I came across an interesting essay in yesterday’s New York Times, “Coping with Crises Close to Someone Else’s Heart” by Harriett Brown. Brown’s piece describes the often puzzling changes that occur in personal relationships after one side of the friendship

goes through a tragedy or traumatic personal event. I certainly related

to her observations – not only as a “suicide…

I would imagine that anyone who has suffered a tragedy at some point – in my case, the suicide of my brother nine months ago – hears comments to this effect: “Oh, but compared to what you’re going through, my problems are meaningless … I feel silly telling you.” I know these comments come from a place of kindness, but it can be incredibly frustrating.

After a tragedy, the hardest thing…