January 2009 Blog Posts (35)

When to ask for help

It’s really tough to ask friends for help since it feels like we can’t handle our affairs. And yet we all face experiences that are so difficult, it is impossible to cope by ourselves. Some folks know the right things to do but others will look to you for guidance. Here are some things you might ask for when facing a tough time:



1. Ask to have a lunch or dinner order picked up at a favorite food outlet. I did this with a friend, leaving a lunch order over her voicemail,…

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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on January 30, 2009 at 6:30am — No Comments

LOST WITHOUT YOU

MY BROTHER WAS KILLED A MONTH AGO AND I CANT STOP CRYING. HE DID NOT DESERVE THE FATE HE GOT. HE WAS A GREAT MAN, BROTHER UNCLE AND FRIEND.

Added by lost without my brother on January 29, 2009 at 11:30pm — 1 Comment

Book Review: 'The Grieving Child' by Helen Fitzgerald

When a doctor informed Helen Fitzgerald that her husband was dying from cancer, he discouraged her sharing the diagnosis with the patient. This also meant not telling her four children – the prevailing wisdom of the time was that children should not be exposed to sad or disturbing news. Her children nevertheless sensed something was wrong, causing tensions within the family, and when she… Continue

Added by LegacyConnect on January 29, 2009 at 1:30pm — No Comments

trying to find Stephanie and connect

I don't know any other way to find you. You connected with me about about my brother Bailey's death, oct 28 AND WAS SO KIND . i CAN'T SEEM TO CONNECT WITH you again. this website says I have no friends listed. I'm so frustrated because at first you were so helpful. I tried to say thank you and that I saw your sister's beautiful commemorative you made for her. Please contac me. your loving kindness meant the world to me. nraimer77@yahoo.com I REALLY NEED TO FIND SOME COMFORT FROM THE PEOPLE WHO… Continue

Added by nancy raimer on January 28, 2009 at 12:18am — No Comments

my son died

My son,Shane died in his sleep of heart faliure. He was 37. He died Oct. 15 2008. It's just awful. It's so sad, horrible,I can't think. I want him back, happy and healthy and to be with his daughters again. I want to hear his voice, and always smiling and laughing with his big hugs. I miss my little boy my son

Added by Patty on January 24, 2009 at 12:54pm — No Comments

Two and a half weeks

It's been two and a half weeks since my Mom passed away. She was also my best friend. I was her Caregiver for 10 years. I feel so lost, like I have nothing to do. I find myself just sitting and staring off, thinking. I have a hard time thinking about anything else. Sheri

Added by Sheri on January 23, 2009 at 7:38pm — No Comments

JdMacHope



Please visit to find out a little bit more about me - thank you ~

A tribute to others as well as my son Jon ~

Added by Just Vonna on January 23, 2009 at 5:30pm — No Comments

Timing your condolence notes

When we learn there’s a death, we think it’s essential to respond immediately. Some folks rise to the occasion and quickly craft a heartfelt message. But if you need some time to do the job justice, take it. The bereaved get most attention in the early days and weeks, while they’re in shock and processing the loss, and most likely won’t remember much. It’s in the weeks and months ahead, when mourning takes place, that they might most appreciate a note from you. Here are five…

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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on January 23, 2009 at 7:30am — No Comments

The "MIGHTY OAK"

My dad Heberto T. Gomez was a Mighty Oak. He finally went to rest in the heavens above with my beautiful mamma Juanita and brothers Jesse and Juan. All men were not created equal. My dad was a strong, tempered, stubborn man, but he was a gentle giant at that same time. he taught his children to be tough and respectful at the same time. respect had to do with EVERYTHING. If respect was not shown for others, than you didn't deserve it yourself. A man of promise, thats what he was. One with nature… Continue

Added by Belinda Gomez-Cabacungan on January 22, 2009 at 3:07am — No Comments

New Loss

Just two days ago my mother was buried after a ten week illness. She entered hospital with a broken hip, and was suddenly diagnosed with an ischemic bowel that was inoperable. After ten harrowing weeks, most of which she spent incoherrent on huge doses of morphine she died. Now begins the unthinkable, living without her. The usual absences, her phone number has become obsolete, my family home is deserted and I have no clue how to deal with life without her. I would love to hear from members who… Continue

Added by maria mulligan on January 21, 2009 at 11:21am — No Comments

to stephanie, from nancy, open to others too, of course

I read your last message to me but can't get the website to allow me in to respond. I don't know if u will read this but I'm trying to answer you but can't. You may have responded to many people in need. I'm the one who lost her brother in oct. his obit is listed in the berkshirew eagle in pittsfield ma on the 26th or 27th of 08. please read and contact me thru that if u can. I went to your sister's webside and was moved beyond tears. What an absolutely beautiful tribute to her, what a… Continue

