October 2012 Blog Posts (36)

Talking 2 Months of Grief

Grief is a subject a lot of people ignore in hopes it goes away, or don't even acknowledge that life ends with death. My biggest fear was not my own death, but the death of my mom. I'm living through it and it's awful, but many don't want to share openly what happens or how it feels. You know me, I've always been open about myself and this is no different. In fact, I need to talk, it helps me feel like I'm not alone and that if I can help one person even if it's myself, my rambling…

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Added by Natasha on October 31, 2012 at 11:05am — No Comments

Graveside Funerals

Q. I’m going to a graveside funeral for the first time.  Can you tell me what’s involved and why families choose this type of service, rather than a regular funeral at a church or funeral home?  Is there any special etiquette I should know about?



A graveside funeral, which is also known as “direct burial,” is held at the site of the deceased’s grave in the cemetery. …

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Added by Florence Isaacs on October 25, 2012 at 11:00am — No Comments

The Death Instinct: A Time to Live and a Time to Die?

As for everything, there is a season,

And a time for every matter under heaven,

A time to be born, and a time to die….

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Years before his fatal car accident, my son had a pre-death premonition. Between the ages of fifteen and twenty-one, he told us three times that he would die in his twenties.…

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Added by Yaz Rooney on October 24, 2012 at 12:55pm — 1 Comment

HI this is my first time writing, any suggestions I welcome. It's been 13 months since my wife has passed, overian cancer. Family and coworkers do not seem to understand, I have a couple friends that…

  • HI this is my first time writing, any suggestions I welcome. It's been 13 months since my wife has passed, overian cancer. Family and coworkers do not seem to understand, I have a couple friends that do but I think I need more.  Thank you for letting me in.   Karen
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Added by Karen J Austin on October 24, 2012 at 9:08am — 1 Comment

HI this is my first time writing, any suggestions I welcome. It's been 13 months since my wife has passed, overian cancer. Family and coworkers do not seem to understand, I have a couple friends that…

  • HI this is my first time writing, any suggestions I welcome. It's been 13 months since my wife has passed, overian cancer. Family and coworkers do not seem to understand, I have a couple friends that do but I think I need more.  Thank you for letting me in.   Karen
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Added by Karen J Austin on October 24, 2012 at 9:08am — No Comments

Reflections: Heaven Can Wait

A couple of weeks ago, my dear fellow blogger and friend, Sarah Treanor referred me to a book called The Gift Giver by Jennifer Hawkins.

I will provide a full review of the book shortly, however I will say that I found myself crying and nodding my head in solidarity with the Author as she described some of her experiences following the sudden death…

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Added by Valerie Blair on October 22, 2012 at 10:36pm — No Comments

To fuss or not to fuss

My first instinct when I hear that someone is sick or bereaved is to head to the kitchen. I can’t think of anything more comforting than a homemade pot of soup or a home cooked meal. I thought everyone must appreciate being thought of in this caring way until I spoke with a neighbor. Her husband had cancer and during the period of his surgery, treatment, and recovery, she just wanted to be left alone. She didn’t want a phone call, company, or a meal. She preferred to handle things…

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Added by Robbie Miller Kaplan on October 22, 2012 at 3:30pm — 2 Comments

Just lost my mother...

My mother passed away on October 15th.  She was 81 years old, and her health had been failing for quite awhile. I'm an only child, and my father passed away 18 years ago, so I literally feel like an orphan. She lived with me, so the house feels so empty.  I just feel so alone right now!

Added by Colleen Muldowney on October 20, 2012 at 7:50pm — No Comments

Coping - A Personal Journey

I married a beautiful woman; tall, slim and oh so pretty, she was possessed of a delightful nature. That is the basis of the love we shared for 35 years. But it is really an extension of that about which I now write: It relates to the little things that are a comfort now that I no longer have her…

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Added by John Reid on October 20, 2012 at 4:24am — 1 Comment

Coping - Death of a spouse after long illness

Hello, everyone -

I am John, I am an Australian, I am 72 years of age and I lost a dearly loved wife in August. Betty, my wife, was ill for 11 1/2 years. I cared for her for the first ten of those years. She suffered strokes, was diagnosed with emphysaema and then, just 16 months ago, I had to recognise what I already knew but found hard to accept - she was developing general dementia. Following an aged care assessment, I had no real alternative other than to place her in a nursing…

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Added by John Reid on October 18, 2012 at 6:04am — 1 Comment

time doesnt seem to help much

been 8 months now and it feels like it just started. i cant get over why and all the other emotions that go with why. It is so hard to accept my brother is never coming back. I miss him so much. Everyday we spoke and the last 8 months just seem like it was yesterday. Time has been frozen since the day he died. I read other posts and people seem to say that over the years it gets easier. Hoe does you EVER let go, or come to acceptance? i feel so much sadness annd aching right now. 

