Colleen Pasay's Blog (43)

Thanksgivings without you again.......

As the leaves turn color and fall and the north winds blow I feel another season changing without you here, another year slips by and you are on my mind no less. I hear your laughter and see your face. I know you watch over us as I feel your presence. The kids are growing so beautifully. You would be proud my beautiful boy. I see them almost every weekend now the girls on one weekend and the boys on another. As you can see the addition of 3. They are happy hun and as you can see I am…

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Added by Colleen Pasay on October 8, 2012 at 11:00am — No Comments

Hearing my Heart Break 2nd year

Hello my Beautiful Boy

Today marks 2 years that I received a call no mother ever wants to hear. I remember the time, the place, the disbelief, the agony, and the Hearing of my Heart break…….Everything is now measured by “Before I lost Brett” and “After I lost Brett” You cross my mind so many times a day. Memories; even small things like being in a store and thinking how much you would have liked something or hearing the laughter of your son sounding so much like you; He has your sense of…

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Added by Colleen Pasay on July 28, 2012 at 1:28am — No Comments

2nd Christmas without you...........

This is the 2nd year in Heaven for you Hun and it seemed to be even harder. The days going into this Holiday were filled with despair. I couldn't put up a tree this year. I have just lost too much these past 17 months. My Christmas miracle was seeing your kids for the 1st time in a year. Ethan has grown into a heart breaker like his Dad and Adian seems to have grown up so fast. Bitsy was Bitsy and she flew into my arms as if it were July 2010. What a loss this has been. They…

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Added by Colleen Pasay on December 25, 2011 at 11:32pm — No Comments

Happy Birthday 2nd Birthday in Heaven Hun

No words can say how much I miss you hun. I find this 2nd birthday in heaven even worse than the first.16 months and my heart still breaks at the thought of losing you.…





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Added by Colleen Pasay on November 22, 2011 at 12:30am — 2 Comments

Thanksgiving 2011 Another Holiday without you my Beautiful Boy

Missing you so very much may your Golden Heart keep Shining down on us.

Luv' Ya Hun

Added by Colleen Pasay on October 10, 2011 at 11:11am — No Comments

Hi Hun

Hi Beebies



I spent the last week dealing with Papa's final wishes. I needed to talk to you so bad. When you were here it was you and I against the world ;0) I had your input. I also had Papa's and when I lost you I would call him everyday a habit that filled a void. Now I have lost you both and for the first time in my life I am alone. Jess is here and Ken but it's… Continue

Added by Colleen Pasay on August 30, 2011 at 11:23pm — No Comments

Papa is with you now..............

Hi Hun

Today is Aug 16 2011 and Papa should be showing up there anytime:0) Brett he loved you so very much. He was tired and wanted to see you and Grandma. Bear Hug him and tell him I love him and I will miss his daily calls. Just as I lit a candle for you each day I talked with him. Now I shall light 2. I love you my Beautiful Boy.

xoxoxo…

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Added by Colleen Pasay on August 16, 2011 at 11:27pm — 1 Comment

One year ago today...

“Your candle burned out long before your legend ever will”

 

Memories are made of things that happen every day

But new memories of you ended the day you went away

A heart so golden, a wealth of love

I pray they know what they have above               

Cell phones stay silent and daily texts never come

Dreams have ended…

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Added by Colleen Pasay on July 28, 2011 at 10:47am — 2 Comments

My 1st Birthday without you my Beautiful Boy

The 1st ring of the phone every July 5th was always you....I stared at the phone today not wanting to answer it as I knew in my heart it was not going to be you.Funny last night as I lay in bed 2 stars were shining so bright I had to get up and look I have never seen stars out my bedroom window before. Today at work my girlfriend gave me a gift from the heart.. A star named after you. HIP 3873 in the Constellation of Canis Minor.

