January 2010 Blog Posts (75)

Just thinking....

Today I am going to see a hand surgeon because I have developed De Querviens tendonitis in both hands.... I have actually had it for 2 yrs. but it's getting worse and now I need to make a decision.



I realized other than having my son that if I decide to have the surgery my Mom will not be here to comfort me. I won't be able to go and lay in bed with her and be the big baby I always was in her presence.



My sister has been like a mother to me. We were so young when my Mom… Continue

Added by Tamarah1271 on January 22, 2010 at 8:30am — 1 Comment

Not doing so well today!

Today I need my Mom... i just want to talk to her and tell how much I love her. Today I just want to be in her presence so I feel a little sad.



As I am typing I am thinking of some of our happier times and it's making me laugh so hard inside. We were all so silly and funny at times. I will get through this day... just knowing my Mom loves me and GOD loves me too. Together they are pushing and encouranging me to smile and laugh today. I know she does not want me wallowing over her… Continue

Added by Tamarah1271 on January 21, 2010 at 8:30am — 1 Comment

ANOTHER long lonely night

And now I have to go to work. Things are getting hot and critical for a job I so badly need and here I am up all night.Crying.Calling 800 numbers for spiritual help which would be harmless and ok except it drains my bank account. And now I'm addicted.

Added by Lisa Marie Wawrzynski - (Liska) on January 21, 2010 at 4:30am — No Comments

Losin 2 GREAT people in my life in 2 1/2 mnths

Oh my-- as I can see I am soo not alone in this grievin process.. On October 31, 2009 I found my Gramma had went to the Lord... One day to the year after my Auntie ( her 2nd youngest child) passed away. That was extremely hard to deal with especially since I was the last to see her alive and then found her "gone"..

Gramma passed just 4 days shy of her 97th Birthday.. I am soo blessed to have her all my life.. But however; on January 10,2010-- My daddy whom had been sick fer many a year ith… Continue

Added by Debbie on January 20, 2010 at 10:42pm — No Comments

Agony and confusion

Since the overdose and loss of my best friend my mind seems to have split and lost all reasoning. I have been doing things to ruin my own life and I don't seem to care much. I keep getting into trouble-police,financial,relationship-wise, I'm going to blow it all if I don't get a grip. My B.D. is the 28 and I don't really care. Because he's not here.

Added by Lisa Marie Wawrzynski - (Liska) on January 20, 2010 at 5:01pm — 3 Comments

A push in the right step

Mommy I love you and miss you more than tears, or words can ever describe. You were everything to me and without you I feel so lost but I feel you watching me and encouraging me to move forward .... thank you!!



Today I feel a little better, thanks to this forum. I am wondering why I did'nt think of joining sooner but I guess I wasn't ready for any kind of help. I felt I needed and could deal with this on my own. I have now opened my heart and mind to allowing others to help me. Here… Continue

Added by Tamarah1271 on January 20, 2010 at 8:13am — No Comments

JANUARY15,2010 DEATH OF MY SON

I DONT KNOW HOW TO GO ON TOGET PASSED THE PAIN AND SORROW AND GO ON TO LIVE IS JUST IMPOSSIBLE TO ME I CAN NOT SEE EVER GETTING OVER THE LOSS OF MY SON ED HE WAS WAY TO YOUNG AND MY ROCK HE IS GONE AND THE EMPTYNESS IS SO DEEP THE TEARS CANNOT STOP THE STABBING OF MY HEART IS SO REAL TO SIT AND WAKE MY SON WAS SO SURREAL TO SEE HIM IN THE CASKET WAS SO UNREAL AND NOW I WILL NEVER HEAR HIS VOICE AGAIN SEE HIS SMILE AGAIN IN THIS LIFE TIME AND i AM SO NUMB

Added by teresa on January 20, 2010 at 8:01am — No Comments

I can"t beleve im realy doing this

It"s been less then tow years scense my Teresa went to with the Lord and I have pretty much hidden in house I know thats not the best thing to do but I dont have any family and few friends.A trusted friend told me it"s well past time I got invole'd in a grief support group and truth be told I beleve it"s time as well.It"s not easy to admite to pepole I don"t know but I not had to deal the death of close family members becouse we were a military family where not close to very meney in our… Continue

Added by alan demetri on January 20, 2010 at 12:29am — 2 Comments

Dear Mom, we are coming up on the three-month anniversary of your homegoing. It feels like forever ago when I had last had a conversation with you. I miss you so much that my heart aches. We are stru…

Dear Mom, we are coming up on the three-month anniversary of your homegoing. It feels like forever ago when I had last had a conversation with you. I miss you so much that my heart aches. We are struggling without you, but I know God knows that we can make it or He wouldn't have taken you home.



