April 2012 Blog Posts (51)

Signs From Rocky

For many years, I have had a tin basket with artificial flowers hanging on the brick wall outside our front door.  On many occasions there has been a bird snuggle up in the flowers in the wintertime, which would come flying out and scare you, as you came to the door.  I know I should have removed it long ago, but it was a housewarming gift from my sister in law, so I never…


Added by Lisa - Rocky's Mom on April 30, 2012 at 5:30pm — No Comments

April 30, 2012

March 7, 2011 my nightmare started.  My son, Tom was found dead by his own hand that morning.  Life has NEVER been the same since.  My heart still grieves, I am still waiting for that regular phone call from him - At times its still not real - that he is GONE.  He left years worth of detailed journals, which totally surprised me.  Many of the stories recorded I knew about, but I never had the details then. He hid his depression, hurts and sorrows with ANGER the past 11 years. We had a good…


Added by Carol Shilhavy Dallmann on April 30, 2012 at 7:06am — No Comments

What I'm Struggling With

Below is a list of things that I am struggling with regarding the loss of my beloved sister Liz:


1.  Guilt.  This is one of my biggies.  I feel guilty that I didn't know that she was hurting so badly...that I never chatted with her on Gmail after I found out her gmail address last November...that I only contacted her once after November...that I survived when I was suicidal and she didn't...and that I wasn't able to use my experience to help her...that I wasn't there when she…


Added by Christine Bastone on April 29, 2012 at 2:55pm — 3 Comments

missing my dad

I lost my dad November 2 2011. He was the center of my universe and with him gone i feel like my whole universe has crumbled around me. I miss him so bad it hurts. Ive been told to let it go but i cant and wont. Im scared im gonna forget what he sounds like. I hope someone can help me or give me some advice.


Added by Laurie Kline on April 29, 2012 at 1:10am — No Comments

I miss that smile and those eyes...

Added by Lori Jones-Andy's mom on April 27, 2012 at 4:41pm — No Comments

"it's time you move on with your life"

How many of us have heard this on one way,  shape, or form?  Or had some well meaning person tell us HOW we should grieve?  I've been through many deaths of people close to me- my parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, miscarriages and now the one I don't think,  no the one I KNOW I will never "get over", my first born and only son.

After wondering how anyone could possibly expect any parent, especially a mother to get over losing a child I could come to only…


Added by Lori Jones-Andy's mom on April 27, 2012 at 12:44pm — No Comments

The Art of Losing

Just as we are about to move out of National Poetry Month, I want to sneak in an amazing collection of poems that came out last year. The Art of Losing: Poems of Grief and Healing (Bloomsbury, 2011; now in paperback) is the book acclaimed poet Kevin…


Added by Susan Soper on April 26, 2012 at 1:30pm — 1 Comment

Must a sympathy note be memorable?

When expressing sympathy, isn’t thoughtful enough?


When someone dies, we express our sympathy by writing notes to the bereaved, hoping to provide some comfort. Many of us feel that if we write memorable notes, we’ll somehow make a difference. But all that pressure causes us to struggle, trying to find just the right words for a meaningful message.


If your goal is to write a memorable sympathy note, maybe you’re trying too hard. Think about what…


Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on April 26, 2012 at 7:30am — No Comments

Thoughts on Coping with Grief

One of the elements of being able to successfully cope with grief most often involves experiencing a change in perspective. Please consider the following thoughts and pictures to help you on your journey.



Added by Ellen Gerst on April 26, 2012 at 6:30am — 1 Comment

Letter to Rocky


I love and miss you so much.  I know you miss us, too.  I hope that you can hear/read my words.

I can't get your infectious laugh out of my mind.  Sometimes it makes me smile but other times, I just cry for you.  I loved how you could laugh at your own jokes.  I can see the tears in your eyes as you laughed so hard, at your own silly…


Added by Lisa - Rocky's Mom on April 26, 2012 at 2:30am — No Comments


Added by Martin Connors on April 24, 2012 at 1:44pm — No Comments

What About His Things?

Last week we prepared for our annual neighborhood yard sale.


As we went through things, we came across many of our sons belongings.  Most we knew we had, but there were a few items we found that we didn't realize were with us.


For me, there is no way I can part with any of his things.


