disease. The medicine the doctors used to control it contributed to his…

1) Allow time to grieve. 

2) Feel free to share thoughts and feelings

3) Accept Help

4) Draw Closer to God 

5) Remember that you will see your love one in paradise. - Acts 24:15

6th Christmas without Mike.all mo the every December I'm just on a rollercoaster of emotions.my brother has been visiting my 2 year old daughter. It's incredible and heart warming. Always miss Mike.

Hello, I am a gay male widow who lost my husband of 18 years this past march to Duodental perforated ulcer situations. I loved him so very much,and he loved me. I feel guilty everyday about things I said,and things I didn't do,but people tell me i need to stop punishing myself. Life is hard when your love is taken away. I was 51,and he was 72 when he died. I feel guilty because i didn't take him certain places,and at times i yelled at him. There have been people that tell me that being a…

Wow,  I did not at all think that anyone would care to read, let alone respond to,  my post.  I don't have anyone (other than the Lord) I can talk to to help me get through this experience. I truly cannot tell you how much your responses mean to me.  I know that God will never leave my side, but knowing that there are people who I've never met that cared enough to respond to my brokenness gives me additional hope.   The range and intensity of emotions I continue to feel since my father's…

Grieving

1- accept help from family and friends ( Ecclesiastes 4: 9 , 10 )

2- watch diet and make time to exercise ( lessen negative emotions) ( Ephesians 5:29)

3- get plenty of rest ( Ecc 4:6)

4- be flexible because every one grieves differently (Proverbs 14:10)

5- avoid self destructive habits ( 2 Cor 7:1)

6- Be balance with your time ( Ecc 3:1,4)

7- keep a routine ( Ecc 5:20)

8- avoid making big decisions too soon ( Prov 21:5)

9- remember your love…

It has been four months since my husband's accidental death. A month of numbness, holding it together and pretending to be strong when allowing myself to feel would have instantly shattered that illusion. The second month was one trying to climb what I perceived to be an infinite wall of getting the finances together and filling out countless forms. It didn't help that the stupid doctor filled out the death certificate incorrectly. And if the funeral home knew the depths of the pain I…