I am thankful that you didn't have to suffer very long with your illness. God, in His mercy, saw that your body was sick beyond repair, and He took you out of it to give you a perfect… Continue

Added by Caroline on January 19, 2010 at 11:21pm — No Comments

Anniversary

My dad's one year anniversary is coming up REALLY soon. Its only getting harder the closer it comes and the longer its been since he passed.Everyone says that it gets easier after the first year but I think they are soooo wrong. I don't have anyone to talk to about it or him. I try to talk to family but nobody wants to listen. I am going crazy and it makes it all so much HARDER. Life is hard enough, add work and then this....What else???

Added by Maria on January 19, 2010 at 10:13pm — No Comments

Need advice: Celebrating a B-Day & a death on same day

How should we celebrate my father-in-law's birthday today when his best friend died earlier this morning? Looking for any advice, suggestions out there. His other best friend died 2 years ago so I want to do something to show he's not alone. Life is full of bad timing. :(

Added by Carrie on January 19, 2010 at 2:29pm — No Comments

Need advice: Celebrating a B-Day & a death on same day

How should we celebrate my father-in-law's birthday today when his best friend died earlier this morning? Looking for any advice, suggestions out there. His other best friend died 2 years ago so I want to do something to show he's not alone. Life is full of bad timing. :(

Added by Carrie on January 19, 2010 at 2:12pm — No Comments

Not Today!!

Today I sit and think, wow I made it through to another day. Is it any better than yesterday, No but I made it. Each day I look forward to the next as I feel it may be a little better than the last. If I am lucky maybe it will be the day i loose my memory and forget the past. I know I have a small chance of that happening but If it did then I would forget the pain I am in. I guess then I would forget some of the wonderful things that happened after my Mom's death, like the birth of my son in… Continue

Added by Tamarah1271 on January 19, 2010 at 12:00pm — No Comments

You can't hurry grief

I thought I knew everything there was to know about grief. After all, I’d faced some terrible losses by my early thirties. And yet my mom’s death really shook me. The grief and sense of loss was devastating and I found it incredibly hard to pull myself together that first year.



From my experience, I’ve learned that every loss is different and one loss doesn’t necessarily prepare you for the next. Unlike other life experiences, the more practice you have doesn’t make you any more…

Continue

Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on January 19, 2010 at 8:30am — 2 Comments

My Beautiful Daughter

My daughter Ashley was everything to me. She wasn't just my daughter, she was my very best friend. As she was growing up we became close and remained that way. Ashley was diagnosed in 2005 with a brain tumor. It was benign but due to the craniotomies she went through, she had deficits. It never changed her nor the loving way she was. In 2007, Ashley had went through radiation, due to residual tumor that they could not remove. She stayed strong, did well though her pituitary ended up non… Continue

Added by Teresa on January 18, 2010 at 10:26pm — 4 Comments

greiving or depression?

someone said a careless phrase to me the other day and i haven't left my house in two days now. i just sleep all day or watch movies. i dream about my mother more and more. it will be two months since she died tomorrow. i have no energy, no motivation. am i grieving or is this plain old depression?

Added by April on January 18, 2010 at 8:39pm — No Comments

Just passed the one year anniversary of husbands death

They say it gets easier as time goes by. one day at a time. It is sometimes one minute at a time for me..

Added by Patti Kwiatkowski on January 18, 2010 at 7:41pm — 2 Comments

Losing A Father

It's amazing that I feel I have lost a huge part of me - Not just my father - but someone that truly knows me - and the feeling of I knew him - my father was a big part of my life - He died December of 2008 As far as I can remember - I was always told "you look just like your dad" - I was very proud of that - and still am - I am a female - but my dads ways - and the gestures are all the same -I shock myself at some of the things - that I do - that he use to do - My dad was an alcoholic - as far… Continue

Added by Terry H. on January 18, 2010 at 6:24pm — 2 Comments

JANUARY 18TH 2010

Today marks the 16 months that you are gone. we still miss you so much and wish we could have one moment to talk to you or give you one last hug. We are hanging in there as best we can. It seems like yesterday some days and then it seems like its been so long ago. I hate it. I dont know how long it will be before we are really ok with all this.

We are on our way to visit you today. We hope you are watching. Gram was over this morning. I still sleep late as usual. I have those days when I… Continue

Added by JOYCE MASHER, 4 Amy 5158791808 on January 18, 2010 at 3:25pm — No Comments

Loss of my Grandbaby

My grandaughter was abused and died at the age of 2 months. No-one knows who did the abuse. The hours of last impact to her was 1-24 hours so that includes a few people. The lawyer said we may never know. My husband and myself currently have custody of my other grandson (her brother) he is 17 months old. I just need to know who and why, I wish someone would have called me I would have taken care of her, she didn't deserve to die and she didn't deserve to be abused. I don't know what plan God… Continue

Added by Mamaw on January 18, 2010 at 1:07pm — No Comments

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