Added by nancy raimer on January 19, 2009 at 9:41pm — No Comments

GOLIATH

GOLIATH was a very big,very loveable dog,I live at hazel center in medford-it is sort of a group home for mentaly ill-my favorite days were when GREG would bring GOLIATH in for the day,and it was even better on days when EMILI a boston terrier owned by SHELLI was there also,small EMILI was big ol'e GOLIATH"S girlfriend,they got along great and were in love. I would take GOLIATH for walks,once as I was crossing the street a waitress at a coffee shop came out and yelled out"I love your dog".… Continue

Added by FRANK BRYAN on January 18, 2009 at 11:04pm — No Comments

Choosing the Right Condolence Stationery

Q. What type of stationery is appropriate for condolence notes? Is a printed condolence card the best idea?



A. A correspondence card, whether imprinted with your name or not, is the perfect stationery for a condolence note. A correspondence card offers at least three advantages. The stock has weight, which somehow adds weight to your message. Due to its size (usually 6-1/4”x4-1/2”), a correspondence card also limits how much you can say. A few lines can…

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Added by Florence Isaacs on January 18, 2009 at 4:30pm — 1 Comment

The Loneliness of Grief

Loneliness Is To Be Felt – Alone Time Made Better



Friends ask, “What hurts the most?” Always I answer, “Loneliness for Joe. It never goes away.” I don’t want to run from this loneliness because I know to feel it is an important part of the grieving process. But my alone time can be enriched.



Feeling My Loneliness



Don’t fight it; let the feelings come. Express aloud, on paper, physically (without hurting myself), and with tears.



When…

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Added by Marta Felber on January 18, 2009 at 4:00pm — 2 Comments

Simple things make a difference

When someone is going through a difficult time, communications and actions need not be elaborate to make a difference. Choose one or more of these five simple steps to offer your support:





  1. Send a note to share your sadness, feelings, or memories and let the recipient know they are in your thoughts and prayers.
  2. Bring a meal, food item, or gift card for a favorite carry-out restaurant.
  3. Make contact before…
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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on January 15, 2009 at 10:00am — No Comments

the lose of my brother

my brother jim passed away on april 12 2008 at the age of 37 Iam 36 but at the time only35.he died unexpectadly and the family was already going through alot whereas i broke my back last november. so it has been very hard for us all,he left behind a son the age of 17. I try to be there for him but it is difficult,when i feel guit about my brother and best friends death it makes it hard to look my nephew in the eye sometimes.

Added by joseph langley on January 14, 2009 at 7:27pm — No Comments

Children's Grief & Loss Group

Children, Ages 6-14 Grief & Loss Group
Weds. 3:00pm-4:00pm
172 Ravenhurst Ave LL
Staten Island,NY 10314
For further information and registration, call: Karen 518-506-5999

Added by Karen L Goldman,LMHC BC on January 14, 2009 at 3:00pm — No Comments

Book Review: 'The Suicide Index' by Joan Wickersham

“This is what my father did,” writes Joan Wickersham early in her memoir The Suicide Index: Putting My Father’s Death in Order. “He got up, showered, shaved and dressed for work. He went downstairs and made a pot of coffee, and while it was brewing he went outside and walked down the long driveway to pick up the newspaper. He left the paper folded on the kitchen table, poured a cup of coffee, carried it upstairs, and put it on my mother’s bedside…

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Added by LegacyConnect on January 14, 2009 at 11:00am — No Comments

Dealing with a sibling passing

My brother died today in his sleep and this is the worst even that has happened to me in my life am in the military and gratful it di dnot happen while i was deployed to iraq..I dont know how to deal with this am crying on minute and am okay the next...i have 2 more brother now i cant say i have 3 now i have to say 2 this is crazy this is not how life is suspoe to be he was only 24 just turned 24 less than a month ago..why couldent god take something less meaningful from me then my family,,i… Continue

Added by Mickoel on January 12, 2009 at 10:03pm — 1 Comment

Six more distractions that hamper listening

When someone trusts you enough to share their thoughts and feelings, they're asking for just one thing – they'd like you to listen. They're not looking to you for answers and they don't want you to judge. They just want to voice their experience.



It's not easy to be a listener; it takes lots of energy and hard work to actively listen. You'll listen more effectively if you avoid these six additional distractions:



  1. Don't…
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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on January 12, 2009 at 1:30pm — 1 Comment

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