Christine Bastone's Blog (20)

Letter to Liz dated September 10th, 2012

Dear Liz,


7 months ago today you died. 
 
Plus it's Wordwide Suicide Prevention Day.


Kind of a double whammy!!!


The day did not start out well.  Joshua woke me up at 7:40.  I had overslept.  And so for the first time ever my kids were late to school!!  :(
 
It was a really busy morning.  The Suicide Prevention Day is all over Facebook.  And there was so much activity in my groups...pages...and…
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Added by Christine Bastone on March 6, 2013 at 9:00am — No Comments

Letter to Liz part 2 dated August 10th, 2012

NOTE:  I actually wrote this to post in a FB group where I can attach a picture.  Of course I can't attach a picture here...so if you want to see the picture please go to: 
Dear Liz,
 
I did manage to get…
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Added by Christine Bastone on February 6, 2013 at 9:00am — No Comments

Letter To Liz dated August 10th, 2012

Dear Liz,


It's been exactly six months since you died.
 
I've actually been doing somewhat better recently...but not today.  :(


I was up most of the night...I couldn't sleep.  I went through the envelopes of almost all of the things I have to remind me of you. 
 
I copied and pasted all of my answers to the Daily Questions from this support group into a document...and sent it to my Kindle.  I believe it was…
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Added by Christine Bastone on February 6, 2013 at 8:30am — No Comments

Letter to Liz dated July 29th, 2012

Dear Liz,


I really wanted something that I could touch on me at all times that would help me feel connected to you.  I thought of a charm.  That's what helped me so much after my miscarriage. 
 
I went on Etsy.  Found a charm at a very reasonable price...from this very nice lady...and I ordered it.  I just got it a few days ago.  I guess I didn't pay any attention to the size...because it was smaller than I expected.  But each day I seem to love it…
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Added by Christine Bastone on January 6, 2013 at 8:30am — No Comments

Letter to Liz dated December 10th, 2012 Part 2

Dear Liz,



Today has not been the best of days.  :(

 

I was up late last night...and then early this morning.  So then I was so tired when it was time to get ready to take the kids to school...I could barely get off the couch. 

 

I really needed to get ready for Christmas today...but I just wasn't up to it.



I sort of felt lost today.  I was online a lot.  I read some on my Kindle.  Unfortunately I didn't do much that was…

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Added by Christine Bastone on December 10, 2012 at 10:25pm — No Comments

Letter To Liz dated December 10th, 2012

Dear Liz,



Today it's been exactly 10 months since you died.  :(

 

On November 17th...we went to the ASPCA and then The Humane Society looking for a dog.  Katelyn found one at The Humane Society...a red nose chihuahua named "Buster".  Not quite what I expected...but a very sweet dog nonetheless.  Thank you for leading us to him.  He adds a little too much work to my day...but I still like having a dog that you helped us find. ♥

 

November 17th was also…

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Added by Christine Bastone on December 10, 2012 at 10:21pm — No Comments

Letter to Liz dated July 9th, 2012

Dear Liz,


I'm not doing too well right now.  :(


Learning to live without you seems to be getting harder...not easier.  I'm tired of the pain so I've been pushing the grief away more than feel it.  I still read all my grief groups...but I haven't been posting much at all.  And all of a sudden I stopped reading the library books on the subject. 
 
I've been depressed...and practically in despair.  I don't want to go anywhere....and I…
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Added by Christine Bastone on December 6, 2012 at 8:30am — No Comments

A Story About Liz's 39th Birthday

NOTE: Liz died just a few months after she turned 38. Her birthday is December 5th. Reading this story is one of the things I've figured out to do is to on my sister's first birthday in heaven.

FYI: When I mention her child...it's the one she miscarried. And since I also had one miscarriage...and our other sister Pam has had two miscarriages...that makes the three nieces/nephews that I mention in the story.

 

Without further ado...LOL *smile*...here is the…

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Added by Christine Bastone on December 5, 2012 at 12:00am — No Comments

Thanksgiving Letter To Liz

Dear Liz,

 

The entire morning was taken up by cooking my very first Thanksgiving dinner ever!  There was really no time to mourn or grieve.

 

I saw the flowers I have for you...as well as the pictures...but I focused on making the dinner, and having a special Thanksgiving with my husband and my kids.

 

Afterward I took one of the Thanksgiving pictures I made and took it and my Kindle to my room.  I read some on my Kindle...I touched the picture...I…

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Added by Christine Bastone on November 22, 2012 at 10:02pm — No Comments

Week In Review Date July 23rd, 2012

NOTE:  Even though it is the 23rd...I am writing this about the 15th through the 21st

How has the past week been for you?  okay

 

What was the worst thing that happened?  I watched the movie "Rango"

 

What was the best thing that happened?   I ordered a charm with Liz's name on it from someone on Etsy with a little bit of my birthday money.  And my daughter gave me a locket on my birthday that I'm going to put a picture of Liz in…

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Added by Christine Bastone on November 16, 2012 at 8:00am — No Comments

Letter to Liz dated November 10th, 2012 Part 2

Dear Liz,
 
Well I fell asleep earlier last night than I expected.  It was about 11:00.  However...I woke up about 1:00 am!  And I haven't been asleep again since!