It says "Shine on Brett. Your warmth & Golden Heart…

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Added by Colleen Pasay on July 5, 2011 at 5:27pm — 1 Comment

Jessie Grad

your baby sister 2011 Graduation

Added by Colleen Pasay on June 30, 2011 at 11:21pm — No Comments

Jess's Grad

Her corsage in your honour

Added by Colleen Pasay on June 30, 2011 at 11:18pm — 1 Comment

Jessie's Grad

You would have been so proud of her. I know you were there as you shone through her. Love you hun

Added by Colleen Pasay on June 30, 2011 at 11:17pm — No Comments

Grad

Well this day is finally here and Jess has her grad. This is something she so looked forward to sharing with her big brother. This day......you are our missing piece and our hearts are heavy. I know and feel your love. You should have been here you should have stood beside her proudly as you have done her whole life through.These past few day have been so very hard and I seem to cry even more.Her corsage is made from your bandana and she is wearing your watch. You are here my beautiful boy. I… Continue

Added by Colleen Pasay on June 28, 2011 at 8:30am — No Comments

Grad without you........

Well this day is finally here and Jess has her grad. This is something she so looked forward to sharing with her big brother. This day......you are our missing piece and our hearts are heavy. I know and feel your love. You should have been here you should have stood beside her proudly as you have done her whole life through.These past few day have been so very hard and I seem to cry even more.Her corsage is made from your bandana and she is wearing your watch. You are here my beautiful boy. I… Continue

Added by Colleen Pasay on June 28, 2011 at 8:30am — No Comments

Happy Father's Day My Beautiful Boy

Hi Hun

This is a very hard day as I know these kids were your life and I know they will have what you so wanted them to. Thank you for today. I love you so very much and miss you so much my heart aches.

The signs........Thank you hun.

Love ya'…

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Added by Colleen Pasay on June 19, 2011 at 11:04am — No Comments

May 28th Jess's 18th Birthday

Hi Hun

Missing you so very much and wish you could share this day with her. I know you are there with her. She is performing tonight at the mayor's gala and she'll make you proud. I bought her a daimond angel wing necklace from you . I knew it was your taste :0)

Brett you are such a big part of her world she is so proud to call you her brother. As I know you are proud to call her sister.

Miss you so very very much hun

Love Ya…

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Added by Colleen Pasay on May 28, 2011 at 10:14am — No Comments

Another Holiday without you

Hi Hun

Another Holiday without your Laughing eyes and the tilt of your head as you laugh out loud. Your eyes dancing and your warmth filling the room. I miss you so very much and it just seems to get harder not easier. Last week I spent in the hospital with pneumonia and as the ambulance was taking me there they asked who to call......I didn't know what to say you weren't there for me to call. So they called Jessie and she did the same thing I did she reached for you......We couldn't…

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Added by Colleen Pasay on May 23, 2011 at 11:54am — No Comments

Missing you my Beautiful Beautiful Boy

Added by Colleen Pasay on May 7, 2011 at 12:39pm — No Comments

First Easter Without you.........

Happy Easter my Beautiful Boy

Hi hun out at the cabin for Easter the lake is still frozen but still comforting just being out here. I was remembering a few Easters ago when the kids were at Disneyland and Jessie was away it was just you and I....what I wouldn't give for  that moment in time again..............I love you and miss you so very much...xoxo

Added by Colleen Pasay on April 24, 2011 at 12:44pm — No Comments

Just a thought....... I have been reading all these heart breaking stories since last August and I have watched the numbers grow each week and expressed to Tami that what she has done on here and bro…

Just a thought.......

I have been reading all these heart breaking stories since last August and I have watched the numbers grow each week and expressed to Tami that what she has done on here and brought together is truly phenomenal. Unbelievable how these stories reach across thousands of miles and find their way into all of our hearts. Donny’s mom commented to me that she hadn’t seen me on recently, but I have been here, every day like many of you. I read quietly, sometimes commenting on… Continue

Added by Colleen Pasay on March 29, 2011 at 8:28pm — No Comments

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