September 2013 Blog Posts (25)

Three years later- Has anything changed?

Three years and one month ago I found myself facing the most painful event of my life alone. Death was unfamiliar to me, and a strong, young man at the height of his career with his personal goals at an all time high was suddenly taken from us as the result of someone else' negligence. For over a year I cried every single morning upon waking. His bathrobe hung on the door where he left it until just a month ago. Most of his things remain tucked in his drawers and on his side of the closet.…

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Added by Christy on September 30, 2013 at 2:13pm — No Comments

Sudden passing of mum

This emptiness/pain is undescribable. A few wks back my very healthy mother aged 66 died of a massive heart attack.I will never forget the thud on the floor followed by my brothers plea for help. She had just popped into his bedroom as he was up watching tennis and had asked how Murray was doing only 30 seconds later she fell out of the bed. We tried to revive her until the paramedics came they shocked her 3 times but still no good. This is new territory one of unbareable pain and panic.…

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Added by mhari fraser on September 28, 2013 at 5:37pm — No Comments

Just saying hello

Hello. I am new to this page and am seeking comfort with others who are survivors of suicide. I have tried a support group but it's just not the same when you lose someone to suicide.

My son was 27 years old when he took his life on January 6, 2009. As you know words could never describe the pain. I have no understanding of why he took his life but I am told that I would never find an understanding. He may have had issues with schizophrenia but I don't know for certain. Unfortunately…

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Added by Julie Salnoske on September 27, 2013 at 2:17pm — 1 Comment

My Journey

Hi my name is Sandra and I lost a child 10/14/2002.  My son, Danny, was the older of twin boys. It has been bitter sweet to see my surviving son, Sammy (or Sam as he now likes to be called) as he gos through his milestone growth years.  This is always a hard time of the year for me as the anniversary of his death approaches, even after this much time has passed.  Even though there are still some people out that think you need to "get over it".

The day my son died started out…

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Added by Sandra on September 26, 2013 at 10:56am — 2 Comments

Thinking about you, Jaret... :)

Last September marked the first fall where my life was not consumed by Jaret's hockey. Each year before that, he and I were consumed by things like, where is he going to play, how many sticks do we need to buy, what shape were his skates in, everything that each parent goes through with their son or daughter in August and September. I loved it.

So with Jaret no longer playing hockey, instead choosing to go to school and begin working towards a career (and staying close to his love,…

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Added by byron leclair on September 24, 2013 at 5:28pm — No Comments

Saying you’re sorry

Nothing makes you more tongue-tied than learning a friend, loved one, colleague, or neighbor is sick, in treatment, or bereaved. What can you say? And what do you do if you fear you’ve said something inappropriate? That’s what happened to a friend. She was worried she’d said the wrong thing to a sick friend and asked ”What can I do to make this right?” At first glance it doesn’t seem like a difficult question; just apologize. But there’s nothing simple about relationships and…

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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on September 24, 2013 at 8:30am — No Comments

Daddy

Today I buried my Daddy.  He was my best friend,  my confidant,   my knight in shinning armour.  I miss him so much I dont think I can bear it.  He was such a joy all my life.  He was always smiling and always helping others with anything they needed.  Daddy was always there for me as I was divorced and he let me lean on him and was a father to my children when thier own father deserted them.  He was a great man and will be missed so much.  Now I must do everthing that comes with death as my…

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Added by Traye Young on September 23, 2013 at 9:31pm — No Comments

Obituary etiquette: Who qualifies as a "survivor"?

Q. Are there any guidelines about mentioning survivors in an obituary? Should an ex-spouse of the deceased be listed — and if so, what wording should be used? How about step-parents and step-siblings, or in-laws?

 

Most of us think of “survivors” as closest kin, but that leaves a lot of leeway in these days of blended families and serial marriages.  In practice, a survivor can be anyone the grieving family says he/she is, and it can get very…

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Added by Florence Isaacs on September 23, 2013 at 11:00am — No Comments

My "new" reality.......

Not really knowing where to start, so I guess I'll start at the beginning.  (IN MY PICTURE CHRISTOPHER IS THE ONE ON THE LEFT AND I AM ON THE RIGHT)

Christopher (my spouse) and I had met back in January of 2004.  I was 21 and he was 20.  From that day on we were a strong force, loved each other deeply, were looked as an inspiration to all of our young gay friends and of course we looked forward to spending the rest of our lives together.  The beginning was a little rough with our…

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Added by John Lanza on September 20, 2013 at 1:49pm — No Comments

Why widows benefit from making new friends



Q: I’ve heard that it’s important to make new friends after you’re widowed. Why is that so and what’s your advice on meeting new people?