I've been on the computer most of the day!  I shared that this is your 9th monthaversary in all the appropriate groups.  And also shared your Memorial Service event in a lot of places.  I posted a lot in the group you share with Tim.  I talked to an online friend on the phone.  I…
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Added by Christine Bastone on November 11, 2012 at 7:10am — No Comments

My First Liz Story

It's not finished yet...but this story is about what I imagine Liz's experience might have been after she died. Even just the small part that I have written does bring me some comfort and peace. :)

She had done it...she had died. She looked around for Damian...but didn't see him. But instead of searching for him more...she went through the tunnel that she had heard about. And she was met on the other side first by her Grandma Shively. Even though she had never met her...she instantly…

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Added by Christine Bastone on November 10, 2012 at 8:00am — No Comments

Letter To Liz dated November 10th, 2012

Dear Liz,

It has now been exactly 9 months since I lost you.  :(

This past month has been very busy with the Book Fair...Dad's birthday...Pioneer Days...Halloween...driving my adopted baby sister's kids home from school...your online Memorial Service...your FB Page...Joshua's tutoring...Katelyn being in Chorus...Joshua and Katelyn being in a club after school...and Volunteering in the school library.

 

Not to mention being ignored by my husband for a week, and…

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Added by Christine Bastone on November 10, 2012 at 2:49am — No Comments

Letter to Liz dated June 5th, 2012

Dear Liz,
 
I grieved pretty intensely for you for the first three months.


Then I felt like I had come up for air...and it was a little easier.
 
This went on until Memorial Day.  I don't know quite why...but that was a tough day for me.  And I seemed to lose what little progress I had gained.
 
So then I pretty intensely grieved for you once again.  Until I just had enough...and needed to focus on…
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Added by Christine Bastone on November 8, 2012 at 8:30am — No Comments

Letter to Liz dated June 10th, 2012

Dear Liz,
 
It's been 4 months today since you died. 
 
In some ways it feels like yesterday...in others it feels like forever.
 
Boy do I hope that you did not realize how much pain your death would cause your family.  If you did...you must have absolutely hated us!


There are no words that can possibly describe the amount and depth of the pain we feel at…
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Added by Christine Bastone on November 6, 2012 at 8:30am — No Comments

Letter to Liz dated October 10th, 2012 Part 2

Dear Liz,

 

I guess the key to grieving for me is to plan ahead!! 



I not only figured out what I was going to do today...but I set up 2 things that I knew would comfort me today.  A phone call with a good online friend...and I also had a FB friend share the link for your page! 

 

You…

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Added by Christine Bastone on October 10, 2012 at 7:17pm — No Comments

Letter To Liz Dated October 10th, 2012

Dear Liz,



It's now been exactly 8 months since you died.  :(



Have you seen your Facebook Page?  I really hope that you like it!



I especially like the photos that I put together just for my Page!  A

friend of mine told me how to do it just this week.  :)



And then just this week I created a Twitter account to connect the

page to.



I've also been working on your online memorial service I'll be doing on

your anniversary…

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Added by Christine Bastone on October 10, 2012 at 6:43pm — No Comments

And Then There Were 4

The subject line of this blog runs through my head a lot sometimes.      It reminds me of the Agatha Christie book "And Then There Were None" 
 
There were 5 people in my family...and now there are 4. 
 
Nowhere is this more apparent than when I get together with my family.  I can get together with just my mother okay...although maybe not at her house.  But add my Dad and/or my sister Pam...and I have a hard time.
 
Then it…
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Added by Christine Bastone on October 10, 2012 at 7:59am — No Comments

What I'm Struggling With

Below is a list of things that I am struggling with regarding the loss of my beloved sister Liz:

 

1.  Guilt.  This is one of my biggies.  I feel guilty that I didn't know that she was hurting so badly...that I never chatted with her on Gmail after I found out her gmail address last November...that I only contacted her once after November...that I survived when I was suicidal and she didn't...and that I wasn't able to use my experience to help her...that I wasn't there when she…

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Added by Christine Bastone on April 29, 2012 at 2:55pm — 3 Comments

My Story

Let me start with last Thanksgiving.  The day itself was a normal one for me.  But I guess after I left my sister told our parents that she was getting a divorce.



We came over on Saturday for dinner.  However...we weren't there very long before we all heard my sister arguing with my mother.  I had never heard my sister go off quite like that before.  I had absolutely no idea what to do!!  Oh how now I wish that I had tried to get her to talk to me!



Anyway...my mother…

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Added by Christine Bastone on April 7, 2012 at 3:12pm — No Comments

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