We display his favorite things; music posters, egyptian art, music equipment, etc, in our bedroom. There we can enjoy it and it isn't out in the main house to…


Added by Lisa - Rocky's Mom on April 24, 2012 at 2:41am — 1 Comment

feeling so sad today

Feeling so depressed today.  Ive always been positive and was working on myself before my brother died. I just count the days i havent talked to him. 73.  My father is also an alcoholic and I am trying to help him as i fear his story will end like my brothers eventaully.  It is so hard some days to want to think life will go and be better. It does go on.  Given my family situation I feel like it is time for me to have someone take care of me. ive been the parent in my family since i was a…


Added by Jennifer on April 23, 2012 at 9:04pm — 2 Comments

The pain of losing a pet

Girl with her cat (Flickr Creative Commons/Roy Montgomery) For many of us, our circle of loved ones is not limited to humans. Often, we love our cats, dogs or rabbits as intensely as we do our dearest human companions. Our beloved animals are fast friends, part of the family. When my four-year-old tallies who's in our family, her list always includes 4 girls and 2 boys. That two of the girls use the litter box rather than the potty is…


Added by LegacyConnect on April 23, 2012 at 4:00pm — 6 Comments


Well, we went up to set up a memorial scholarship fund in Andy's name for kids at his school.  To have it in his name and be an on going scholarship we have to have $10,000 in the account.  At the moment it has just $500.  Soon it will have $2500.  The foundation will match every $2000. 

So I'm doing it...I am going to solicit pledges for each mile I can ride (keep in mind I have a painful neuro-muscular disease myself) and I'm also going to use the time on the road and the…


Added by Lori Jones-Andy's mom on April 23, 2012 at 2:36pm — No Comments

My husband passed away 6mo ago from cancer. I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered but recently I seem to have gone backwards. I am feeling overwhelmed and guilty. I am going through…

My husband passed away 6mo ago from cancer. I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered but recently I seem to have gone backwards. I am feeling overwhelmed and guilty. I am going through all the financial stuff right now and got so upset I had to leave my accountants office. It's so unfair that he worked so hard and planned so well so that WE would be set when we were ready to retire and he gets nothing for all the hard work.

I did not grow up with any religious beliefs and… Continue

Added by Sandi Wheaton on April 23, 2012 at 10:44am — 3 Comments

April 23, 2012

It's been a year and a half since Larry left for work, left this world, left all of us he loved & loved him. It's still beyond painful. I haven't seen my stepson in 6 months as of May 1st. Larry's 40th birthday would have been April 15th. I have been surving many tears much like I did in the beginning, but honestly, there are only rare days when I feel as if I am really progressing. I miss him more than anyone outside this grp would ever imagine. He's gone, as I sd my stepson is now…


Added by Christy on April 23, 2012 at 10:36am — No Comments

Advice @ Stage 4 Lung Cancer survivor impending death


     my name is Tony Sabino, I'm living in Plantation Florida close to my older sister who has just been advised that she has @ 6 months to live...what I'm hoping is that though I may be jumping the gun by sharing my question before her death in this forum....possibly one of you can help me understand and deal with what's happening in my life and my sister's too.

     my problem is that my sister Barbara is not going to share the truth about her condition and the fact…


Added by Tony Sabino on April 23, 2012 at 5:59am — No Comments

My Story

I lost my only brother to suicide. His name was Brett. We were full siblings, 1 year and 10 months apart. I was the eldest. We both went through some pretty heavy stuff with our father when we were 11 (him) and 13 (I). Brett and I became really close at the end of the teenage years. Through all the years we fought and hated each other, we really bonded when we grew up a bit., especially when I became a mother to my son, Graham. Brett loved being an Uncle and he was such a fabulous one. He…


Added by Samantha Smith on April 22, 2012 at 10:09pm — 1 Comment

Is There Really Overcoming Grief?

To be honest when it comes to the grief of losing a child there is no getting over it. It’s a misperception in reality. It is moving through it. Imagine being immersed in a giant bubble. The more you push against it, the more resistant it is to breaking through. The bubble is a part of you – a manifestation of sadness, loss, anger, and questioning faith – at least in my case.…


Added by Martin Connors on April 22, 2012 at 10:00pm — 1 Comment

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