I am in just a state of mind that I cant hardly be alone. When I am left alone with my thoughts, then it's like I go into zombie mode. I didn't tell him I loved him enough. I didn't spend enough time with him. I just want to know that he is okay. I want to know that he is just not in the dirt. I don't like leaving him alone out there when I go to leave the grave site. People make me feel like I should be on the track to getting on with my life. Why would I be? He was a huge part of who I am.…