Added by Jennifer on October 17, 2012 at 6:28pm — No Comments

2 1/2 year survival

Almost three years, since Natasha died. Understanding life, and the loss there of is still and unknown force.



However, for those who are in the throes of grief. You will reach a time where you will laugh, if only at a memory, cry, knowing that you were blessed with one of God's greatest gift, and you will thank him. Where you come to terms with one of the facts of living, is that we will die. And when you ask, why your love one. A glimmer of understanding, will help you to survive,… Continue

Added by JOANN BARNES on October 17, 2012 at 9:34am — No Comments

I miss my Mom and dad

On jan 4 2012 I lost my mother to stage 4 brain cancer this was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life it is so hard to deal with then on may 5 2012 I lost my dad to massive heart attack in his sleep. The loss I have suffered is so hard and I am so depressed I love and miss them so much

Added by Joshua Wheatley on October 16, 2012 at 12:49pm — No Comments

After a Death, the Pain That Doesn’t Go Away New York Times September 29, 2009

After a Death, the Pain That Doesn’t Go Away



Each of the 2.5 million annual deaths in the United States directly affects four other people, on average. For most of these people, the suffering is finite — painful and lasting, of course, but not so disabling that 2 or 20 years later the person can barely get out of bed in the morning.





Yana Paskova for The New York Times

MENTAL HEALTH Dr. M. Katherine Shear, a professor of psychiatry at Columbia University, said… Continue

Added by Martin Connors on October 15, 2012 at 11:26pm — No Comments

Light a candle for lost babies

Today, October 15, is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It's a type of loss that may not always be fully understood, even by the parents' closest friends and family. That's why we and other support groups are bringing attention to it today – both to help our readers understand the devastation that comes with the loss of a pregnancy or an infant, and to show those…

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Added by LegacyConnect on October 15, 2012 at 11:00am — 3 Comments

From his first breath to his last I loved him

Life that you had before you loose a child will never be the same again" surviving  my new normal embracing his memories & savoring each & everyone of them

It is October a tough month for me Kenny would be 28 on the 24th

Added by Karen ~ Kenny's Mom on October 14, 2012 at 8:08pm — No Comments

The pain is so deep, there are no words

 I lost my little brother 13 months ago. I'm still in shock and want to stay in denial. I can't talk about it because that means I have to believe this is real. I think the deepest pain is knowing how much he was hurting. Reading you stories helps me to feel not alone, I wish he didn't feel so alone.

Added by jackie schepise on October 14, 2012 at 7:38am — No Comments

The sudden death of my husband on 10/14/2011

My husband died suddenly a year ago and it seems like yesterday. I can't stand the pain. He was only 50 years old. I miss him so much. He was my hero, my best friend.

Now I am lost , I feel I have retired from life. I am stuck at go. I don't know what to do. I am also so lonely. We spent every day together. We did everything together. He was my sweatheart. I love him so much. The silence is so deafing, if anyone knows what I mean. 

Added by Jan on October 13, 2012 at 7:48pm — 2 Comments

Prayer for today

It is my prayer for today that everyone has a peaceful and blessed day! Psalms 55:22 Throw your Burdens upon Jehovah himself and he will sustain you.  Never will he allow the righteous one to totter.

Added by Margaret Lopez on October 13, 2012 at 6:22am — No Comments

I feel isolated

I lost my father, Donald, on June 12, 2012. His kidneys were failing, and they inserted peritoneal port into his abdomen to prepare him for dialysis. Unfortunately, it port became infected and he had a raging internal infection. The hospital released him even though he was still suffering from high fevers. He died one day later in his living room. Daddy was 86 years old. He had been extremely Independent his entire life, so we were blessed in that way. Of course, as usual, there were legalities… Continue

Added by Deb on October 12, 2012 at 5:29pm — 1 Comment

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