A: Your friends are more important than ever after your husband dies, providing emotional and social support that helps you negotiate the grieving process and get back on your feet. They know who you are and who your mate was — no explanations necessary. They know your history and share memories that comfort and…

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Added by Florence Isaacs on September 19, 2013 at 12:46pm — No Comments

LOSS OF LIFE

I met my husband when I was 13. Never dated anyone else.  We were married 38 years when he past away.  My best friend and my security blanket.  Since then I have lost my momma (5years) and my daddy (1 years).  I have a son and daughter and three grandchildren.  I am blessed with 4 Godly grandchildren.  I have had many ups and downs. I have gone thru the WHY'S.  All I can say is I must draw my strength from God.  In closing of my mom and dads estate yesterday, I have never felt so empty.  The…

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Added by Myra Robertson on September 19, 2013 at 8:50am — No Comments

Loss of Sharon

I don't know if I can get through this but will try.  You all have been so kind.  Wanted to tell you about Sharon and I.  We would have been together 30 yrs. this Dec.  Sharon was diagnosed with tongue cancer in Dec. 2011.  She went through surgery, chemo. and radiation. 3mos. of chemo 2 times a wk. and daily radiation for 3 mos.  We always had hope that she would be OK.  She was cancer free until Feb. 2013 and was diagnosed with cancer on the floor of the mouth under the tongue.  Both…

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Added by geri hen on September 19, 2013 at 12:41am — 1 Comment

me

well here it goes i am from pensacola and i own dolphin tree lawn service i took over after donald died and well learning my nephew is helping me and a friend is helping so and i am so so lonely i can not stand it do not know what to do i have been used step on by family and friends do no who to trust anymore .. just want to feel like a woman again or just i do not know i do know how to explain it . maybe someone out there knows i hope just sad all the time have not ever been alone in a long…

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Added by sandra jean knowles on September 18, 2013 at 12:52pm — No Comments

I just want to go home.

Just let me die please Dear Lord....please

 

Amen

Added by shirley zurschmeide on September 16, 2013 at 12:16pm — No Comments

I Am Angry, Sad, Afraid . . . and Alone

Chris died on April 10, 2013 and life, as I knew it, ended for me too!  

I am angry that God left me here to go on alone.  I am angry that others survive cancer and my Chris didn't.  I am angry that Chris is never coming back, and there is nothing I can do about it.  I am angry that all the good things in life are behind me and only pain and loneliness, ahead --- and I will never watch another sunset with him, or laugh at a joke he made, or feel his touch.

We were everything to…

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Added by Barbara Sullivan on September 16, 2013 at 12:14pm — 1 Comment

Loss

im sorry to hear of all the loss this week on this site. My heart goes out to all of you.  It has been 18 months now and I am still struggling.. the other stages are normal, but acceptance i am still far away from.  I pray that it gets easier like people say.  It is all so bloody hard to process. I guess just accepting that it never does go away is the first step

Added by Jennifer on September 16, 2013 at 11:55am — No Comments

Her Birthday Today

  Today Wendy would have been 46 years old. I'll observe it with a Mass in her honor (Wendy was Catholic) and later I'll have dinner in our favorite restaurant. As I have done before I'll have a place set for her, and a Marguerita will wait for her to join us. At the end of dinner I'll drink it in her memory. There will be tears, as there are now. I don't find it morbid, it's just my way of celebrating the life of my unique and sparkling fairy princess.

  Every day brings news…

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Added by Ken Neely on September 15, 2013 at 7:14am — No Comments

Lost & broken hearted

I lost my little sister (48 2/14/13) and I am 51 , she took her life 3/22/13 and this was so unexpected & honestly just hard to believe we even talked about it exactly 1 month before to the day ! I was one of 1st there & had to call my dad to tell him , ( 1 1/2 yrs. ago we buried our niece to cancer , my mom had a small stroke then and she has been not doing well , now she has had another ) I am having a hard time with all this ! There is so much that has happened to me in the past 2… Continue

Added by Laura harrison on September 13, 2013 at 10:48pm — No Comments

Remembering military families on 9/11

People often don’t see how the grief journey can be unique for someone who loses a loved one while on active military status. The events are reported in the media and sometimes families find out about a loved one’s death before the military can arrive to notify them. The public shows up for the funeral, invited or not. Since Sept. 11, 2001, over 16,000 uniformed service members have died on active duty…

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Added by Michelle Rusk (Linn-Gust) on September 11, 2013 at 8:30am — 1 Comment

World Suicide Prevention Day

While my work has been progressing beyond suicide prevention and suicide grief, I am still very much aware that this week is National Suicide Prevention Week and that today is World Suicide Prevention Day. When I looked at Facebook Sunday night, I noted how many people had changed their profile pictures to the purple and turquoise ribbon that we use as the colors for the cause.

 

And then it took a moment for me to remember that I was one of two people behind…

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Added by Michelle Rusk (Linn-Gust) on September 10, 2013 at 7:11pm — No Comments

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