I haven't found much solace in religion, although I've looked.  But I have found a bit of comfort in quantum physics, of all places.  Under some variants of the many-worlds theory, there's a whole set of worlds where you and I are still together, and your cancer never returned, or returned in a fully treatable form.  So, even though I can't be with you, somewhere and "somewhen" else there's a version of me and a version of you living out the rest of our days in blissful harmony.  I just wish…

"There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." (Gretchen Kemp)

I want somebody to share, share the rest of my life

Share my innermost thoughts, know my intimate details

Someone who'll stand by my side and give me support

And in return she'll get my support



She will listen to me when I want to speak

About the world we live in and life in general



Though my views may be wrong, they may even be perverted

She'll hear…

It's strange - even though she was almost 5000km away from me for the last 3 years, I feel her absence every day.  I never realized how much she was still a part of me until she was taken from me.  Now all I have are too few memories and too many regrets.

Because of my "unique" circumstances, I've had to largely suffer my pain alone - nobody wants to hear how you're mourning the woman you had an affair with, or how you're regretting abandoning her on the other side of the country.

Because of this, I've learned a few things about handling grief alone.  I don't recommend it, and I don't claim to have all the answers.  But, if someone else is going through this, maybe my observations can be of assistance.

First, you're going to…

My wife and I moved out to BC in 2007 so I could take a new job.  That's where and when I met Denise.

Now, I'm going to be up-front here.  My marriage has been rocky for years, and I probably never should have gotten married to my wife in the first place.  So, having said that...

Denise and I started what would commonly be called an "affair", but it grew into so much more.  My wife did strongly suspect, and it almost tore what remained of the marriage apart.  At…